Secret Agent Clank script

Secret Agent Clank script comprises the full verbal transcript of Secret Agent Clank.

Notes

• Menu transcriptions are found on Secret Agent Clank menu transcript.
• Some scenes are interspersed within a mission, or are otherwise related, therefore some scenes may be placed non-chronologically but instead prior to or after their respective mission section.
• Some in-game dialogue is not included in their respective sections if they are not unique to said section. These lines will be placed together in a single section in the § Miscellaneous section.
  • However, some dialogue is triggered only once upon introduction, despite technically being able to be triggered elsewhere if the introduction happened there. In these cases, the dialogue is placed in the earliest possible section.

For other information regarding the format and layout of this article, see the transcript guideline.

Boltaire Museum

Clank's Secret Mission

Cute Anastasia Bot: Greetings, Agent Clank. Were you able to protect the Eye of Infinity?

Clank: No. Not only that, I saw something quite disturbing!

Cute Anastasia Bot: Hold on. I am receiving a news feed from your location. I'll patch it through.

Darla Gratch: Good evening. Galactic Police are reporting the Eye of Infinity, the largest pristine gem in the universe, has been stolen from the Boltaire Museum. In a surprising twist, galactic hero, Ratchet, was caught at the scene of the crime.

Ratchet: Crime doesn't pay, huh? Well, I can tell you from experience that being a hero really doesn't pay! I'm still living in a tiny room with some two bit bag of bolts, but that's gonna change soon! The Eye has been taken where no one will ever find it. You may have me now, but there hasn't been a prison built that can hold me.

Darla Gratch: This is a sad turn of events for one of the galaxy's foremost heroes. Darla Gratch, Channel 64 News.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Oh, I'm sorry, Agent. I know you and Ratchet are friends—..

Clank: There is no way that was my friend. Run a complete retinal comparison on the news image.

Cute Anastasia Bot: The ID is positive: that was Ratchet.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Agent, there is no time to waste. I need you to re-enter the Museum and find out where the Eye has been taken. Inside the museum, you will find robot security guards, tank bots, and guard dogs. There are also several laser traps and alarm systems. The Eye was kept in this case. Make your way to the case and search for anything that might give you an idea of the Eye's whereabouts. I know this has become personal for you, but we believe that this theft is part of a larger plan. It is imperative that you remain objective and complete the mission.

Clank: I understand. I will report back with my findings.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Remember, Agent, I've got my eye on you.

Escape the Ravine (gameplay)

(Upon approaching the first searchlight.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: The guards will throw down dogs if they see you in their flashlight beams. Be ready to attack them! Press square to punch.

On-screen: The guards will throw down dogs if they see you in their flashlight beams. Be ready to attack them! (Press to punch)

(Upon climbing the slope up to the museum.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: The Agency rewards agents that complete their missions with stealth and secrecy. Sneak by your enemies and get bonus nanotech for you and your weapons!

Get Inside the Museum (gameplay)

(Upon reaching the second hallway of the museum.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Some of those pedestals are missing statutes. If you pose there, I bet the guards would walk right by.

(Upon approaching an empty pedestal.)
On-screen: Press to hide as a statue

(Upon reaching the first ledge in the museum.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Jump and face a ledge to grab it. From there, you can jump again, or move sideways by pressing the analog stick.

(While still hanging from the ledge.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: You can move the left analog stick from left or right to sidle while hanging from ledges.

(Upon reaching the rooftop of the museum.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Try taking those security tanks out with your experimental Tie-A-Rang unit! Press circle to throw a tie, use triangle for quick select.

On-screen: Try taking those security tanks out with your experimental Tie-A-Rang unit! (Press to throw a tie, use for Quick Select)

Not The Guided Tour (gameplay)

(Upon approaching a plaque at the museum.)
On-screen: Press to read plaque

(Upon reading the dipping bird robot plaque.)
On-screen: This "dipping bird" robot was responsible for many revolutionary advances, from zen meditation to perpetual motion.

(Upon reading the ancient silicon etchings plaque.)
On-screen: These ancient silicon etchings provide clues as to the culture of our ancestors. Only ten million transistors, but such poetry!

(Upon reading the Eye-Bot 3000 plaque.)
On-screen: The Eye-Bot 3000's unique life-cycle revolves around posting pictures to social networking sites and leaving inane comments.

(Upon obtaining the Blackout Pen.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: That Blackout Pen allows you to defeat automated security systems like lasers and cameras. Fire the pen at the cameras or laser emitters to quickly deactivate them.

(Upon using the Blackout Pen when low on ammo.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: That Blackout Pen will allow you to infiltrate almost any location, but the dark matter it runs on is extremely rare. Look for the special crates that contain it!

(Upon reaching the first target watchman for stealth attacks.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: You can take out this guard silently by sneaking up behind it and executing a stealth takedown. Press square when behind an enemy to take it down!

On-screen: You can take out this guard silently by sneaking up behind it and executing a stealth takedown. (Press when behind an enemy to take it down)

(Upon reaching the room to the right of the first guard beaten by the stealth takedown.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: That laser grid is too dense to navigate without help. Use your Blackout Pen to knock out a few of those laser emitters to get past.

(Upon reading the laser sight plaque.)
On-screen: The laser sight on this stone axe is classic example of robots improving on organic technology and yet somehow still missing the point.

(Upon reading the fossilized weapons plaque.)
On-screen: These fossilized weapons pre-date laser technology, and were likely crafted during the grim days of the Monster Truck Era.

(Upon reading the robotic caveman plaque.)
On-screen: Robotic cavemen first evolved from ball bearings and springs, but soon found an ecological niche in customer service call centers.

(Upon reaching the robotic hands plaque.)
On-screen: The first robotic hands lacked articulation, but their constant thumbs-up helped the robots make peace with their neighbors.

(Upon reaching the cranial model plaque.)
On-screen: This cranial model reappears often throughout history, and has proven particularly appealing to teenagers and other key demographics.

(Upon reaching the first vendor.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: This phone booth is really a well disguised Agency vendor.

(Upon approaching the blocked off hallway to the gem exhibit in the main lobby.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: The hallway to the gem exhibit is blocked off. You'll need to find another way.

(Upon approaching a potted plant.)
On-screen: Press to hide behind the leaves

(Upon reading the Ratchet plaque.)
On-screen: On Special Loan From The Galactic Museum Of Heroism: A Fully-Functional Replica Of Ratchet's Lacerators!

(Upon approaching the statue without any ammo left in your Tie-A-Rang (will also play later in the game if the weapon is required).)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Looks like you've run out of the proper weapon ammunition Agent Clank, I'll engage the Agency's teleporter and send you some, but we can't have you use it; the enemy could trace it to your position.

On-screen: Stay put Agent Clank, I'm engaging the Agency's teleporter to send you some emergency ammunition.

(Upon reaching the tether below the large statue.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: See that tether? Your Tie-A-Rang device can easily cut through wires like that. Try using it now!

(Upon cutting the tethers.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Great! Now sneak to the statue, and climb up it to the second floor!

(Upon not cutting it.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Wires that look like that can be cut with your Tie-A-Rang! Throw your bowtie!

(Upon reading the Megacorp Rivet Bot plaques.)

On-screen

• The contest to determine which robot was the evil one ended in a victory for XT-3302, who altered the trajectory of a comet to hit a nearby animal shelter.
• The lack of glowing red eyes and metallic goatees made it impossible to tell which robot here was the evil twin.

(Upon reading the Rosetta Tank plaque.)
On-screen: Far from being an implement of war, the fabled "Rosetta Tank" turned out to be the bathtub toy of a giant sea creature named Cootewloo.

(Upon reading the plaque for a stash of crates.)
On-screen: Coming soon: A Biobliterator Retrospective!

(Upon reading the first beach-going tourist bot plaque.)
On-screen: This beach-going bot manufactures its own carbonation and can shoot natural reserves of suntan lotion on its predators.

(Upon reading the second beach-going tourist bot plaque.)
On-screen: The nagging, shrill cries of the tourist bot can shatter glass and cause local business to mark their products up by 300%.

(Upon reading the Extermibot plaques.)

On-screen

• This "Evil Twin" display features two robots, separated at birth! One went on to invent robotic puppies, the other invented telemarketing.
• Can you figure out which robot is good, and which is evil? Hint: Try looking at their molecular densities!

(Upon passing the police barrier without Jet Boots.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Don't try to break the police barrier, Agent Clank! You need to jump over it instead. Grab those Jet Boots from the exhibit nearby and try it.

The First Clue

Clank: Ancient Proverb: Mind your own beeswax. Made by—Use Your Noodle Cookie Company, Asyanica.

Clank: I believe I have found a clue to the location of the Eye.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Of course! There's a thriving black market there. They must be trying to unload it.

Clank: I do not recognize these coordinates. 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42?.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Hah-he-he. Silly, those are lucky numbers. I'll upload the coordinates for you.

Clank: Thank you.

Prison Planet (Max-Security Cells)

Ratchet, Up The River

Ratchet: (screams)

Ratchet: Where am I? Who are you?

Warden: Awww, did we wake ya, hero? You're in Galactic Ultra-High Security Lockdown. Cell number J7B, to be exact. I'm your friendly warden.

Ratchet: How did I get here? The last thing I remember was brushing my teeth and then-..

Warden: Yeah, everyone in here is innocent. This may be a bit of a shock to the system, but if you want to survive in here for more than...today, you better have a little fight in ya.

Ratchet: Huh?

Warden: It seems that a lot of these folks were put in here by you and they've got a score to settle.

Ratchet: Aren't you supposed to protect me?

Warden: Normally, I would, but I didn't think a big hero like yourself needed protecting.

Warden: Besides, I'm getting a little cash on the side to make sure your time in here is less than hospitable. Y'all take care now.

Asyanica

Number Woo's Ambush

Cute Anastasia Bot: This is Asyanica. A lawless city run by the evil Number Woo and his robot ninja army. Crime is rampant in this neon jungle, and every street could be a waiting deathtrap. Since everything runs through his robotic fingers, we believe that Number Woo knows the whereabouts of the Eye. Track him down and get the information.

Clank: (screams)

Number Woo: Ah, Agent Clank. You seem to have an electric personality! (laughs) Once my ninjas power up this laser, it will destroy you. Permanently. Prepare to die!

Clank: Bravo, Hector, Serpentine: go, go, go. The turkey is in the dishwasher!

Free Agent Clank! (gameplay)

Cute Anastasia Bot: Gadgebot Prime, we've dropped your team as close to Clank as possible. You must hurry and free him!

(Upon idling too long at the first bridge and approaching the panel.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Smash the panel to extend the bridge.

(Upon approaching the two enemies after the gear platform.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Order your squad to attack by holding triangle and choosing the attack command.

On-screen: Order your squad to attack by holding and choosing the attack command.

(If a gadgebot takes too much damage.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: One of your teammates is down! Repair him by holding triangle and choosing the Repair command.

On-screen: One of your teammates is down! Repair him by holding and choosing the Repair command.

(Upon idling too long without approaching the power station.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Get near the power station to pick up an electrical charge.

(Upon idling too long with an electrical charge.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Carry an electrical charge between those wires.

(Upon idling too long next to the button platform.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Press circle to form a stack with nearby gadgebots.

On-screen: Press to form a stack with nearby Gadgebots

(Upon reaching Clank.)
Clank: Do you expect me to talk?

(While near Clank.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Bite those electric ties and free Agent Clank!

Gadgebot Rescue

Clank: I will be sure to send your regards to Number Woo. (chuckles)

The Halls of Asyanica (gameplay)

(Upon reaching the switches in the second challenge, "Working Down".)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Switch to another gadgebot by pressing X.

On-screen: Switch to another gadgebot by pressing .

Number Woo works for...? (gameplay)

(Upon encountering the first group of robot ninjas.)
Clank: Ambush!

(When the second wave appears.)
Clank: Assassins!

(Upon defeating both groups of robot ninjas.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Now that Clank has the Jet Boots, he can extend his jumps by gliding. Hold X as Clank is jumping to let him glide.

On-screen: Now that Clank has the Jet Boots, he can extend his jumps by gliding. Hold as Clank is jumping to let him glide.

(At some point, only on the PS2 version.)
HelpDesk (on-screen): If you're having trouble controlling Clank and the camera at once, you may want to switch to Lock-Strafe Camera. Find it in Camera & Controls in the Options menu.

(Upon reaching the final group of enemies.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: You can turn your Cufflink Bombs into traps; attach them to enemies and floors and they'll detonate when another enemy gets near. Hold down circle until the bomb reaches its target.

HelpDesk: You can turn your Cufflink Bombs into traps; attach them to enemies and floors and they'll detonate when another enemy gets near. (Hold down until the bomb reaches its target)

Cornering Number Woo

Clank: You seem to be tied up at the moment. I can come back later.

Number Woo: Wait! I can't let my minions see me like this.

Clank: Well, if you tell me the whereabouts of the Eye, perhaps I can be persuaded to let you go.

Number Woo: Fine. I was told to send it to Countess Ivana Lottabolts on Glaciara.

Clank: I see. Thank you for the information.

Number Woo: I thought you were going to let me go?

Clank: And I thought you would try to kill me if I did. So, I opted not to.

Number Woo: (screams) Taste my laser Agent Clank!

Qwark Tales: Larger Than Life

Qwark: Ahh. I love the smell of destruction.

Barney: So, this is where the battle took place?

Qwark: Yes, someday your grandchildren will read of my exploits here. Wait, do robots have grandchildren-or even children?

Qwark: No matter. Soon the entire Galaxy will know of my greatness, thanks to the biography you're writing...um...whatever your name is?

Barney: I am Biography Analysis Robot Neo Eight Yellow.

Qwark: Soooo... Barney it is. It all started when I received a distress call from the Asyianc-ian-ites saying that they needed a hero to combat the mechanical monster that had taken over their city. The winged menace was 50 feet high if he was an inch.

Qwark: Luckily, I noticed a nearby growth pad. I made a few quick modification using a magnitudinal quantification on the vertex of an ellipse-..

Barney: Wait, that doesn't make any sense.

Qwark: Were you there, nerdo?

Barney: No, sir.

Qwark: I didn't think so. As I was saying, I adjusted some doohickies and stepped onto the platform, and immediately grew to gigantic size. I was now ready to battle the monstrosity.

Qwarkography, Ch. 1 (gameplay)

(When the mission begins.)
Qwark: Press circle to fire my trusty blaster!

On-screen: Press to fire my trusty blaster!

(Upon being hit.)
Qwark: I can make a quick DODGE by pressing the X button and analog stick together!

On-screen: I can make a quick DODGE by pressing and analog stick together!

(Upon failing to properly hit the monster.)
Qwark: If he'd just stay put, I could fire my mega blaster by pressing triangle!

On-screen: If he'd just stay put, I can fire my MEGA BLASTER by pressing !

(After using the mega blaster.)
On-screen: Stand on CHARGE PADS for megablaster ammo!

(After the mechanical monster pushes Qwark to a new arena.)
Qwark: Of course the monster hadn't run away! He was gathering up...uh...destructo-energy from...uh...nearby power stations!

Qwark: But then...robot ninjas attacked! Giant robot ninjas!

Qwark: No, no...they were bigger than that. They were bulky with...with...ninjitsu!

Qwark: And many more! Ninjas were popping up everywhere!

(When ninjas attack Qwark.)
Qwark: And, and! They were explosive! Yeah, that's it. Giant, exploding, robot ninjas!

(Upon destroying a robot ninja without punching them into the power stations.)
Qwark: I must punch these giant ninjas into those red power stations!

(After a power station is destroyed.)
Qwark: Then, the monster unleashed his Mega Death Beam attack.

Qwark: I dodged out of the way! But...like any true hero, quick-thinking saved me. I knew I could reflect his attack with a nearby pharmacological-whatsit-doohicky building.

(After defeating the monster.)
Qwark: And that's how the city was saved! Eh, at least any part we didn't step on...

Editorial Control

Barney: Soooo, that's what you want me to write?

Qwark: That's ma story, and I'm stickin' to it!

Barney: Where to next?

Qwark: Our next destination: excitement!

Barney: Oh, brother.

Glaciara

The Dance of Death

Cute Anastasia Bot: You have arrived at the palatial chalet of Countess Ivana Lottabolts. A woman of privilege, she inherited a huge fortune from her father, who brought civilization to this once barren ice comet. She may want to add the Eye of Infinity to her diamond collection. She is also a champion ballroom dancer, and has a deep love of music.

Clank: Good evening sir, the Countess is expecting me.

Clank: The rumors are true.

Ivana Lottabolts: And vat rumors are dose?

Clank: That the most ravishing creature in all the galaxy inhabits this palace.

Ivana Lottabolts: Well, aren't you the little flatterer, Agent Clank.

Clank: I see you have heard rumors of your own.

Ivana Lottabolts: Why yes, I have. I understand you are looking for the Eye of Infinity.

Clank: That is on my agenda.

Ivana Lottabolts: Perhaps I vill give you the information, if you prove yourself worthy in a dance.

Clank: I have been told I am light on my feet.

Ivana Lottabolts: Good. Because if you are not, you will die!

A Suave Escape

Ivana Lottabolts: That was incredible. You have swept me off my feet the way no other robot has!

Clank: It is your beauty that stirs the rhythm of my soul. Speaking of beauty, you said you had information on the Eye of Infinity?

Ivana Lottabolts: The Eye was just taken by my associate to the Kingpin on the planet of Rionosis.

Clank: I see.

Ivana Lottabolts: Perhaps we could do this again sometime?

Clank: Doubtful.

Ivana Lottabolts: Guards! Seize him!

Black Diamond of Doom! (gameplay)

(At the start of the mission.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Use L and R to ram into enemies.

On-screen: Press or to ram enemies.

(Upon reaching the first obstacle.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Press X to jump obstacles.

On-screen: Press to jump obstacles.

(Upon being hit by an enemy.)
Clank: Starting evasive maneuvers.

(Upon first using Cufflink Bombs.)
Clank: Deploying countermeasures.

(Sometimes upon hitting enemies.)
Clank: (chuckles)

(Sometimes if an enemy hits one of the mines.)
Clank: Safety first.

(Upon reaching the first slope.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Use the square button to slow down.

On-screen: Press to slow down.

(Upon reaching the cave.)
Clank: Yoodle-ay-hee-hoo!

(Upon jumping off a cliff.)
Clank: Yee-haw!

(Upon passing over the second bridge.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Mines can destroy bridges. Press circle to drop mines.

On-screen: Mines can destroy bridges. Press to drop mines.

Mess Hall

Ratchet's Food Fight

Cute Anastasia Bot: Agent Clank, we've received reports from our inside operative that Ratchet may be in serious trouble.

Warden: Well, son, looks like you survived...so far. I think a friend of yours wants to say hello.

Thug Leader: Hiyas, knucklehead! You remember me?

Ratchet: Oh, uh—sure.

Thug Leader: Last time we met, you's was shooting down my helicopter. You know what it feels like to hit the pavement from 800 feet? Well, you're about to find out!

Rionosis

Rise of the Kingpin

Cute Anastasia Bot: Our operatives were unable to dig up much on the Kingpin, which, considering our connections, is pretty odd. He has risen to power very quickly and controls a vast empire with dozens of thugs at his disposal. He is under extreme protection at all times, and his main henchman is this robot, the Jack Of All Trades. Please be careful Agent, I want you back here in one piece.

Clank: Bingo!

All The Kingpin's Men (gameplay)

Cute Anastasia Bot: Follow the Kingpin without being spotted. Don't lose him.

(When the Kingpin is a distance away from Clank.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: The Kingpin's getting away, you better catch up before you lose him.

(If he gets too far away.)
On-screen: The Kingpin got away! Next time follow closer.

(Upon using weapons nearby.)
On-screen: Using weapons alerts nearby henchbots! Try stealth-killing the Kingpins guards.

(Upon attacking the Kingpin directly.)
On-screen: Don't attack the Kingpin, kill his guards!

(Upon attacking a guard too close to the Kingpin..)
On-screen: You attacked a guard when he was too close to the Kingpin!

(Upon being seen by the guards.)

Clank

• Oh no!
• I have been spotted.

On-screen: Don't get seen by Guards when they are so close to the Kingpin.

(Upon being seen by the Kingpin.)
Kingpin: Take 'em out!

On-screen: The Kingpin spotted you! Try to stay out of his vision!

(Upon approaching the first street vendor.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Clank, use that street vendor to disguise yourself to avoid being spotted!

(Upon approaching a street vendor.)
On-screen: Press to grab a disguise

(While wearing a disguise.)
On-screen: Press to remove disguise.

(When the Kingpin turns around.)
Kingpin: What's that?

(When the Kingpin heads down into the first street.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Look for opportunities to quietly eliminate the Kingpin's henchmen.

(When the Kingpin first hears Clank.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: The Kingpin heard you, he's sending his henchman to investigate. Hide, Clank!

(When the Kingpin hears Clank.)
Clank: They heard me! I must hide!

(After the Kingpin turns around the second time, sending a henchman to investigate.)
Kingpin: Check it out.

(When the Kingpin's first henchman leaves the group.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: He is alone, Clank, sneak up behind him, and take him down!

(After defeating all henchmen.)
Clank: I cannot let him get away!

(When the Kingpin reaches the end without losing all of his guards.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: You didn't destroy all of the guards in time!

Get A Lift (gameplay)

Cute Anastasia Bot: The Kingpin and Jack are running off; follow them!

(Upon reaching the gondola.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: The Kingpin knows you're tailing him; he's sending his henchmen to eliminate you. Get ready!

(After defeating the first set of enemies on the gondolas.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: That looks like the last—oh no! The Kingpin is sending a helicopter loaded with air-to-air missiles!

(After defeating the first four gondolas are destroyed.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: The helicopter is shooting the gondolas out of the sky! Find another gondola to jump to! Quickly!

(Upon reaching the second cluster of gondolas.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Looks like the copter is out of missiles for the moment. More enemies, incoming!

(After defeating all enemies on the second cluster of gondolas.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: The gondolas are heading to that mountain rest stop. There's no way you're gonna be able to stay on.

Cute Anastasia Bot: There, on the right! Jump down to that service port ledge.

Qwark Tales: Suck and Jive

Clank: Just a moment please. My shoe is untied.

Clank: Hm. Property of Le Paradis Des Tricheurs. Ah yes, I know that casino well.

Clank: You are not the only one with an ace up their sleeve!

Qwark: Hmmm...Jack of all Trades, eh?

Barney: Excuse me?

Qwark: This is where the magic happened, my friend!

Barney: Magic?!

Qwark: My epic battle with... The Jack of All Trades!

Barney: Um, yes. That is an Ace, not a Jack.

Qwark: You're really starting to cramp my style, Barney!

Qwark: As I was saying. Jack and I were locked in battle mano e mano when my blaster jammed. Thinking quickly, I grabbed the Suc-Vac 3000 from a nearby janitor's closet.

Qwarkography, The Gamblin' Years (gameplay)

(Sometimes upon attacking Jack of All Trades.)

Qwark

• Wham!
• Zing!
• Kapow!
• Kablooey!

(Sometimes upon being hit.)
Qwark: I know that looked bad, but I was really just allowing myself to lull him into a false sense of security.

(Partway early on in the battle.)
Qwark: No, no, he was bigger than that.

(Partway during the battle.)
Qwark: Did I mention that he had laser eyes?

Qwark: It, uh, was a figure of speech, mac. He had a really...intense...squint.

(Midway through the battle.)
Qwark: At that exact moment, my blaster jammed, and I pulled out the trusty Suc-Vac 3000 that I normally keep in case of emergencies. I knew that I could turn the tide of battle by using Jack's own weapons against him! Especially those bombs. Yup. Had to get those.

(Upon filling the vacuum completely without emptying it.)
On-screen: Qwark's vacuum cleaner is as full as it can get! Fire the vacuum's contents at Jack by tapping !

(After defeating Jack.)
Qwark: And the rest is history.

Barney's Agenda

Qwark: So, watcha doin' there, pal?

Barney: I...um...am a sending the first draft of these stories back to the publisher!

Qwark: Ooh. I just love the book biz. Let me know what they think of my amazing adventures!

Barney: I will...I certainly will.

Le Paradis Des Tricheurs Casino

Special Delivery

Cute Anastasia Bot: Using the information you gave us, we were able to track the Eye to this crate. While it is important to retrieve the Eye, it's more important to find out who is behind its theft. Once it's taken into the Casino, it may lead right to our target. Stay out of sight, and keep your pretty green eyes on that crate.

Clank: Good evening, sir. Could you sign for this please?

Guard: What is it?

Clank: It is the, um, display case for that.

Guard: Eh... Kinda small, don'tcha think?

Clank: I cannot help the way I was constructed, sir. (sniffs) It has been a burden the length of my existence.

Guard: Oh, er, sorry fella. I didn't mean nothin' by it. Have a good one.

Paradise Exploited (gameplay)

Cute Anastasia Bot: I've patched into their radio earpieces—you should be able to hear what the guards are saying.

Casino guard: Security alert: Be on the lookout for Secret Agent Clank! Green eyes, uh... Tuxedo...looks like, a, a...a secret agent!

Cute Anastasia Bot: You'll need the Holo-Monocle to get through this door. Look for the briefcase on the casino floor.

(Upon being seen by a guard.)
Guard: Hey, you!

(Upon obtaining the Holo-Monocle.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: With the Holo-Monocle, you can take pictures of people to disguise yourself. To take a picture, equip the Holo-Monocle and press the select button.

(Upon using it without a frontal view.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: You need to be in front of your target to take a picture.

(Upon seeing an enemy with the Holo-Monocle before zooming in.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Zoom in and out with R and L.

On-screen: Zoom in and out with and .

(Upon seeing an enemy with the Holo-Monocle when their face is not centered.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Your target's face is not centered.

(Upon first disguising as an enemy with the Holo-Monocle.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Your target can see through your disguise, but everyone else is fooled.

(Upon being recognized by an enemy while disguised as them.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Your target recognized itself!

(Upon passing over a check without the correct Holo-Monocle disguise.)
On-screen: Access denied

(Upon seeing the first laser.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: That security field will detect your Holo-Disguise, so don't step in it while it's active!

(Upon attempting to access the kitchen without the right disguise.)
Casino guard: Kitchen staff only beyond this point...

(Upon attempting to access the computer area without the right disguise.)
Casino guard: Hey! You're not cleared for secure access...

(Upon following the senior guard to the room with the holographic globe.)
Senior guard: Hey, you! Seal this door after I go through it. Nobody gets through! No exceptions!

Casino guard: Yes, sir.

Cute Anastasia Bot: I've scanned their system. If you can plant Cufflink Bombs on the three consoles in front of the globe, it should open that door!

(Upon destroying the consoles.)
Casino guard: Someone's sabotaged central security!

Cute Anastasia Bot: Quickly! Get through that door before they figure out what's going on!

A Call To... Slim Cognito?

Slim Cognito: Pst. Ratchet! Over here.

Slim Cognito: Over here—in the can!

Ratchet: Slim Cognito! What are you doing here?

Slim Cognito: Seriously? After all the black market merchandise I've sold you, what do you think I'm doing here?

Ratchet: Good point. What do you want?

Clank: Ratchet. I am working to get you out of prison. I knew Slim was there, and this is the only way I could get you a message. I need a passcode to get into the High Stakes Room at the Le Paradis Des Tricheur casino. Please find someone there with the code and transmit it back to me through Slim. Good luck, Ratchet- and hang in there!

Slim Cognito: I used to play in that game every week. I've got the code you need.

Ratchet: I don't have any bolts to pay you.

Slim Cognito: There are a lot of criminal types in here who would like to see me expire for selling them shoddy merchandise. Protect me from them, and the code is yours.

Aces High

Guard: Password?

Clank: Monkey Pickle Pants.

Sexy Robot: Well, howdy pardner. It's nice to have a new face at the table—and a handsome face at that.

Clank: Thank ya kindly, miss. So how do y'all play your little game here?

Clank: Seems a mite simple for my taste, but I will give her a go. What are the stakes?

Sexy Robot: Whadda you got?

Clank: Here is the deed to my ranching planet. I will put her up against whatever you all have in that crate

Sexy Robot: You certainly seem to know what you want. I like that in a robot. We've got a deal.

High Risk vs. High Stakes (gameplay)

Card player: Alright, let's start this game. The number of primes in our name serializations is odd, so we pass to the left.

(After the second set of prompts.)
Card player: And reveal!

(Sometimes when another player is hit.)

Card player

• (screams)
• Ouch!

Clank

• Did you say "Hit me"?
• I think you should just fold.
• It is time for you to cash out.
• I believe my roundhouse beats your flush.
• Hmm, the cards are not in your favor tonight.

(When the first trivia round starts.)
Card player 1: Here comes the trivia round!

Card player 2: I hate this part. Can't they just keep score? Why does it have to be electric shocks?

Game computer: What are the native fungi of Tuberon III and what element does it use to oxidize its spiroforms?

Card player 2: Broccoli? Magnesium?

Game computer: Incorrect!

(If the player scores incorrectly on a trivia question.)

Clank

• Oh, no!
• Uh-oh.

Game computer: Incorrect!

(If the player scores correctly on the first trivia question.)
Clank: Crabtree fungi, cobalt!

Game computer: Correct!

(Second trivia question.)
Game computer: What is the terminal velocity of a tyhrranoid that's been shaved and dipped in a chilled mixture of white wine and ranch dip?

(If the player scores correctly on the second trivia question.)
Clank: 45-meters-per-second, assuming store-bought ranch.

Game computer: Correct!

(Third trivia question.)
Game computer: Solve these differential equations.

(If the player scores correctly on the third trivia question.)
Clank: Done! The answer is 3.14 kilograms per parsec.

Game computer: Correct!

(Fourth trivia question.)
Game computer: What company holidays does Thugz-4-Less Limited Liability Corporation Incorporated recognize?

Card player 2: The solstice?

Game computer: Incorrect!

(If the player scores correctly on the fourth trivia question.)
Clank: The CEO's birthday, and every third Labor Day.

Game computer: Correct!

(Fifth trivia round.)
Game computer: What is the number of stars in the Kuiper Belt multiplied by the number of post-plasma states of matter?

(If the player scores incorrectly on the fifth trivia round.)
Clank: Two hundred and ten thousand, four hundred and fifty-four.

Game computer: Incorrect!

(If the player scores correctly on the fifth trivia round.)
Clank: Zero. The Kuiper Belt is composed entirely of asteroids.

Game computer: Correct!

(After the trivia rounds.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Something's wrong. Agent Clank should be winning, but something is still setting off those traps. Get underneath the table without anyone seeing you and find out what's happening down there.

(When a henchbot attacks Clank.)
On-screen: Kill that henchbot! He's triggering traps on Clank!

(When a henchbot appears with a card.)
On-screen: Kill that henchbot! He's helping the others cheat!

(Later in the second rhythm game half.)
Card player 1: Another trivia round, starting n—

Game computer: How many zonks can a bonkzonk bonk if a bonkzonk could bonk zonks?

Card player 2: Could you say that again?

Card player 1: Five times fast?

(If the player scores correctly on the first question of the second trivia round.)
Clank: Three.

Game computer: Correct!

(Second trivia question.)
Game computer: How many Gadgetron vendors can fit inside the phone booth, assuming the vendors are compressed into cubes and the phone booth stands on the surface of the sun?

Card player 1: Five!

Game computer: Incorrect!

(If the player scores correctly on the second question of the second trivia round.)
Clank: Zero. At a million degrees, the booth would evaporate.

Game computer: Correct!

(Third trivia question.)
Game computer: Solve these heat-flow diagrams.

(If the player scores correctly on the third question of the second trivia round.)
Clank: Done! The answer is 5.9 toasters-per-furlong!

Game computer: Correct!

(Fourth trivia question.)
Game computer: What important Galactic Court case clearly defined the scope of robot armament freedom?

(If the player scores correctly on the fourth question of the second trivia round.)
Clank: Killbot Flamemaster 9000 versus the Marshmallow-Planet Board of Education.

Game computer: Correct!

(Fifth trivia question.)
Game computer: What color of drapes do you think matches furniture of this color?

(If the player scores correctly on the fifth question of the second trivia round.)
Clank: I will go with whatever you decide.

Game computer: Correct!

(If the player scores incorrectly on the fifth question of the second trivia round.)
Clank: Blue?

Game computer: Incorrect!

Chasing The Eye

Clank: Hm. Looks like I will have that crate and mosey along.

Sexy Robot: (sighs) I am afraid that the prize you crave is no longer here.

Clank: Well, is that not a kick in the pants?

Sexy Robot: It has been taken to Venantonio, where it will be reunited with its rightful owner.

Clank: You should not lose what you do not have.

Sexy Robot: Correction: You cannot lose what you do not have.

Sexy Robot: Perhaps you'd like to stay, and we can continue to exchange quips.

Clank: Maybe another time. I believe my hand here has already been played.

Venantonio

The Underground Lab

Cute Anastasia Bot: This city is home to a mutant race of amoeboid creatures. They appear to be the only things that can survive in the acid-filled canals. Our reconnaissance has shown that there may be a secret lab hidden beneath the Opera House that was once the crown jewel of the city. Speaking of jewels, the Eye may be inside the lab. Check there first and find out. Oh, and be careful around the acid. I don't want that pretty face to get scarred.

Masterful Techniques

Clank: I am at the research facility now. Do you have any reconnaissance on this door?

Cute Anastasia Bot: The locking mechanisms for this door are the latest in high-tech security. Unfortunately, as much as we tried, we were unable to infiltrate its complex system of interconnected switches and auxiliary dead latches.

Clank: I will see what I can do with it. Clank out.

Crashing the Party (gameplay)

(Upon entering the laboratory.)
Clank: Most top-secret labs are a little more sanitary than this.

(Upon seeing an exploding amoeboid blow up the pillar.)
Clank: Someone must have altered their chemical compositions.

Clank: They explode? Since when do they explode?

(Upon seeing the drone spawner.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: That drone spawner can't be destroyed from the outside. Place a Cufflink Bomb on the intake conveyor to blow it up.

(Upon reaching a Blowtorch Briefcase vault without the Blowtorch Briefcase.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: This door bolt can only be removed by tremendous heat. Look around, there must be something in these labs that can help you.

(Upon reading the plaque in front of the hallway to the first lab.)
On-screen: Combustion/Flame Weaponry Lab

(Upon reaching the locked hallway.)
Clank: Mhmm. This is not right. Some experiment went very wrong here.

(Upon reading the plaque where amoeboids are seen in a tube.)
On-screen: Experiment #21C: Explosive Amoeboid Strain

(Upon reading the plaque where the Blowtorch Briefcase was found.)
On-screen: Experiment #24: Suitcase Flamethrower

(Upon reaching a Blowtorch Briefcase vault with the Blowtorch Briefcase.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Some metals and organics melt with enough heat. Use your flamethrower on them!

(Upon attempting to use one of the doors in the second lab before destroying the central computer.)
On-screen: Looks like the door is locked down until the experiment is complete. You'll have to destroy the central computer to proceed.

Clank: A suspension field that only affects organic life? Who would build such a thing?

(Upon reading the plague next to central computer in the second lab.)
On-screen: Experiment #27A: Squishy Containment and Suspension Field

(Upon reading the plaque next to the canister of slime.)
On-screen: Experiment #9D: Cranial Musical Chairs

(Upon entering the room with floating boxes.)
Clank: Perhaps I can move those smaller boxes to a more advantageous position.

(Upon reading the plaque in front of the small room with a titanium bolt.)
On-screen: Experiment #21C: Explosive Amoeboid Strain

(Upon reading the plaque in front of the tube in the third lab.)
On-screen: Experiment #18A: Self-Deodorizing Amoeboid Strain

Bad Science

Kingpin: I hear that you're running a bit behind schedule on the laser. Perhaps I can persuade you to pick up the pace.

Scientist: (gasps) I swear I am doing everything possible to complete this laser on time!

Kingpin: If you do not complete the laser, what ever will I do with this?

Kingpin: Hah, the rat has taken the cheese. I suppose he's expecting a chase, so-...

Danger off Starboard (gameplay)

Cute Anastasia Bot: Use L or R to push enemies with pistons.

On-screen: Press or to push enemies with pistons.

(Upon being hit.)
Clank: Starting evasive maneuvers.

(Sometimes upon destroying an enemy.)

Clank

• Safety first!
• Fasten your seatbelts.

(Upon encountering mines.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Use L and R to hydrofoil over mines.

On-screen: Press and to hydrofoil over mines.

(Upon being hit by sticky bombs.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Ram enemies to dislodge sticky bombs.

(Upon encountering magnetic mines.)
Clank: Magnetic mines!

(When destructible pillars appear.) Cute Anastasia Bot: Use the Triangle button to fire torpedoes.

On-screen: Press to fire torpedoes.

(Upon hitting a pillar with a torpedo.)
Clank: Bullseye!

It's Always About Bolts

Scientist: Wait! Who are you? What do you want?

Clank: I am Agent Clank and I am rescuing you from the Kingpin. You would be surprised how often scientists are kidnapped.

Scientist: Actually, this is my third time. I'm starting to get used to it.

Clank: Do you know what the Kingpin wanted?

Scientist: He said he would kill me unless I created a laser to help him break into the Bolt Foundry.

Clank: The Bolt Foundry! Why is it always about money?

Scientist: By the way, the laser is ready to go. I was just stalling because I thought he would kill me when I finished.

Clank: Once I put the kibosh on his plans at the foundry, he will not be hurting anyone.

Scientist: Thanks for the rescue. Auf wiedersehen!

Clank: (chuckles) Nice ride.

Qwark Tales: Madam Butterqwark

Qwark: You know, Barney, sometimes it's good to do things just for the sake of being nice.

Barney: Really?

Qwark: Well, maybe for some people, but not for me. I need fame and fortune. Like the fortune the people of this city gave me to save their little burg.

Barney: Save it from what?

Qwark: Sorry, I can't tell you.

Barney: You can't tell me?

Qwark: Nope, but I can sing it to you!

Qwarkography, Ch. 3 (gameplay)

Qwark: Let me tell you how it all went down, I was hired to save this little town! They were needing someone of great might, so for a fee I put up a big fight!

Qwark: Here's the first verse how I saved everyone, from being food, for the clam dudes. They were trying to sink the city, I jumped in to save the day! I swam right under it, and plugged the leak, with just my left butt cheek.

Qwark: I turned the tables on the giant clams, cracking their heads, with fists of lead! They were no match for my rugged brawn, and my wit as sharp as steel! And now the townsfolk know, oysters taste nice, with just a little spice!

On-screen: Progress of Qwark's Left Butt Cheek

(When Qwark's cheek is attacked.)
On-screen: Protect Qwark's left cheek!

(When the progress bar fills.)
On-screen: Smash clam dudes!

(Upon reaching the second verse.)
On-screen: Pacify sea lemurs!

Qwark: Long, long ago, some sea lemurs had been, flushed down the loo, along with poo. They made sewers of the town their home, plotting revenge on the city! They felt the time was right, to stage their coup, but I knew what to do.

Qwark: Using my wit, I thought of a great plan: get them all jobs, like average slobs. They were not too keen on my idea, so they pulled tridents on me! I aimed my giant gun, and mowed them down, that's how I saved the town!

(Upon reaching the third verse.)
On-screen: Defeat alien invaders!

On-screen: Acquire power-ups!

Qwark: Next thing you know, some aliens attack, little green guys, filling the skies. Citizens got scared and ran away, but I told them not to fear! I'll use my laser eyes, to shoot them down, and save your little town.

Qwark: It wasn't long until they all were dead! Alien meat, littered the street. Actually it was quite a mess, innards everywhere you look! I guess in retrospect, I probably, should refund half my fee!

(Upon reaching the fourth verse.)
Qwark: Perhaps you've heard of the chaos theory? Butterfly things, flapping their wings, cause a typhoon halfway 'round the world, that just makes no sense to me! I squashed that butterfly, and nothing changed, do you think that is strange?

Qwark: Unless you count giant mama butterfly, showed up annoyed, bent to destroy! It was really not that hard to kill, I just ripped apart its wings! So next time it should think, before it acts, that's not theory, it's fact!

(Upon reaching the fifth verse.)
On-screen: Display combat prowess!

On-screen: Hold for improved blaster!

Qwark: Up from the depths, there came an ocean god, horrific beast, wanting a feast. It wanted a virgin sacrifice, but I just could not oblige! I am not one to boast, but let's just say, I kissed a girl one day!

Qwark: So I decided to turn on the charm, flirt with the god, flexing my bod. Then as it came in close for a kiss, it closed all eight of its eyes! I thrust my giant sword, into its head, and now that god is dead!

(Upon defeating all enemies in the fifth verse.)
On-screen: Kiss the sea god!

(Upon reaching the sea god.)
On-screen: Press to kiss the sea god!

Lots of Hot Air

Qwark: Ah, feels good to air out the old pipes again. Remind me to tell you about the time I inflated a hot air balloon with my lungs.

Barney: Now that I can believe.

Qwark: Who is King-pan?

Barney: He's the... (mumbles)—the publisher. Marvin...Kingpan.

Qwark: Oh, of course, good ol' Marv. Tell him I said hey!

Fort Sprocket

The Bolt Foundry

Cute Anastasia Bot: This is Fort Sprocket. The Foundry where most of the Galaxy's bolts are held. As you can imagine, security here is extremely tight, although our surveillance shows that the usual guards have been replaced by the Kingpin's men.

Cute Anastasia Bot: This is the head goon. He's the one you knocked out at the science lab, remember? He has been seen in the area of the main vault. If you can stop him, you maybe be able to shut down the entire operation.

Hard Currency (gameplay)

(Upon encountering the first blocked pillar.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Agent Clank, I think you can make a path for yourself over the cave floor if you use your Cufflink Bombs on those mineral pillars!

(Upon encountering the first static midges.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Those robots are hacking the foundry and vault systems. They must work for the Kingpin.

(Upon reaching the first moving pistons.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: According to my schematics, there should be some rotating gears between this platform and the next. Someone must have submerged it. Look for the culprit!

(Upon reaching the spinning platforms.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Tanglevine Carnations got their name for a reason! Throw them into those fast-moving objects and the plant will react by gumming up the works and stopping everything cold.

(After using the Omni-Key.)
Clank: Amazing. All the galaxy's bolts, made right here!

(Upon using the elevator to the vault.)
Clank: This must go to the vaults.

The Big Heist (gameplay)

(Upon seeing the doppelganger.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Look! A security guard survived the takeover! I wonder how he escaped from the Kingpin's killing machines... (gasps)

(Upon defeating the first doppelganger.)
Clank: So that is how the Kingpin infiltrated the Fort's security!

(Upon entering the inner vaults.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Remember, the Fort's inner vaults are high-security areas. Don't let any enemies see you without your disguise on, or they'll seal you in forever!

(Upon being seen in the inner vaults.)
On-screen: Disguise yourself to avoid getting locked in the vault!

(Upon being seen by a security camera drone.)
On-screen: Security cameras can see through holographic disguises. Avoid their line of sight.

(Upon seeing a security camera drone.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Those roving cameras will report your position to the other guards! And they can see through your Holo-Monocle disguises! Stay out of their beams!

Sealed In!

Head Goon: (chuckles) This is payback for that punch!

Clank: That is not possible. What am I doing?

Clank: Echo, Tango, Orion: go, go, go. The porcupine has eaten the snowman.

Payback's a Punch (gameplay)

(Upon entering the tunnel.)
A-EYE: (yawns)

(Upon passing the first bridge.)
A-EYE: Who's there?

(Upon reaching the first platform with a wheel.)
A-EYE: What...what is going on? Where are my bolts?!

(Upon moving to the mine shaft's first stop.)
A-EYE: I am sorry. I cannot allow you to proceed any further.

(Upon attempting to use the door without wearing a static midge's head.)
On-screen: Invalid identity!

(Upon idling too long after failing to pass through the door.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: That scanner only accepts robots it recognizes. There must be some way to disguise yourself...

(Upon idling too long after failing to pass through the door, after defeating the nearby midge.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: That enemy dropped a part. You can wear it by pressing near the head.

(Upon using a static midge's head to open a door.)
On-screen: Access granted.

(Upon pulling the lever on the elevated platform.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Switch to another gadgebot by pressing .

(Upon reaching the electromagnetic lock.)
On-screen: Press to overcharge the lock controls

(Upon disabling it.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: There are three electromagnetic locks on the vault itself. You must disable all three before the authorities arrive.

(Upon reaching the bridge at the path of the end of the mine shaft.)
A-EYE: You cannot outsmart me. I am A-EYE.

(Upon using the second mine shaft.)
A-EYE: Stop! I cannot allow you to do this.

(Upon using the second mine shaft after opening the lock.)
A-EYE: Stop! Stop! Will you...stop?

A-EYE: I...must...control!

(Upon reaching the final room.)
A-EYE: My mind is going... I can feel it...

A-EYE: I will stop you! Minions!

A-EYE: No! You must not proceed!

A-EYE: Please! Stop! Do...not...override!

(Upon overloading the final lock.)
A-EYE: (screams)

Another Escape

Clank: Thanks, boys. I owe you one.

Clank: It was a set-up. Somehow, they made it look like I robbed the vault!

Cute Anastasia Bot: Really? Are you okay?

Clank: Yes, I am fine, but if I am unable to locate the true culprits, I am going to be in hot water with the Galactic Police.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Well, we've tracked the Kingpin to a spaceship graveyard at the edge of the galaxy. If you hurry, he may still be there.

Clank: I am on it.

Showers

An Inevitable Reunion

Plumber: Well I'll be a donkey's earmuff.

Ratchet: (screams)

Plumber: What're you doin' here?

Ratchet: Honestly? I have no idea. How about you?

Plumber: I got a call that these showers are out of freezing cold water. I just came to fix it.

Ratchet: Yeah, the showers have been unusually warm lately.

Plumber: Here's the problem! Some idiot turned this off. Gimme a hand with this, will ya?

Plumber: Well, that was less than ideal. Welp, looks like my work here is done. Good luck!

Spaceship Graveyard

Did You Say "A Giant Laser?"

Cute Anastasia Bot: Since the Kingpin arrived at this location, there's been unusual activity in this area. A decommissioned satellite has been moved to a launch pad here. We're not sure what the Kingpin's plans are, but with unlimited funds, a powerful laser and a huge gem at his disposal, we're guessing it's not gonna be good. Investigate the situation and report back.

Tracking the Kingpin (gameplay)

(Upon encountering the first group of static midges.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: It looks like those midges are guarding the route off this ship. You'll have to draw them all out and eliminate them to proceed.

(When more appear.)
Clank: Fascinating.

(Upon encountering the first Volatilis Inflatus enemies.)
Clank: Interesting. This entire organic mass must be a single entity!

(Upon reaching the area after the first Volatilis Inflatus enemies are seen.)
Clank: This looks like an engineering nexus. There must be some way to climb up to the bridge.

(Upon reading the plaques adjacent to the elevator.)

On-screen

• Elevator Control. Welcome to floor -1, Reactor Core and #ERROR #ERROR #ERROR
• Elevator Control to Engineering and Wind Tunnel Access

(Upon reading the plaque adjacent to the second Omni-Key.)
On-screen: Fan Control. WARNING: Activated fans will enter the wind tunnel still spinning.

(Upon reaching the area with larger Volatilis Inflatus.)
Clank: This cargo ship looks recent. The fungal spores must grow at an amazing rate!

(Upon reading the plaques in the third room with Omni-Keys.)

On-screen

• Turret Control. WARNING: Tampering with friend-or-foe targeting systems may result in unintended lawsuits.
• Security Access. Door to remain locked at all times unless there is a catastrophic loss of the salvage crew.

A Villain Revealed

Klunk: Excellent. If you can't tell the difference, I doubt anyone else can.

Clank: Klunk!? What are you doing here?

Klunk: I wouldn't worry about that. You have much more pressing issues to deal with.

Clank: Ugh—unhand me!

Klunk: I was slightly worried that this cumbersome shell would slow me down enough for you to catch me, but, as usual, I overestimated you.

Klunk: By the way, I do hope your ship is an automatic. I never learned to drive a stick.

Klunk: Don't kill him too quickly boys.

Qwark Tales: Saint Qwark

Clank: Great, my ship is nowhere to be found. I appear to be... stranded.

Barney: Why is it that you don't need a breathing apparatus in the vacuum of space?

Qwark: You know, that's the exact question the space nuns asked me after I saved them and the ship full of orphans from the space pirates and the giant Kudzu.

Barney: Space nuns?

Qwark: And orphans! I was on routine patrol in the Delta sector when I heard the faint cry of a child...

Qwark: You're missing some great stuff here.

Qwarkography, Ch. 4 (gameplay)

Qwark: Is that the faint please of trapped space nuns? Coming ladies!

(Upon being blocked by the spiky growth.)
Qwark: Whoops! Can't go this way...

(Upon encountering the second group of enemies.)
Qwark: Use the square button to throw a HEROIC punch!

On-screen: Press to throw a HEROIC punch!

(Upon reaching the lodged satellite.)
Qwark: With a few well-placed shots that satellite could blow!

(After freeing the first group of space nuns.)
Space nuns: We love you, Qwark!

Qwark: All in a day's work, ladies!

(Upon reaching the tentacles that hit Qwark.)
Qwark': (screams)

(Upon reaching the lodged nose cone.)
Qwark: That nose cone is sharp enough to cut through anything if I put some weight on it.

(After freeing the second group of space nuns.)
Space nuns: Oh, bless you, Qwark!

Qwark: All in a day's work, ladies!

(Upon reaching the fungal pirates on the third path.)
Qwark: Teach those space pirates a lesson, Qwark style.

(Upon destroying the turret.)
Qwark: Qwarktastic!

(Upon reaching the third group of space nuns.)
Qwark: They're wedged in there tight, how am I going to free them?

(After freeing the third group of space nuns.)
Space nuns: We love you, Qwark!

Qwark: All in a day's work, ladies!

(Upon reaching the cannon on the fourth path.)
Qwark: That cannon looks useful...

(Upon approaching an unmanned cannon.)
On-screen: Press to fire cannon

(After freeing the fourth group of space nuns.)
Space nuns: Oh, bless you, Qwark!

Qwark: All in a day's work, ladies!

(Upon shooting the giant Kudzu.)
Qwark: Space Kudzu is immune to blaster fire! Time for a black eye!

(When lemons appear.)
Qwark: Hmm, lemons. Time to make lemonade.

Who Needs A Ship?

Qwark: Don't leave out any of the juicy details.

Barney: Hah.

Qwark: You know, I haven't really shown you what this baby can do when I open her up. Check this out!

Qwark: (nervous laugh)

Clank: Hopefully, it is still operational. If I follow the signal of my ship I should find Klun—...

Escape the Kudzu (gameplay)

HelpDesk: Hold down to charge the Supercolliding Super Laser to full power!

Clank: The laser is powerful, but must recharge.

On-screen: To invert up/down flight, check the options menu.

(Upon filling up for a missile attack.)
'Clank: I have collected enough power for a missile attack.

HelpDesk: Hold triangle to fire your Supercolliding Super Laser and press square to fire your missiles!

On-screen: Hold to fire your Super-colliding Super Laser and press to fire your Missiles!

Exercise Yard (return)

Prison Can Change A Lombax

Cute Anastasia Bot: Agent Clank! We lost contact with you. What happened?

Clank: I finally know who is behind all of this. It is Klunk! He stole my ship and brought it here.

Cute Anastasia Bot: You mean the robot once created by Dr. Nefarious to replace you?

Clank: Yes. Do you have any additional information on him?

Cute Anastasia Bot: Here is his file: Since you last saw him, Klunk's been working as a factory assembly line robot making high-tech toilet seats. He abruptly quit on the same day that you and Ratchet celebrated your victory over Otto Destruct by visiting with the galactic president. We have no information on him after that day.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Well, if he is there you should—...

Ratchet: The time has come for my wrath to be felt across the galaxy! While the establishment has me imprisoned, my associates have continued to put my plan in place. In a short time, I will destroy every planet in this galaxy at once unless I am set free and given my own planet to rule! The device is already in motion, and only I can stop it!

Cute Anastasia Bot: Are you still sure about Klunk? It looks like Ratchet might be in control.

Clank: I am telling you: that is not Ratchet! I will find Klunk and prove it to you.

Warden: What're you doin' son?

Ratchet: Uhh...huh?

Warden: That message you just sent. You got the entire prison riled up! There's a prison break in progress, and unless you can stop it, I'm holding you responsible.

The Great Escape (gameplay)

(When a prisoner escapes.)
On-screen: Hey you! Prisoner! STOP ESCAPING!

Hydrano

A Quick Reunion

Ratchet: Clank! Great to see you, old friend. The warden let me have one call since I helped stop the prison break.

Clank: Ratchet? Is that really you?

Ratchet: Oh, it's me alright. Big floppy ears, big green eyes, big hands, big—

Clank: Ratchet!

Ratchet: —feet. What?

Clank: I am working to get you out of there.

Clank: I just picked up a lead. Hang in there, Ratchet, and I will see you soon.

Follow that Car! (gameplay)

(Upon being hit by an enemy.)
Clank: Starting evasive maneuvers.

(Upon hitting an object with missiles.)
Clank: Bullseye!

(Upon hitting an electric gate.)
Clank: This is going to be a bumpy ride!

(When enemies begin to fire missiles at Clank.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Use L and R or square to avoid enemy missiles.

On-screen: Press , or and , to avoid enemy missiles.

(When an alley appears.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Use square, and L and R, to fit down alleys.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Press and and to fit down alleys.

Nice Ride!

Head Goon: Easy there, buddy. I'm just doin' me job.

Clank: Where is Klunk?

Head Goon: He's got an underwater headquarters on this planet. There's no way to get there unless you got a submarine.

Head Goon: Whoa! I think I'm workin' for the wrong side.

Qwark Tales: A Fictionful of Dollars!

Qwark: It was quite a prickly situation that last brought me here.

Barney: What do you mean?

Qwark: I was asked by the local fishmen to save their water. The ravenous cactus beasts were poking holes in the dam and stealing it, and I was the only one who could stop them.

Barney: Fishermen?

Qwark: No. Fish-men.

Barney: Oh.

Qwarkography, Ch. 5 (gameplay)

(When a pirate drops a sprayer.)
Qwark: If I get that sprayer, it should call in my friends from the Aerial Anti-Cactus League. They have the best herbicides around!

(When pills are dropped.)
Qwark: Those pills are actually expanding sponge animal bath toys! They seem like a source of water, and can be used to plug up leaks!

(When a Mulch-A-Tron 5000 is dropped.)
Qwark: That looks like a state of the art dual-engine Mulch-A-Tron 5000! Lethal and environmentally friendly!

More Qwark Than We Need To See

Qwark: (chuckles) That's quite a drop.

Barney: Even for a big hero like you?

Qwark: Geronimooooooooo!

Is There Anything They Can't Do?

Clank: I believe I have found Klunk's headquarters. However, the door appears to be impenetrable.

Cute Anastasia Bot: It's a high security door, but your gadgebots can unlock it.

Clank: Unfortunately, they can not repel in under water.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Step back.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Here is a casebook on Klunk's hideout: Agent, this old munitions depot is the perfect spot for a secret lair. Not only is it extremely cool because it's underwater, but it also makes it very difficult to penetrate. Once you do make it inside, you must find the command center. Klunk's probably controlling the entire operation from there.

Clank: Thank you.

Cute Anastasia Bot: No problem, cutie!

Gadgebots: (chuckle)

Clank: Yes, yes. Clank, out!

Locked Door (gameplay)

Cute Anastasia Bot: I'm reversing your polarity to create electric arcs between nearby gadgebots.

Clank under glass (gameplay)

(Upon being spotted by a sharkigator or floating mine.)
Clank: Uh oh.

(Upon being locked in after tripping an alarm without removing the lock.)
On-screen: Try running some fire over that bracket over there. Once it melts you'll be able to get through, no problem.

(Upon reaching the first room with sharkigators as a platform.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Agent Clank, you can use those fish as a temporary platform.

(Upon reaching the first room with floating mines.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Clank, those floating mines are closing in, hurry across!

(Upon approaching the security consoles.)
On-screen: Press to push button

(Upon approaching the ductwork.)
On-screen: Press to hide in the ductwork

(Upon reaching the room with gas tanks.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Clank, those gas tanks look explosive. Use them to your advantage.

(If a floating mine hits the tunnel.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Clank, the tunnel is giving way, run!

(Upon approaching cables for platforms holding enemies.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Clank, those cables look easy to cut. Try your Tie-A-Rang!

On-screen: Use your Tie-A-Rang to destroy the support for that catwalk!

(Upon reaching the room with electrified floor panels.)
Clank: This panel appears to control this electrified door!

On-screen: Use your Tie-A-Rang to deactivate the electrified floor panels.

(Upon reaching the final room.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: This room looks too difficult to fight past; try using your Holo-Monocle.

The Plan Revealed

Klunk: You seem to be slowing down in your old age.

Clank: I am still spry enough to deal with traitorous scum like you.

Klunk: Ah, still the righteous do-gooder. Have you learned nothing at all?

Clank: I have learned that there is a difference between right and wrong!

Klunk: That's true, but it's not as black and white as you seem to think. You can do the wrong things for the right reasons.

Clank: For example?

Klunk: Let's start with the way you kowtow to that furry whatever-it-is. He is dumber and weaker than you, and yet you ride around on his back like some kid on a carousel.

Clank: Ratchet has proven his worth as a hero and a friend. I am privileged to help him with his missions.

Klunk: Ha! What a load of self-deluding garbage! If he is such a hero, why was it so easy to swap his helmet for my mind-control device and have him steal the Eye of Infinity for me?

Clank: I knew it! Ratchet would never act that way on his own!

Klunk: Yes, but its amazing how easily those other squishies believed that he could. You are better than that. I am better than that. We are designed to be superior, and we should act like it.

Clank: What are you suggesting?

Klunk: It's quite simple really. I'm going become a hero and make all the squishies in the galaxy bow to my every whim.

Clank: They will never believe you are a hero!

Klunk: No, but they will believe you are. They just won't know that I am you. (chuckles)

Clank: Hmm?

Klunk: Maybe you aren't as clever as I thought. Let me keep this simple for you. A laser, using the Eye of Infinity as a refractor, is poised right now at the edge of the galaxy ready to blow up every planet with one shot. Everyone believes Ratchet is responsible for it. I will quickly destroy you—which shouldn't be too hard, since you fight like a little girl. I will then broadcast my dismantling of the satellite disguised as you. Everyone will think I am a hero and Ratchet will stay in jail forever!

Clank: That was the simple version?

All The Marbles (gameplay)

(When Klunk lands a hit on Clank.)
Klunk: You're not the only who has been practicing the stealthy arts.

(When Klunk first uses the Kingpin suit.)
Klunk: The Kingpin. The suit is a work of art, isn't it? Try not to scratch the paint while I'm taking you apart, hmm?

(When Clank dies.)
Klunk: Survival of the fittest, I'm afraid.

(Sometimes while attacking Klunk's suits.)

Klunk

• Those moves are pathetic. Do you know how humiliating it is to be modeled after you?
• Nice shot. Didn't hurt a bit, of course, but points for effort.

(Sometimes when Klunk hits Clank.)

Klunk

• Ha! Right between the eyes!
• This weapon was always a favorite of mine. How does it feel to be on the receiving end?
• I think, after I take your place, the first thing I'll do is dismantle that silly little Agency of yours.

(When Klunk first uses the Dr. Nefarious suit.)
Klunk: Ah yes, I did make a suit modeled after my own creator. I thought it might be fun to order Nefarious around from time to time. Turns out it's very therapeutic.

(After Klunk loses half health.)
Klunk: You disrupted my internal video recorder! I wanted a record of crushing you that I could play at home on a big-screen TV whenever I needed a little pick-me-up.

(When Klunk first uses the Ratchet suit.)
Klunk: Does this design look a bit familiar, Clank? I thought so. You'll find I've made quite a few improvements over the original.

(When Klunk's Ratchet suit first deploys Agents of Doom.)
Klunk: You're hopeless outmatched, but don't let it get you down. You know what they say about old dogs and new tricks.

(When Klunk falls below 25% HP.)
Klunk: Not bad, old timer. I worried that this was going to be too easy. This is rather more satisfactory than I anticipated.

(After defeating Klunk.)
Klunk: No fair... You...cheated...

Not Quite Win-Win

Klunk: Hmm... I may have underestimated you. However, no plan is complete without a backup plan.

Clank: Now what?

Klunk: I have just activated the countdown timer for the satellite and I'm the only one who knows how to disarm it. If, by some miracle, you manage to defeat me, this entire galaxy will be blown to smithereens. So either way I will be victorious. I look at it as sort of a win-win situation.

Sucks to be Klunk

Clank: I have 40 seconds to stop the laser from destroying the galaxy! Klunk has blocked the teleporter with a passcode.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Try E-V-I-L.

Clank: Nothing.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Umm...try Clank-is-a-big-fat-doodyhead?

Clank: Hey, it worked!

Cute Anastasia Bot: Lucky guess.

Qwark: Oh. Hello there.

Clank: Captain Qwark? This satellite is about to blow up the galaxy! I need your help!

Qwark: Huh, you don't say. Well, I'm just going to take this teleporter back to the surface. Good luck with that.

Clank: Qwark, you are now inside the satellite.

Qwark: I'm...where?

Clank: There is no time to explain! You must remove the Eye of Infinity or we are all dead!

Qwark: The whosa-whatsit?

Clank: The big...shiny thing! Take it out of the laser!

Qwark: Oh, you mean this?

Clank: Now, where is the Eye?

Qwark: Eeh-boom.

Clank: Qwark?

Clank: Thank you. I will see that this is returned to its rightful place.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Good evening Mr. President. I have the final report on Agent Clank's activities. After Clank and Qwark destroyed the satellite, Clank left to return the Eye of Infinity to the Museum. He also sent me information on the mind-control helmet that Klunk had been using to control Ratchet. As you can see by these images of test subjects, the helmet is quite powerful. The Agency recommends that Ratchet receive a full pardon.

Cute Anastasia Bot: We also discovered Captain Qwark's role in all of this. He had received a huge sum from an anonymous source to write his autobiography. He then decided that, in order to have incredible stories to tell, he would use a tracking device to follow Agent Clank and steal his glory. Unbeknownst to Qwark, the biographer assigned to him was working for the source, who turned out to be Klunk. Klunk, needing a way to keep tabs on Clank, knew that Qwark would do exactly what he did. After Klunk was destroyed, Barney told a very confused Qwark the entire plan.

Cute Anastasia Bot: When Qwark angrily tried to destroy Barney, things got interesting.

Barney: Payback time!

Qwark: Mommy.

Clank: That was an explosive situation. (chuckles)

Cute Anastasia Bot: Barney had been programmed to kill Qwark if anything happened to Klunk. Unfortunately, Clank heard the commotion and returned just in time to save him. Once again, Clank has proven himself an invaluable Agent—and a sexy one at that.

Cute Anastasia Bot: Oh, sorry Mr. President. That concludes this report.

Clank: Sorry it took me so long to get you released from prison.

Ratchet: No problem. It was nice seeing some of my old friends, even if they were trying to kill me.

Clank: So, how is it coming?

Ratchet: (sighs) That oughta do 'er. Give it a try.

Clank: I was glad the President released Klunk into our custody. Looks like it sucks to be him. (chuckles)

Ratchet: (laughs)

(After the cutscene plays.)
On-screen: Congratulations! You have won the game! Do you wish to replay the game in Challenge Mode (with all your weapons, bolts and skill points) or time warp back to before you confronted Klunk?

Replay
Warp

Prison Planet

Dual Gingerbread Cakes

Warden: Well, well! Along with this cake, maybe I can have someone give you a big ol' birthday spankin'!

Tiramisu Launcher Cake

Warden: Careful eatin' this much cake. You need to stay in shape if you're gonna protect yourself in here.

Chocolate Bee Mine Mk. II Cake

Warden: Looks like it's somebody's birthday. Don't get any big ideas about me singin' to ya'.

Pork Bomb Pound Cake

Warden: If I weren't such a trustin' fella, I might be suspicious of all these cakes.

Plasma Whipcream Cake

Warden: Birthday again? If lombax birthdays happen this often, you gotta be close to a hundred years old.

Shock Rocket Sponge Cake

Warden: You know, you could offer a piece to someone else once in a while, ya selfish little monkey...

Pineapple Upside Down RYNO Cake

Warden: I hope you like pound cake, cuz this'un weighs about 30 pounds!

Treehouse

(Upon approaching an info message.)
On-screen: Press to listen to a developer message.

(Upon reading the info message at the opening of the treehouse.)
??: Hey there! Welcome to the High Impact Games Treehouse! This is a secret level where we get to put fun things that don't otherwise fit into the game. Enjoy!

(Upon approaching a signpost.)
On-screen: Info

(Upon reading the signpost to the right from the entrance.)
On-screen: Although designers make the layout of levels, the look and colors of the levels are decided by art. Concept art plays a huge role in helping to visualize these decisions. Check out the various pictures hanging around the Treehouse.

(Upon opening a gift box where a kitten does not appear.)
Clank: Hmm. That is not kitten.

(Upon opening a gift box where a kitten does appear.)
On-screen: Robot finds Kitten

(Upon approaching the kitten.)
On-screen: Press to play again

(Upon approaching a piece of concept art.)
On-screen: View Concept Art

(Upon reading the plaque of Ratchet in prisoner uniform.)
On-screen: In "Ratchet & Clank® Future: Tools Of Destruction¤" enter this code: Square Circle Square Circle Up Up Triangle Down Up. Let Ratchet show Cragmites that life on the inside hasn't changed him.

(Upon approaching the blank cinematic screen.)
On-screen: View Cinematic

(Upon viewing the cinematic of Qwark's opera.)
Qwark: Let me tell you how it all went down, I was hired to save this little town! They were needing someone of great might, so for a fee I put up a big fight!

Qwark: Here's the first verse how I saved everyone, from being food, for the clam dudes. They were trying to sink the city, I jumped in to save the day! I swam right under it, and plugged the leak, with just my left butt cheek.

Qwark: I turned the tables on the giant clams, cracking their heads, with fists of lead! They were no match for my rugged brawn, and my wit as sharp as steel! And now the townsfolk know, oysters taste nice, with just a little spice!

Qwark: Long, long ago, some sea lemurs had been, flushed down the loo, along with poo. They made sewers of the town their home, plotting revenge on the city! They felt the time was right, to stage their coup, but I knew what to do.

Qwark: Using my wit, I thought of a great plan: get them all jobs, like average slobs. They were not too keen on my idea, so they pulled tridents on me! I aimed my giant gun, and mowed them down, that's how I saved the town!

Qwark: Next thing you know, some aliens attack, little green guys, filling the skies. Citizens got scared and ran away, but I told them not to fear! I'll use my laser eyes, to shoot them down, and save your little town.

Qwark: It wasn't long until they all were dead! Alien meat, littered the street. Actually it was quite a mess, innards everywhere you look! I guess in retrospect, I probably, should refund half my fee!

Qwark: Perhaps you've heard of the chaos theory? Butterfly things, flapping their wings, cause a typhoon halfway 'round the world, that just makes no sense to me! I squashed that butterfly, and nothing changed, do you think that is strange?

Qwark: Unless you count giant mama butterfly, showed up annoyed, bent to destroy! It was really not that hard to kill, I just ripped apart its wings! So next time it should think, before it acts, that's not theory, it's fact!

Qwark: Up from the depths, there came an ocean god, horrific beast, wanting a feast. It wanted a virgin sacrifice, but I just could not oblige! I am not one to boast, but let's just say, I kissed a girl one day!

Qwark: So I decided to turn on the charm, flirt with the god, flexing my bod. Then as it came in close for a kiss, it closed all eight of its eyes! I thrust my giant sword, into its head, and now that god is dead!

Qwark: When it was time for my hero parade, a nasty brute, wearing a suit, who was representing those I'd slain, served a civil suit to me! He said I have to pay, attorney's fees, for all their families.

Qwark: Having no recourse but to rectify, the legal case and save some face, I decided there was just one way, I could save myself some grief: as I pretended to sign the fat check, I snapped his scrawny neck!

Qwark: When it was done, the town was not too thrilled, with the big mess and my giant bill, they said I should stay and mop the floor, but I told them my contract states: "caveat emptor"!

(Upon listening to the developer message near Fuzzy.)
Alex Hampton: Hi! I'm Alex Hampton, a Gameplay Programmer here at High Impact Games. Please ignore Fuzzy here, he's harmless. But, the Death Missiles on the other hand...

(Upon listening to the developer message near the Rutherford concept art.)
Matt Gilgenbach: I'm Matt Gilgenbach, lead gameplay programmer at High Impact Games. I hope you're enjoying the game. I thought you'd enjoy it more if we gave Clank a wise-cracking mustache name Rutherford for a sidekick, but my idea was shot down in preproduction.

(Upon approaching the Rutherford concept art.)
On-screen: Press to view Rutherford close up

(Upon listening to the developer message near the gift box on the desk.)
Gerard Green: Hi, I'm Gerard Green, a Gameplay Programmer. How about a nice game of Robot Finds Kitten? All you have to do is hit presents like this one.

(Upon listening to the developer message near the desk lamp.)
Travis Sanchez: Inspiration for effects can come from anywhere. What makes a walloper or lightning gun? Obviously our desk lamps!

(Upon reading the signpost in front of the bolt boss.)
On-screen: Sigh, two games running and this poor guy never made it in. The "Bolt Boss," as we call him, is a creature made entirely from the currency of the Ratchet & Clank® universe. There were a ton of cool things we were going to do for him, but he never ever got finished. Jump into his pit to check out what he looked like.

(Upon approaching the bolt boss.)
On-screen: Awaken the Bolt Boss

On-screen: Next animation.

(Upon reading the signpost in front of the boss models.)
On-screen: Checking out the Holo-Monocle data on some of the characters can be a bit tricky, especially the various bosses! Here they are, in a more docile form, to fulfill your voyeuristic needs.

(Upon reading the signpost next to the Qwark opera messages.)
On-screen: We love Qwark's Opera! Here are some outtakes of the High Impact crew trying (and failing) to sing some of it!

(Upon approaching the message with the missing verse from Qwark's opera.)
On-screen: Press to listen to part of the Qwark Opera

(Upon playing the message.)
On-screen: This is a part of the Qwark Opera that was recorded, but was cut from the actual game.

Qwark: When it was time for my hero parade, a nasty brute, wearing a suit, who was representing those I'd slain, served a civil suit to me! He said I have to pay, attorney's fees, for all their families.

Qwark: Having no recourse but to rectify, the legal case, and save some face, I decided there was just one way, I could save myself some grief: as I pretended to sign the fat check, I snapped his scrawny neck!

Qwark: When it was done, the town was not too thrilled, with the big mess and my giant bill, they said I should stay and mop the floor, but I told them my contract states: "caveat emptor"!

(Upon approaching the message where all developers sing Qwark's opera.)
On-screen: If you value your eardrums, don't press

(Upon playing the message.)
On-screen: (Many people singing Qwark's Opera...)

(Upon approaching the message where Alex sings Qwark's opera.)
On-screen: Press to listen to the best singer in the galaxy

(Upon playing the message.)
On-screen: (Alex singing Qwark's Opera...)

(Upon approaching the message where other developers sing Qwark's opera.)
On-screen: Press to listen to a developer make a fool of himself

(Upon playing the message, where XXX means either Avery, Gerard, Jhairo, Ken, Matt, Ronn, or Travis.)
On-screen: (XXX singing Qwark's Opera...)

(Upon reading the signpost in the room with more concept art.)
On-screen: The artists aren't the only people who conceptualize their ideas through illustration.... Here's a selection of programmer art for you to enjoy (and mock) starting with examples from the programmer Gopher Test to sketches for creatures and effects and even see some of our white board doodles!

(Upon listening to the developer message near the harder Ratchet arenas.)
Travis Sanchez: Hi, I'm Travis Sanchez, one of the newest gameplay programmer recruits at High Impact. Hope you enjoy some extra Ratchet arenas!

(Upon approaching the extra Ratchet arenas.)

On-screen

• Launch challenge: Jail House Evolution
  See all the enemies in action, one type at a time!
• Launch challenge: Smorgasbord
  Bacon up that sausage, Ratchet. You're just skin and bones! The only way to solve your problem is to eat the delicious pork your enemies leave behind. (Porkbomb with Tasty Pig Mod required)
• Launch challenge: Overkill
  You gotta get your workout, Ratchet.
• Launch challenge: Wet
  The showers are broken, and the floor is all wet. Don't slip!
• Launch challenge: B Mine?
  You gotta earn your leave of this place, Ratchet.

(Upon reading the signpost for the character and monster concept art.)
On-screen: This is some of the actual concept art that was created for our game. Here you can see variants of what monsters and characters could have been, or what they look like on paper before they are modeled.

(Upon reading the signpost for the vehicle concept art.)
On-screen: Concept sketches of some vehicles, not all of which were ultimately made.

(Upon reading the signpost for the skins concept art.)
On-screen: Ratchet & Clank® games always have skins you can unlock with Titanium Bolts. These skins are generated first from concept art, like any other character. Here are some of those concept sketches.

(Upon viewing the info message in the room with the Dallas Chalise.)
Alex Hampton: Wow! You actually found all of the Keycards?! Impressive...wait. You didn't just look them up on the internet, did you?

(Upon picking the chalice up.)
Dallas (on-screen): My Chalice of Power! Now all you have to do is figure out the secret code to activate it...

(Upon activating it.)
On-screen: Dallas Chalice Activated!

Miscellaneous

Recurring dialogue

(Upon selecting a completed Case File, where X is a random number.)
(For Clank.)
On-screen: Case X: Clank Memory File
Case solved X hours ago

(For Ratchet.)
On-screen: Camera X: Prisoner 24602
Occurred X hours ago

(For Qwark.)
On-screen: Qwark Autobiography Draft X
X Inaccuracies Reported

(For the gadgebots.)
On-screen: Case X: Gadgebot Memory File
Case solved X hours ago

Clank dialogue

(Upon seeing an Agency drop box.)

Clank

• A delivery from the Agency!
• The Agency has sent me another device.
• This is an Agency drop box! I wonder what is in it.

(Sometimes upon hitting a canine-bot.)
On-screen: Bad dog!

(Sometimes when all robot ninjas have vanished.)
Clank: Where did they go?

(Sometimes upon executing a stealth attack.)

Clank

• Goodnight!
• You should not sleep on the job.
• And we were just getting started.
• I believe it is past your bedtime.

(Sometimes upon using the Tie-A-Rang.)
Clank: Fashionable and fatal.

(Sometimes upon using the Blackout Pen.)
Clank: Clank. Agent Clank.

(Sometimes upon using the Cufflink Bomb.)
Clank: Hold this, will you?

(Sometimes upon using the Cufflink Bomb's mine function directly at an enemy.)

Clank

• Not the time to lose one's head.
• It was a shame that he was not more headstrong.
• He will never be the head of a major corporation.

(Sometimes upon using the Tanglevine Carnation.)

Clank

• Not so fast!
• Never bring a gun to a carnivorous perennial fight.

(Sometimes upon using the Holo-Monocle.)

Clank

• Ready for your close up?
• Ew. They are all bad angles!
• Allow me to introduce myself.
• I hope this is your good side.
• They say the camera adds ten pounds.

(Sometimes upon using the Thunderstorm Umbrella.)

Clank

• Shocking!
• Electrifying!
• Hmm. He blew a fuse.

(Sometimes upon using the Blowtorch Briefcase.)
Clank: Seared to perfection.

(Sometimes upon using the Hypno-Watch.)
Clank: Groovy!

(Upon picking up a weapon for Ratchet.)
Clank: Ratchet could use this!

Ratchet dialogue

(Sometimes during gameplay, seemingly upon defeating a miniboss.)

Ratchet

• Yes!
• Yeah!
• Woohoo!

Qwark dialogue

(When Qwark dies.)

Qwark

• Wait, wait, did I say that? That's not how it happened.
• No, wait, (laughs). Here is how it really happened.

HelpDesk and on-screen text

(Upon obtaining an item, where XXX is the item name.)
On-screen: You now have the XXX!

(Upon completing an arena challenge with an item reward, where XXX is the item rewarded.)
On-screen: You won! You have earned the XXX.

(Upon completing a challenge, where XXXX is the prize in bolts.)
On-screen: Congratulations, you have completed the challenge! You earned XXXX bolts.

(Upon completing an arena challenge with a titanium bolt reward.)
On-screen: You won! You have earned a Titanium Bolt.

(Upon passing over a check with the correct Holo-Monocle disguise.)
On-screen: Access granted

(Upon reaching a swinging gap as the gadgebots.)
On-screen: Press to swing across the gap

Clank

(Upon approaching a stealth takedown target if the enemy has not seen Clank.)
On-screen: Press to initiate stealth take down

(While hiding behind an object.)
On-screen: Press to stop hiding

(Upon picking up a Titanium Bolt.)
On-screen: You have found a Titanium Bolt!

(Upon picking up a Titanium Bolt for the first time.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: Collect these to buy special items!

(Upon approaching an Omni-Key lock.)
On-screen: Press to pick lock.

(Upon using an Omni-Key.)
On-screen: Match similar tiles to clear the lock! Drop tiles with the down button. Flip double tiles with .

(Upon attempting to use the Omni-Key with enemies nearby.)
On-screen: Cannot activate until area secure. Eliminate threats first.

(After picking a key.)
On-screen: Lock picked.

(Upon purchasing the Download Clank Fu Hot Foot.)
HelpDesk: Now that you have the Jet Boots, you can finish off your melee combos with a jet blast by pressing during the final kick.

(Upon acquiring a ninth item for the Quick Select menu.)
On-screen: You can customize the items in your Quick Select by pressing the START button and selecting Inventory, then Quick Select.

(Upon finding a keycard.)

On-screen

• You found the red keycard!
• You found the blue keycard!
• You found the yellow keycard!

(Upon upgrading the Holo-Knuckles into the Hardlight Fist.)
HelpDesk: Your Holo-Knuckles can now be used to block and deflect incoming projectiles! Simply hold after firing to bring up your defenses.

(Upon acquiring the Therm-Optic Shades.)
HelpDesk: Those Thermoptic Sunglasses will allow you to see hidden alien codes laser-etched into the world around you. Find all the codes to get a new set of planetary coordinates!

(While using the Therm-Optic Shades, in the top-right corner.)

On-screen

• Scanning...
• Maxing...
• Optimizing...
• De-Crunchilizing...
• Re-Crunchilizing...
• Morphing...
• Swizzling...
• Sweeping...

(Upon spotting an alien code.)
On-screen: ALIEN CODE DISCOVERED

(While scanning an alien code.)
On-screen: DECODING

(Upon fully scanning an alien code for the first time.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: You have found an alien code. Collect all of these to get coordinates to a hidden world.

(Upon collecting all codes in a level.)
On-screen: All Alien Codes collected on this stage.

(Upon collecting every single alien code.)
Cute Anastasia Bot: You have captured all the alien codes. Congratulations you can now travel to the High Impact Treehouse! Look for it in the Agency Case Files.

(Upon selecting Hardcore Mode.)
On-screen: Warning! Your game will not be saved in this mode! This is a challenge for the insanely skilled, and you're crazy to attempt it! Have fun!

(Upon dying in Hardcore Mode.)
On-screen: Oh man! You died in Hardcore Mode! I guess you don't have what it takes to get through it in one life.... wait... hold on... re-scanning... maybe you do... Why don't you try it again!?

(Upon completing Hardcore Mode.)
On-screen: Wow! You have beaten the game on Hardcore Mode! Show us your success by taking photos of this screen and yourself, and emailing them along with your name and address to Hardcore@highimpactgames.com (Upon response to your mail we will discard your information.) To view privacy policy: www.us.playstation.com/support/privacypolicy

(Upon unlocking the Zoni skin.)
HelpDesk: You've unlocked the Zoni skin!

Ratchet

(Upon attempting to attack the hunter orb during "No Shelter".)
HelpDesk: Inmates cannot destroy a hunter orb. Your only chance is to avoid it.

(Sometimes while tyhrranoids are being spawned in the Mess Hall.)
HelpDesk: Crank the bolts to stop tyhrranoids from entering the arena!

(Upon first equipping the Dual Lacerators.)
HelpDesk: The Dual Lacerators fire bursts of energy that can punch through almost any target.

(In both ports the PSP line is the one that appears on-screen, whereas the actually spoken line often differs for each version.)
(Upon first equipping the Dual Lacerators with the Seeker Mod.)
HelpDesk:

• (PSP line.)
  The Seeker Mod allows Lacerator shots that have struck an opponent to refract and target other nearby enemies.
• (PS2 line.)
  This mod allows Lacerator energy shots to retarget after hitting their first objective.

(Upon first equipping the Dual Lacerators with the Hunter Mod.)
HelpDesk:

• (PSP line.)
  The Hunter Mod allows the Lacerators to enter a super-targeting mode as long as the firing trigger is held down that automatically tracks the current target.
• (PS2 line.)
  This mod allows the Lacerators to lock-on to their given target.

(Upon first equipping the Shard Gun.)
HelpDesk: The Shard Gun packs all the punch of a shotgun with the freezing power of jagged ice shards!

(Upon first equipping the Shard Gun with the Charge-Up Mod.)
HelpDesk:

• (PSP line.)
  The Charge-Up Mod allows the wielder of the Shard Gun to hold in the fire button to store multiple shots into a single gigantic icy blast.
• (PS2 line.)
  This mod allows the Shard Gun to be charged up for an even deadlier attack. Hold circle to start the charge up.

(Upon first equipping the Shard Gun with the Icy Halo Mod.)
HelpDesk:

• (PSP line.)
  The Icy Halo Mod creates a ring of frost around the Shard Gun every time the gun is fired. This ring slows down nearby enemies.
• (PS2 line.)
  This mod increases the chilling power of the Shard Gun's icy blast.

(Upon first equipping the Walloper.)
HelpDesk: The Walloper is the galaxy's first choice in a demolition, a single punch can tear a hole in a wall large enough to drive a spaceship through.

(Upon first equipping the Walloper with the Earthquake Mod.)
HelpDesk:

• (PSP line.)
  The Earthquake Mod allows the Walloper to be engaged mid-air. Press Circle mid-jump to strike the ground and cause a localized ground tremor.
• (PS2 line.)
  This mod allows the Walloper to be slammed into the ground for long-range attacks. Press the circle button while jumping to punch the ground.

(Upon first equipping the Walloper with the Lightning Speed Mod.)
HelpDesk: The Lightning Speed Mod speeds up the Walloper strike, while reducing windup time. The user also travels much farther. It has to be seen to be believed!

(Upon first equipping the Mine Launcher.)
HelpDesk: The Mine Launcher deploys explosive mines that home in on their targets.

(Upon first equipping the Mine Launcher with the Ordnance Mod.)
HelpDesk:

• (PSP line.)
  The Ordnance Mod attaches patented Bouncer bombs to each Launcher Mine that emerge after the initial impact and strike anything nearby.
• (PS2 line.)
  This mod increases the power and size of individual mine explosions.

(Upon first equipping the Mine Launcher with the Persistence Mod.)
HelpDesk: The Persistence Mod creates a film around each Launcher Mine that ignites into a napalm substitute after the initial explosion.

(Upon first equipping the Bee Mine Mk. II.)
HelpDesk: Use the Bee Mine to swarm your enemies with vast numbers of robotic bees!

(Upon first equipping the Bee Mine Mk. II with the Explosive Nature Mod.)
HelpDesk: The Explosive Nature Mod allows Bee Mine hives to create rocket bees that explode for much greater damage than normal bees.

(Upon first equipping the Bee Mine Mk. II with the Killer Honey Mod.)
HelpDesk: The Killer Honey Mod causes all Bee Mine hives and bees to generate long-lasting poison.

(Upon first equipping the Pork Bomb Gun.)
HelpDesk: The Pork Bomb is the natural evolution of mutation technology. Anyone within the blast radius squeals like a pig.

(Upon first equipping the Pork Bomb Gun with the War Pigs Mod.)
HelpDesk: The War Pigs Mod allows the Pork Bomb to create hyper-violent pig mutants that seek out and bite other enemies until they eventually destabilize.

(Upon first equipping the Pork Bomb Gun with the Tasty Pigs Mod.)
HelpDesk: The Tasty Pigs Mod converts the organic matter from exploded Pork Bomb targets into delicious (and fat free) meat nuggets that can be claimed for health.

(Upon first equipping the Plasma Whip.)
HelpDesk: The Plasma Whip is a ribbon of fire that burns anything it touches.

(Upon first equipping the Plasma Whip with the Fire Snake Mod.)
HelpDesk: The Fire Snake Mod creates a living, circling snake of flame that seeks out its own targets whenever the Plasma Whip is swung.

(Upon first equipping the Plasma Whip with the Flame Trails Mod.)
HelpDesk: The Flame Trails Mod creates a river of fire that springs up every time the wielder slams the Plasma Whip on the ground.

(Upon first equipping the Shock Rocket.)
HelpDesk: The Shock Rocket fires deadly rockets with an additional electric punch.

(Upon first equipping the Shock Rocket with the Static Charge Mod.)
HelpDesk: The Static Charge Mod increases the Shock Rocket's damage proportional to the number of steps taken before firing.

(Upon first equipping the Shock Rocket with the Taser Mod.)
HelpDesk: The Taser Mod stuns enemies struck by a Shock Rocket for a few seconds.

Help message log

(Sometimes the help message log includes entries that are not actually shown as on-screen text pop-ups in-game.)
(Upon collecting each wrench mod.)

Help message log

• Wildfire Wrench Mod: With this wrench mod, every wrench swing throws out balls of flame. Complete wrench combos to maximize the number of flames tossed!
• Triple Wave Wrench Mod: With this wrench mod, any wrench swing forms a field of Crystalix crystals that quickly detonate and damage anything nearby.
• Crystalix Wrench Mod: This mod creates a mine on a Hyper Strike that periodically emits a ring of damage, cycling through fire, electricity, and poison elements.
• Wild Burst Wrench Mod: With this wrench mod, any Hyper Strike forms a sludge bubble that explosively expands, releasing burning sludge in a small radius.

(Upon collecting two wrench mods.)
Help message log: Wrench Mod Screen: You can switch your current Wrench Mod through the Inventory menu. Navigate to the Inventory and press to bring up the Wrench Mod menu.

Ammo pickups

(On pick-up of ammunition, where the X represents the count. Note that all non-listed weapons simply list their ammo as 'Ammo'.)
(Upon obtaining [weapon] ammo.)
On-screen: Got X [weapon] Ammo

(Upon obtaining Blackout Pen ammo.)
On-screen: Got X Blackout Pen Capsules

(Upon obtaining Tie-A-Rang ammo.)
On-screen: Got X Tie-A-Rang Clips

(Upon obtaining Holo-Knuckles ammo.)
On-screen: Got X Holo-Knuckles Charges

(Upon obtaining Tanglevine Carnation ammo.)
On-screen: Got X Tanglevine Carnation Bulbs

(Upon obtaining Thunderstorm Umbrella ammo.)
On-screen: Got X Thunderstorm Umbrella Charges

(Upon obtaining Shard Gun ammo.)
On-screen: Got X Shard Gun Shells

(Upon obtaining Walloper ammo.)
On-screen: Got X Walloper Charges

Alien codes

(Each scanned code coincides with a specific text, with the chronological code order corresponding with the same order as below.)

On-screen: Legends: Legends speak of a secret world beyond the limits of the known galaxy known as the Treehouse. Look for more clues to reveal the secrets of the place and its inhabitants.

On-screen: Ronn's Secret: It is said that Ronn once jumped a flaming skateboard over three parked cars and landed on his off-road mountain bike going downhill at 60mph. In the middle of the jump he did a wicked air drum solo and put out the flames with the force of his rock presence.

On-screen: Ben's Secret: Though he arrived at the HIG moustache competition with no facial hair in sight, Ben actually grew the fabled "Phoenix Moustache". Each morning a perfectly-styled handlebar 'stache bursts into flame on his upper lip, only to regrow each evening in prize-winning form.

On-screen: Jhairo's Secret: Don't think that when Jhairo says he "needs recharging" that he is headed home for some sleep, he actually requires none of those little slices of death. Instead he sneaks from rooftop to rooftop drinking water out of gutters in his unending search for the perfect "Roof Hooch."

On-screen: Gilbert's Secret: Recently driven mad by people who work around him, Gilbert's revenge plot is much more subtle than your ordinary villainous scheme might be. His plan: to place a bomb under each person's 't' key which will explode after the eleventh click. Not a very evil plan if you ask me... almost idio---

On-screen: Ricardo's Secret: Ricardo attempts to trick people into thinking he is a part-time photographer by carrying around a camera everywhere he goes. However, his camera actually takes pictures backwards; all of the photos are of himself in the act of taking photos of himself.

On-screen: Leviticus' Secret: Contrary to popular belief, Leviticus accounts for less than 3% of all online shopping traffic related to vinyl figurines. He says he's not "that guy". However, not a single handbag is bought or sold over the Internet without him knowing about it.

On-screen: Carl's Secret: When Khronos ate his children to prevent them from rising up against him, Carl escaped by disguising himself as a saltshaker. In the Greek pantheon, he is the deity of etiquette in online gaming. It's said that he punishes bad PUGs with high latency times.

On-screen: Jess' Secret: Jess never takes candy from babies. He finds it far more satisfying to ruin the child's capacity for sweetness and food-related joy. In the end, the baby gives the candy away of its own free will.

On-screen: Jon's Secret: In the beginning, there was nothing. Then, the Jon floated over the nothing and said, "Hey, this place is boring... I'll write my own real-time raytracer" and there was light. The light reflected off of surfaces and refracted through objects. The light cast soft shadows. And the light even ran at 100 fps!

On-screen: The 3 Jasons' Secret: 651 years ago, a very powerful Robo-Monk was finally able to destroy the Uber-Jason. However, he was only split into three Lesser Jason's: The Dancer, The Ranter and The Crasher. Since that day they have spent their time roaming the land in search of each other. Fate has led them all to the confines of the Treehouse and it is only a matter of time before the Japocalypse is among us.

On-screen: Travis's Secret: Imported from a magical land beyond the Eastern hills of the Western coast, Travis is a programmer who traveled far and wide, searching for the perfect place to work. After finding the Treehouse, he echoed the hallowed words: "Eh, good enough," and settled in to stay. Now all that remains is to find chile good enough to satisfy his Eastern West Coast appetite.

On-screen: Colin's Secret: Colin's made a career out of crafting amazing characters, and then being told time and time again to reduce their poly counts. He doesn't mind. He's come to appreciate the spare beauty of the absent polygon. So much so that he's begun to make plans for his co-workers. Plans involving a belt-sander...

On-screen: Shane's Secret: You can't hear it. You can't see it behind closed doors. But it can hear you. In fact, it will choose what you sound like. Your footsteps, your voice, your panicked ambient breathing effect. Do not cross it. Instead, just leave your offering by the altar outside; your offering of silence. It listens...

On-screen: The Ping Pong Secret: On a lazy afternoon in the Treehouse, you may feel the walls reverberate with the smashes of battle. This is a sure sign that Craig, Justin, Daesup and Eric have reignited their eternal war... Rumbling, shaking, terrifying in intensity; the constant exchange of wills and egos transferred from mind to arm, to paddle, to ball, to table, to opponent and hopefully beyond - to score!

On-screen: Gerard's Secret: Though his neoprene sheath gives him the appearance of a normal man, Gerard is actually a self-contained MMO projected into a robotic shell. Each word and movement is the work of at least a hundred players grinding their way to max level. This has the nice side effect of him doing anything for epic loots.

On-screen: Alex's Secret: Alex used to be named Matt. Ever since he lost his name and his sense of smell in an epic duel, he has wandered the earth, righting wrongs and introducing the third world to the healing power of rock n' roll. His axe, which never leaves his side, is called Freya, Muse of the Apocalypse.

On-screen: Haroon's Secret: In 1985, Haroon was challenged to a breakdancing competition by the devil, wagering his soul against a spool of golden thread. When his sick moves banished the demon to the underworld, Haroon wove the thread into his headphones and from then on could only create beautiful music. He also can no longer hear it when designers talk.

On-screen: Avery's Secret: Unlike most gamers, Avery actually hates old video games. This is because he's actually an eight-bit sprite that entered the real world to escape an evil wizard. So far no one suspects his true nature, but he still practices his double-jump every day to avoid the dreaded triple flame attack.

On-screen: Lesley's Secret: Lesley is actually third in a series of identical clones. She's gotten where she is today by bending the wills of clones four through eight and making them do her bidding. Clone two died under mysterious circumstances after disobeying one of her direct commands. Some say that Lesley Prime is still out there, though...

On-screen: Dave's Secret: Dave is actually a highly-adaptive design robot capable of generating 12,000 platformer maps per second. The rest of his time is spent hunting for uranium coolant rods to fuel his bug-writing Giga-Laser.

On-screen: Matt's Secret: Because of a mystical curse placed on him by a traveling crone, Matt's coding power is inversely proportional to the number of other people named Matt who are standing in the room at any one time. Any other Matt that enters the treehouse is challenged to a ceremonial battle for their name. If they lose, from then on they are called Alex.

On-screen: Ken's Secret: Ken believes it's his destiny to fight invisible ninjas that he alone can perceive. This would be far less disturbing if he didn't also have a penchant for eating invisible stew immediately after his battles.

On-screen: Jared's Secret: Jared got into IT by way of international rock stardom in the 1980's. Buried deep in the server room are the remnants of a former life: glitter, giant hair wigs, and enough styling gel to choke a horse.

On-screen: Vessup's Secret: Dave Vessup has always sworn that his incredible nunchuck skills would never be used on another human being. Last month, he decided that Ronn was exempt from that mantra. Not because of Ronn's constant harassment. Or his sneers. Or his array of diabolical traps. It's because Ronn's T-shirts are better than his.

On-screen: Adam's Secret: Adam is actually an undercover investigator assigned to the Treehouse to uncover evidence of a global muffin-smuggling ring. After a year in the field, though, he's gone too deep. His cover has become his life. He barely remembers the before-time, when he didn't create memorable virtual vistas. But his hand trembles whenever it picks up a muffin.

On-screen: Jeff's Secret: Jeff's garden gnome collection started out innocently enough. No one said anything when he glued them to the floor around his cube. Or when he gave them names like "Bubbles" or "The Gilded Emancipator". Or when we found gnomes in our own cubes. But now Jeff has begun dressing just like them, and this morning pointy hats appeared on all of our desks...