User:Thatawesomecat/My Sandbox4


 * Fix the TBVs
 * Find sources for names in credits?
 * Sort these based upon the scene selection in the DVD or whatever

On-screen: Above Planet Tenemule

On-screen: Cue Bad Guy Speech in... 3, 2, 1

Drek: Esteemed citizens of Quartu, I stand before you a proud Blarg. For tonight, we will twist the very fabric of reality. We will defy nature with reckless abandon. We have also broken sixteen galactic statutes and one star ordinance! So I shouldn't see anything about this online!

Zed: Beautifully worded, sir.

Drek: Hmm.

Drek: In just a few moments, we will unleash a weapon so powerful that it will take-... Stanley, are you seriously still texting after what I just said?!

Drek: (chuckles) Victor? If you please.

Victor Von Ion: (growls)

Stanley: Uh...

Stanley: Mommy!

Automated voice: Dialing Mother.

Stanley's mother: Hello, Horkelberg residence! Hello? Who is this? Herman, it's that man again! I hear heavy breathing and... ew! And chewing! That's it. I'm calling the police.

Drek: Does anyone else feel like texting? Hmm? Show of hands? Anyone?

Drek: Very well. Commence deplanetization!

Blarg: Ready the Deplanetizer!

Drek: Seriously?

Blarg: Oooh!

On-screen: Kyzil Plateau - Planet Veldin

On-screen: Nearby...

Robot: 496, 497, 498, 499, 500! Come on. Is that all you got? I need you to give me two million and ten percent! One and two and three and four. Remember, if you can feel the burn, that's good. If you smell the burn, that's bad! Three, two, one.

Ratchet: (grunting)

Robot: Okay, let's dig deep. Don't quit on me now. Can you feel it?! Huh? Huh? Can you feel the burn?

Ratchet: Are you kidding? I'm on fire! I can take anything you can dish out, so bring it on!

Robot: Okay, two-thousand more!

Ratchet: Two-thousand?!

Robot: One and two, three and four. No pain, no gain.

Ratchet: (groans)

Robot: And we'll be right back after these messages! Okay, bots! Let's do this! And lunge! And lunge! And lunge!

Announcer: Ranger Workout will be right back!

Robot: Burn!

Dallas Wanamaker: Planet Tenemule is no more.

Ratchet: What?

Dallas Wannamaker: Hello. Dallas Wannamaker here. Tonight at 5:00, another uninhabited planet is destroyed without warning or cause, marking the fourth in recent memory of our once-peaceful galaxy. As a result, the President has requested our ever-vigilant Galactic Rangers increase their numbers from four to five! Really? Just five? All right.

Dallas Wanamaker: And now a message from the man himself, Captain Qwark!

Qwark: Space, a wondrous realm full of adventure, and peril, and, uh, big-ness..

Ratchet: Captain Qwark!

Qwark: The Solana Galaxy is our home and as many of you know, it's in a state of crisis! The Galactic Rangers are looking for a new recruit to help with the investigation.

Qwark: So if you're a small-time nobody in search of adventure, come on down to the spaceport and see me, Captain Qwark!

Qwark and Fongoid child: Cue montage!

Qwark: Our next stop, Planet Veldin's Kyzil Plateau!

Ratchet: Kyzil Plateau?

Qwark: That's right! The Kyzil Plateau!

Ratchet: Ranger tryouts. This is huge!

Ratchet: (grunts) Galactic Ranger! Grab some sky. Galactic Ranger, punk. Put 'em-.. Whoa! Ranger down!

Qwark doll: Mission accomplished.

Mr. Micron: Hello? I'm here to pick up my ship!

Ratchet: I'll be there in one minute!

Ratchet: (screams) Give or take.

Mr. Micron: He-Hello? Hello? Hello? Hmm?

Ratchet: Are you ready to have your mind blown?

Mr. Micron: Eh. No.

Ratchet: Whoo-ho-ho! Yeah! I'll take that as a yes.

Ratchet: Boom!

Mr. Micron: (gasps)

Ratchet: Protolux afterburners, full Gadgetron weapon package, and a high-intensity mag-booster so powerful, it can pick up a paperclip from two kilocubits away.

Mr. Micron: I think there's been a mistake. I came in to get my ejector seat repaired.

Ratchet: Why repair something when you can improve it? Come on! Have a seat.

Mr. Micron: (screams)

Ratchet: Now, let's fire up that mag-booster!

Mr. Micron: Oh!

Ratchet: Pretty sweet, right?

Mr. Micron: I guess, but why do I need it?

Ratchet: Well, you could... I mean, you know, if you ever uh.. You know, I don't know.

Mr. Micron: (screams)

Ratchet: Whoa! No worries, I can buff that out. Maybe we should just...

Mr. Micron: (whimpers)

Ratchet: ..Power this sucker down.

Ratchet: Oh, boy.

Mr. Micron: (screams)

Ratchet: Look out! Hello! Watch it! Hey, I've been looking for that.

Qwark doll: Greetings, cadet!

Mr. Micron: Wh-what was that sound?

Ratchet: Nothing. Unrelated question, is your seatbelt on?

Mr. Micron: Uh...

Ratchet and Mr. Micron: (screams)

Ratchet: Hit the brakes! Hit the brakes! Those aren't the brakes!

Mr. Micron: I'm too old to die!

Ratchet: You've got to be kidding me. How did you get a license?

Ratchet: Whoa! Can you hit the kill switch, please?

Mr. Micron: The fish witch?

Ratchet: The kill switch!

Mr. Micron: Eh...

Ratchet: On the dash!

Mr. Micron: Eh.. the drill hatch on the dish! (yells) Whoa!

Ratchet: Hang on, I can fix this. (yells)

Mr. Micron: Your tail's in my face!

Ratchet: Hey, the view's no prettier down here, pal!

Mr. Micron: Whoa!

Ratchet: (screams)

Mr. Micron (screaming): There's a wall!

Ratchet: Oh, boy.

Ratchet: Yes!

Mr. Micron: (screams)

Ratchet: Whoa!

Mr. Micron: (screams)

Ratchet: Phew! That was a close one, huh?

Mr. Micron: I want a refund!

Ratchet: Yeah, that is gonna show up on my midyear review.

On-screen: Planet Quartu - Home of Drek Industries

On-screen: Now with two locations to better serve you!

Drek: You seem especially brooding today, Victor. Come! I have just the thing to brighten your day! Our next target! Look at these waterfalls, the fjords, the rolling hills of Corvoxian snodgrass! This is exactly what I need. (hums and laughs)

Victor Von Ion: But, sir, that entire region is heavily patrolled by the Galactic Rangers!

Drek: We will have this planet! And we will take it by going on the offensive. Our forces will strike at the Galactic Rangers first and remove them from the equation altogether.

Victor Von Ion: Wait. Real battle?

Drek: Metal hand against hand. I trust this pleases you?

Victor Von Ion: Of course it pleases me, but we don't have any forces!

Drek: You let me worry about that. In two days' time, the Galactic Rangers will be destroyed and I'll be able to complete my masterpiece!

Grimroth Razz: How many times, Ratchet? How many?

Ratchet: Come on, he's fine! He landed in a pile of ivy.

Grimroth Razz: Poison ivy. Look, you're a great mechanic, you got a lot of heart, but you're careless!

Ratchet: Careless? It's such an ugly word. I prefer carefree.

Ratchet: Too soon? Yeah, it was too soon.

Grimroth Razz: I know things haven't been easy for you, but you can't keep acting out like this when I have a shop to run. What's with you lately?

Ratchet: I just feel like I'm supposed to do more. I've always dreamt of being a Galactic Ranger, doing big things, like Captain Qwark!

Grimroth Razz: You want an old mechanic's advice? Dream smaller. It leads to less disappointment.

Ratchet: Please, Grim. I just need one hour off so I can go to the spaceport for tryouts.

Grimroth Razz: You promised you'd help me give proton scrubs to every ship on the plateau! It's almost summer. These people depend on us!

Ratchet: First off, it's always summer. We live in a desert! And second, that promise is still in effect! It's a one-hundred percent valid promise and you can redeem it in one hour.

Grimroth Razz: (groans)

Ratchet: Yes! You! You are a great friend, Grim. Don't let anyone tell you different. I'll be back before you know it! You're the best boss in the galaxy! An inspiration to us all! Don't ever change!

Ratchet: (yells) I'm okay!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, get on your feet, put your hands together, and give a big planet Veldin welcome to your Galactic Rangers!

Announcer: First up, she'll shoot first and ask questions when she's good and ready. Cora Veralux!

Announcer: You loved him in Grapplemania, you'll love him more as a Galactic Ranger! Get ready to feel the pain of Brax "The Brute" Lectrus!

Brax Lectrus: Yeah, baby!

Announcer: And finally, ladies and gentlemen, the savior of Solana, Captain Qwark!

Qwark: Hello, Veldin!

Ratchet: Hello, Captain!

Brax Lectrus: He's on fire again.

Cora Veralux: I know.

Qwark: My name is Copernicus Qwark, and yes, that was an impressive wall of fire I just walked past. I'm gonna be real with you folks for a moment. When President Phyronix recommended I take on a new ranger, I knew just where to go. That's right, we want you!

Ratchet: Yeah!

Qwark: The galaxy is a perilous place. Invasion, space pirates, supernovas! I know what you're thinking: Do I have what it takes? After all, you may not have prevented Dr. Nefarious from atomizing Aleero City. You may not have stopped Neftin Prog from rendering the entire population of Aridia color-blind! Twice! After all, you may not have this chiseled jaw or godlike pectoral region, but if you have heart, then you have what it takes.

Qwark: You don't have what it takes.

Ratchet: But I have heart.

Qwark: Yes, but unfortunately that heart is encased in a weak, muscleless mass of inexperience. Plus, there's your history to consider.

Cora Veralux: Got a long line of citations here. Possession of an illegal gravity repulsor?

Ratchet: Oh, that was a misunderstanding. I thought that space pirate was on the level!

Brax Lectrus: Operation of a black-market accelerator.

Ratchet: Operation is a strong word. It blew up as soon as I turned it on!

Cora Veralux: Willful disruption of the space-time continuum?

Ratchet: That is a funny story.

Qwark: You're reckless, you're a loose cannon, and you're dangerous. That's my shtick.

Ratchet: Wait! Just give me a chance!

Qwark: Sorry, no time! Galaxy in jeopardy!

Ratchet: (sighs)

Qwark: Get back out there, and remember, you can do anything... as long as you're me. Next!

TBV kid: I have no less than three lethal katas I would like to demonstrate for you today!

Qwark: Get me out of these tiny blue-neck towns!

Nefarious: (laughs)

Drek: Dr. Nefarious! The mad scientist who made all of this possible!

Nefarious: Mad suggests cognitive impairment. I'm more of a vengeful scientist. I trust you're here to meet the troops.

Drek: (laughs)

Nefarious: Three hundred sentient warbots, built using the finest raritanium in the galaxy, and programmed to assassinate the Galactic Rangers. Proton-powered, rust-proof, and laser-guided. Each of these perfect creations is an efficient, remorseless killing machine!

Drek: Remorseless killing machine... Makes me want to have children of my own. But will they get the job done? I'd hate to have to send you back where I found you.

Warbot computer: State your prime objective.

Warbot: Prime objective, destroy Galactic Rangers.

Warbot computer: Inspection complete. Weapon issued.

Nefarious: My warbots know every offensive tactic in the Ranger handbook.

Nefarious: They won't just kill the Rangers...

Warbot: Target acquired.

Nefarious: They'll annihilate them! (laughs)

Victor Von Ion: Nice. They killed the lights, too.

Zed: Burn.

Nefarious: Repairbot!

Repairbot: (hums)

Drek: Ahh!

Zed: Now we're talking.

Warbot: Target acquired.

Clank: Oh, my!

Warbot computer: State your prime objective.

Warbot: Destroy Galactic Rangers.

Warbot computer: State your prime objective.

Warbot: Destroy Galactic Rangers.

Warbot computer: State your prime ob-...

Clank: Hmm. Hello.

Warbot computer: Defect detected. Preparing for immediate destruction in three, two, on-.. Hey! Wait!

Drek : Oh, a defect! Go play, Victor.

Clank: No!

Victor Von Ion: (screams) I'm coming for you, defect!

Clank: (yells) Whoa! Hmm.

Victor Von Ion: Defect!

Victor Von Ion: (growls)

Clank: Computer, set coordinates for the Galactic Ranger home base.

Computer: Destination set. We will never make it, but, hey, what are you gonna do?

Clank: Oh, dear.

Grimroth Razz: (grunts)

Qwark doll: (laughs) Sayonara, amigo.

Grimroth Razz: Ratchet...

Grimroth Razz: So, you're off to save the galaxy.

Ratchet: Turns out you were right. I should dream smaller.

Ratchet: I'll never be a ranger.. (sighs)

Ratchet: (gasps) What?

Ratchet: Whoa!

Ratchet: (gasps)

Computer: Danger detected. Danger detected. I told you we'd never make it, but did you listen to me? No.

Ratchet: Hello? Anyone in there? Whoa!

Ratchet: (gasps)

Computer: Prepare for imminent death.

Ratchet: There's got to be a better way to say that.

Computer: Sorry.

Computer (singing): Prepare for imminent death.

Computer: How's that? Five, four, three, two, one...

Ratchet: Whew!

Ratchet: No vector shell damage. Sister board appears to be intact.

Ratchet: (screams)

Clank: I must get to Aleero City! They are in danger!

Ratchet: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hey, who's in danger?

Clank: An army is coming. I must warn them!

Ratchet: Hang on, slow down. You've been in a crash.

Ratchet: What do you say we get you back to my garage? I'll run a diagnostic and have you fixed up in no time.

Clank: Thank you. I appreciate the assistance.

Ratchet: It's no problem. So what do I call you?

Clank: I suppose my proper designation is Warbot Defect B5429-...

Ratchet: Maybe I'll just call ya Clank. My name's Ratchet.

Ratchet: Uh...Up and down. Yeah, there you go. You're a natural!

Ratchet: Okay, that's enough. Or just keep shaking. That's cool, too.

Ratchet: Almost got it. And... there! How do you feel?

Clank: Fully operational.

Ratchet: Sweet. So, what are you doing all the way out here in the sticks?

Clank: I am on a mission of galactic importance.

Ratchet: Galactic importance? Heh, okay. Oh, boy. You must have ruptured your CPU. How many fingers am I holding up?

Clank: Uh... two. But I fail to see the relevance of the question. Chairman Drek has built an army of warbots. They're going to assassinate the Galactic Rangers tomorrow.

Ratchet: Oh! That kind of galactic importance! Well, why didn't you say so? I can totally help!

Clank: Oh, I could not ask a civilian to get involved in something so dangerous.

Ratchet: Well no, I'm not just a civilian. The Rangers are actually my uh, friends! Why do you think I have so many pictures of them?

Clank: But why are you not in any of them?

Ratchet: Well, someone had to take the picture, right? I mean, come on. I even have a ship.

Ratchet: It disassembles so it can infiltrate enemy strongholds, heh. So, what do you say?

On-screen: Hall of Heroes - Aleero City

On-screen: Gift Shop open daily

Qwark: I understand what the President wants, but what are the odds of actually finding a qualified Ranger way out in the boonies? After all, there's nothing the three of us can't handle.. whoa!

TBV kid 2: I am your biggest fan.

Qwark: (gasps) It's touching me. Get it off! Get it off!

Robot: Move it! Move it! We've got hostiles! We've got hostiles! Go! Go! Go!

Qwark: Enemy warship! Take cover, citizen!

TBV kid 2: I love you!

Qwark: (gasps)

Warbot: Target acquired.

Clank: Hmm. Hmm. Hmm?

Ratchet: What?

Clank: Apologies.

Ratchet: I have not been able to locate your species in my database.

Ratchet: I get that a lot. There aren't many of us left. Not in this galaxy, anyway. I'm a lombax!

Clank: A lombax? Fascinating.

Ratchet: Yeah. I crashed on Veldin when I was just a baby. No note, no message, no name. Heh, kinda like you.

Computer: Approaching destination.

Ratchet: Whoa! Aleero City!

Clank: Yes, it certainly is.

Ratchet: No way!

Clank: It is the invasion. We are too late.

Warbot: Target acquired.

Qwark: Hi-yah! You knocked on the wrong door, hombre.

Qwark: How was that? Did that sound cool?

Robot: (yells)

Qwark: Oh, boy. (yells)

Brax Lectrus: (grunts)

Warbot: Target... Target acquired.

Brax Lectrus: (grunts)

Cora Veralux: (grunts)

Warbot: Target... target...

Brax Lectrus and Cora Veralux: Brax to the max!

Ratchet: Awesome!

Robot: Fire!

Victor Von Ion: Bring me the captain's head, or I'll take yours as a replacement.

Robot: (screams)

Robot: Wilhelm!

Ratchet: I got these guys.

Qwark: (yells)

Qwark statue: Welcome to the Hall of Heroes.

Qwark: (screams)

Ratchet: Oops. I must've forgotten to install the targeting software. Here, take the controls for a sec.

Clank: Oh. I, um.

Ratchet: Ow! Hey! What's going on up there?

Clank: Well, unfortunately my piloting skills are, shall we say, slightly underdeveloped.

Ratchet: Yeah, I think we can definitely agree on that.

Ratchet and Clank: (screams)

Somebody off-screen TBV: Whoa! You maniac!

Clank: Ratchet, we are clearly not prepared for this. We should have contacted the Rangers to warn them of the attack.

Ratchet: (laughs) Yeah, like they'd know who we are.

Clank: But you said they were your friends.

Ratchet: What? I think you're quoting me out of context.

Ratchet (recording): The Rangers are actually my, uh, friends!

Ratchet: Do you record everything I say?

Ratchet (recording): Do you record everything I say?

Ratchet and Clank: (screams)

Ratchet: We're going down!

Clank: Your sense of direction is impeccable.

Ratchet: I can fix this!

TBV kid 2: That was awesome!

Victor Von Ion: Finish them!

Clank: Ratchet, I believe I may have an idea. Your weapon package includes a mag-booster. I am rewriting the software to isolate the raritanium alloy used to manufacture us.

Ratchet: Great idea, Clank!

Cora Veralux: Bring it on!

Brax Lectrus: There's too many of them!

Qwark: Hold steady, Rangers!

Victor Von Ion: Prepare to die, galactic losers!

Ratchet: Come on, come on!

Clank: Executing command, and engage mag-booster.

Ratchet: Is it working?

Clank: (yells)

Clank: I do believe it is.

Warbot: Target acquired.

Qwark: Huh?

Cora Veralux: Whoa!

Brax Lectrus: No way.

Ratchet: Yeah!

Clank: Oh, yes.

Juanita Alvaro: You're getting this, right? Two civilians are saving the city!

Clank: There are three-hundred heavily armed warbots gaining on us!

Ratchet: I know! Isn't it great?!

Ratchet: Get ready to return to sender! Terminating mag-booster on my mark!

Ratchet: Three, two, one... mark!

Victor Von Ion: No, no, no!

Boy: What happened?

Victor Von Ion: You got to be kidding me!

Taxi driver: (yells)

Victor Von Ion: Get out!

Taxi driver (screaming): Taxi!

Qwark: Ah! (laughs)

Qwark: Hmm?

Qwark: All right, everyone, let's give these heroes some breathing room! I'm happy to field all questions on their behalf.

Juanita Alvaro: Captain Qwark! Juanita Alvaro, HoloVid Nightly. The Blarg have been underground for over fifty years. Could their return be linked to the destroyed planets?

Qwark: I think that's being a little alarmist, don't you, Juanita?

Clank: Begging your pardon, Captain, but Drek is responsible. And his attack today proves that he is only getting started.

Qwark: Now, now! We must all stay calm. Everything is under control.

Dallas Wannamaker: Captain Qwark! Dallas Wannamaker here. Does that mean you'll be asking these two heroes to join the Rangers?

Qwark: Say what now?

Qwark: Well, I... I... Well, I...

Qwark: (gasps) I don't see why not.

Ratchet: (laughs)

Dallas Wannamaker: You heard it here, folks! The search for a new Galactic Ranger is over! Aleero City will never forget the day it was saved by a, uh, a cat thingy.

Drek: (groans) How did this happen? Someone explain it to me! You! You're supposed to understand how they think! How did you not see this coming?

Drek: And Victor! (growls) Do you know how many candidates you beat out for your position? I could have hired the Zeezils Brothers! It's enough to make me want to vaporize someone!

Zed : (humming)

Drek: (sighs) We're putting our project on hold. I'm ordering all remaining warbots to the Deplanetizer until the heat dies down. (yells)

Nefarious: Before we make any rash decisions, I wonder if you'd permit me to troubleshoot this for you.

Drek: (sighs) Go on.

Nefarious: Our question is simple! How do you destroy a team of heroes?

Victor Von Ion: Oh, oh, oh! Well, lots of ways, really. Chains, knives, guns, an enormous rock? Rock?!

Nefarious: The answer is from within! If we continue to fight them with muscle, we'll lose every time. But if we turn one of their own against them. Of course, we'd need a weak link. A sad simpleton who'd believe whatever we tell him. A corruptible moron. But who? Who?

Nefarious: Who?

Drek: Hmm.

Nefarious: (snaps)

Drek: (gasps)

Drek: I'm getting an idea, boys! (laughs)

Nefarious: You're a genius, sir.

Drek: I know. Haha, I know! (laughs)

Brax Lectrus: Our training program usually lasts a full year, but we've been cleared to attack Drek Industries in three days. That means you two are getting the accelerated course.

Ratchet: We're going to be trained by Brax Lectrus? The guy's a legend!

Clank: I do not suppose you offer introductory courses in aviation?

Brax Lectrus: Heh, no offense, little guy but...

Ratchet: To the max!

Brax Lectrus: ..I don't think flying's really your thing. Captain Qwark suggested we put you in a position a little less, uh...

Clank: Dangerous? Whoa!

On-screen: Galactic Ranger Intelligence Center (AKA the Broom Closet)

Elaris: Ha! That's right, LivesAtHome472. What's the matter? Don't like getting your butt kicked? What are you going to do, cry to your mommy? (laughs) Wait, are you really crying?

Brax Lectrus: Hey, Elaris.

Elaris: Hi, Brax! Is that my new assistant?

Clank: Greetings. Your office is most, uh, um, impressive.

Elaris: Hm.

Brax Lectrus: Elaris here is in charge of developing our gear and providing tactical support.

Elaris: Usually it's the former. The Rangers are the shoot-first-think-later type. (laughs) I'm sorry! I didn't mean to sound like that.

Brax Lectrus: Like what now?

Elaris: Come on. I'll show you around.

Elaris: So, this is the...

Brax Lectrus: Let's go, Cadet. Time to make you a Ranger.

Elaris: ...Got to keep an eye on them. Oh. And over here, over here...

Ratchet: I'll see you in a bit!

Elaris: We're gonna have so much fun!

Brax Lectrus: Well, good luck.

Ratchet: (grunts)

Qwark: Welcome, Cadet!

Ratchet: (gasps)

Qwark: Let's get you into your new protosuit! Your protosuit is the most advanced combat armor on the market. And it comes in all the latest fall colors!

Ratchet: Sweet!

Qwark: A neural sensor in your helmet reads your thoughts and telequips the desired weapon into your hands. Try equipping your Combuster.

Ratchet: (grunts)

Qwark: There you go.

Protosuit: Combuster equipped.

Ratchet: Wicked.

Qwark: The Combuster is the backbone of the Rangers' arsenal, allowing you to hit targets in a short to medium range.

Ratchet: (chuckles) Whoa!

Cora Veralux: This is embarrassing.

Qwark: The Alpha Disruptor fires a deadly stream of plasma, allowing you to hit multiple targets at once.

Ratchet: Whoa!

Brax Lectrus: See? He's got it. Sort of.

Qwark: This little baby's the Negotiator. Fires multiple long-range, high-impact rockets. Great versus heavy armor.

Ratchet: (grunts) Whoa!

Qwark: Buzz Blades!

Ratchet: Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no! Whoa!

Qwark: The Warmonger.

Ratchet: (chuckles) Ah!

Qwark: I dunno. The Spiral of Death?

Ratchet: Whoa! (screams)

Qwark: Fusion Grenade?

Qwark: Wow.

Brax Lectrus: Dude.

Ratchet: How am I doing?

Clank: So this is really your office?

Elaris: Eh. Budget cutbacks. I don't mind it as much as the last guy who had this job. Dr. Nefarious. Drove him crazy. Literally! He turned evil. Oh. But don't worry. It won't happen to me. (chuckles)

Elaris: Ahem. Hmm. That's strange.

Clank: What is it?

Elaris: I'm running a simulation based on the fragments we located from each destroyed planet. Each one is missing a famous landmass.

Clank: Well, perhaps the pieces are still out there. There is a lot of space in space.

Elaris: I guess. But it's worth bringing up to the captain, don't you think?

Qwark: Out of the way! Hey! Watch out! Heads up! Coming through!

Elaris: Whoa!

Qwark and Ratchet: Woohoo!

Qwark: Just relax! Everyone, stay calm! Something epic is happening!

Ratchet: Pretty cool, huh, Clank?

Qwark: That's the stuff. Flying in the air like a majestic bird, a majestic bird who knows every fighting style. Watch the master!

Clank: Captain, Elaris and I-...

Qwark: Can't talk.

Clank: ...have some information.

Qwark: Doing a flyby.

Ratchet: (laughs)

Elaris: Sir! If you could come down and speak to us for three minutes.

Qwark: And there are the sprinklers. But, hey, good news! You already have a mop, huh? So, there's that.

Clank: Please! If we could have just a minute to discuss our findings.

Qwark: The only thing I'm interested in finding is the Hall of Heroes cafeteria. Let's go, Cadet. It's three floors up and it's meatloaf day!

Qwark: Meatloaf-ho! (yells)

Clank: Do they always treat you so poorly?

Elaris: Oh! No! Yes.

Announcer: The new Galactic Ranger Ratchet action figure!

Fongoid boy: There he is!

Fongoid man: Guys, it's Ratchet! Hey-hey!

Fongoid woman: Ratchet, we love you!

Ratchet: Boy, for a big city, the people here sure are friendly.

Clank: And rather loud. Oh!

Man: Sorry! Thought you were a trash can!

Clank: Indeed.

Ratchet: Wow. Look at that.

Ratchet: What do you know, Clank? I'm famous!

Clank: Yes. Though I am sure it is exciting, my cultural database shows that fame is highly overrated and ultimately not rewarding. Would you agree?

Ratchet: Oh, totally. Way overrated! Hey, do you think they'll name a street after me? Or a cologne?!

Ratchet: Ratchet. Smell like a hero!

Ratchet: (chuckles)

Man: There he is!

Man: Can I smell you?

Ratchet: Easy, now. There's no rush. Believe me, I could do this all day.

Ratchet: Uh?!

Qwark: Sorry, folks, but, unfortunately, we don't have time for this nonsense. I'm about to reveal my awesome plan for the attack on Drek Industries, unless, of course, anyone would like my autograph.

Fongoid: (coughs)

Qwark: Good, because we don't have time.

Man: You the man, Ratchet!

Ratchet: I love you all!

Man: He's taller in person!

Clank: Hmm.

Qwark: All right, Rangers, our plan of attack is simple. HALO drop into Skorg City, fire a whole mess o' bullets, and take Drek into custody so we can be home in time for waffles. Mmmhmm!

Brax Lectrus: Yeah! Yeah, waffles!

Ratchet: (laughs) Ohh, that's good!

Elaris: Wait, that's our plan?

Qwark: (breathes in) Yes, it is.

Clank: Pardon me, Captain, but Chairman Drek is cunning. He will be prepared for our assault.

Qwark: Look, I think it is beyond adorable that you decided to do all this homework. But big heroes do big things.

Qwark: Each second we waste talking is a second Drek could use to destroy another planet.

Elaris: But wouldn't it be worth taking five minutes to review our plan? We have holoschematics-...

Brax Lectrus: (groans) Does anyone else feel like we should have shot something by now? Because it really feels like we should have shot something by now.

Cora Veralux: Thank you!

Qwark: Let's take a vote. All those in favor of kicking in Drek's front door with a massive arsenal and restoring peace to a galaxy in turmoil, say aye.

Ratchet, Brax Lectrus and Cora Veralux: Aye!

Qwark: All those in favor of nerding it up here with some pie charts, say nay.

Clank and Elaris: Nay.

Qwark: Motion passes. We assault Drek Industries tonight!

Qwark: Lock and load, Rangers!

On-screen: Airspace Above Drek Industries - Go Time

Qwark: Suit up and rally in the aft airlock.

Clank: Although I am happy to help with the mission in any capacity, I find this arrangement slightly embarrassing.

Elaris: I'm sorry, but you're the only one who's been inside Drek's warbot factory.

Ratchet: Besides, this is the best way for you to keep up.

Clank: Whoa!

Ratchet: (chuckles)

Cora Veralux: Nice backpack.

Elaris: Remember, your thrusters are powered by Ratchet's suit, so don't try any solo flights. Okay?

Clank: I shall endeavor to remain-...

Ratchet: He's in good hands, Elaris.

Qwark: You sure you want to take the, uh, extra baggage? No offense, but we're dropping straight into a cauldron. And do you know what's inside that cauldron?

Brax Lectrus: Is it danger?

Qwark: It's... Yes, it's danger.

Brax Lectrus: Let's roll!

Qwark: All right, team. Let's bring it in. Remember, our target is Chairman Drek! Ready, Rangers? On the count of three!

Qwark: Three!

Brax Lectrus: (laughs)

Cora Veralux: Keep up, rookie!

Ratchet: All right, pal, you ready?

Clank: Well, I, uh...

Ratchet: Whoo-hoo!

Clank: Whoa!

Brax Lectrus: Yeah!

Ratchet: Yeah!

Ratchet: Yeah! Whoo!

Qwark: Ah!

Qwark: Hi-yah! (grunts)

Qwark: I'm in. Any sign of Drek?

Brax Lectrus: Negative. Place looks deserted.

Clank: My internal coordinates system indicates a right turn up ahead.

Ratchet: Eh. My gut says this way, Clank.

Cora Veralux: Glad you're getting in touch with your feelings, newbie, but we're turning right.

Ratchet: Because?

Cora Veralux: Because I'm your senior Ranger and I say so. That's why.

Ratchet: Okay! Okay. Yeesh! Cranky.

Cora Veralux: What's that?

Ratchet: Huh? Oh. I said, thank ye for those words of wisdom.

Clank: Good save.

Clank: This feels too easy. Why was there no alarm?

Cora Veralux: It is strange. Everyone, stay sharp.

Drek: Initiate Phase One. Let's scatter the cockroaches. (laugh)

Zed: (laughs louder)

Drek: (laughs louder)

Zed: (laughs louder)

Drek: (laughs louder)

Zed: (laughs louder)

Drek: Just push the button, Zed!

Mr. Zurkon: Yoo-hoo!

Mr. Zurkon: Zurkon, zurkon.

Mr. Zurkon: Zurkon, zurkon.

Brax Lectrus: Hm?

Mr. Zurkon: Zurkon, zurkon, zurkon.

Qwark: (gasps) Anyone hear that?

Mr. Zurkon: Zurkon, zurkon, zurkon.

Cora Veralux: Engaging motion scan.

Cora Veralux: I'm getting something.

Brax Lectrus: Yeah. Me, too.

Mr. Zurkon: Zurkon, zurkon, zurkon, zurkon, zurkon, zurkon.

Mr. Zurkon: (laughs) Yoo-hoo!

Cora Veralux: Zurkons!

Mr. Zurkon: Mr. Zurkon is looking to kill you!

Mr. Zurkon: Yoo-hoo!

Brax Lectrus: Boom, baby!

Mr. Zurkon: Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo!

Brax Lectrus: Yeah! (laughs)

Brax Lectrus: Three-time galactic champ up in here!

Mr. Zurkon: Ranger identified. Terminate!

Ratchet: What's a Zurkon?

Cora Veralux: Robotic bodyguards. They protect whoever deploys them.

Mr. Zurkon: Mr. Zurkon has you now. Zurkon hates Galactic Rangers!

Ratchet: Heads up!

Cora Veralux: (gasps) Whoa!

Mr. Zurkon: Yoo-hoo! Ow!

Cora Veralux: Nice shot. Do that again, and I'll shoot you myself.

Cora Veralux: What is this place?

Ratchet: Huh.

Clank: If I may. Hmm.

Mr. Zurkon: Yoo-hoo!

Qwark: (gasps)

Mr. Zurkon: Stupid Ranger. Time to die!

Qwark: (screams)

Mr. Zurkon: Mr. Zurkon delivers a symphony of pain!

Qwark: Don't move.

Victor Von Ion: (grunts)

Qwark: I'm listening.

Drek: Captain Qwark. I've been watching you these past few days, and I think it's simply dreadful what-...

Drek (screaming): Zed!

Zed: (screams) Sorry.

Drek: Simply dreadful what Ratchet has done to you. He's made people forget who the real hero is. All you wanted to do was protect the galaxy, and how do they repay you? By dropping you for some, well, I don't even know what he is!

Qwark: Even if that were true, I could never betray the citizens of Solana.

Drek: My friend, betraying them is how you get them to love you.

Drek: Allow me to introduce you to my personal team of Blargian PR professionals. Lads, tell him how we work our magic!

Blarg 1: As far as I can see, you're the victim here.

Blarg 2: That Lombax pushed you to do this.

Qwark: He did?

Blarg 1: You were desperate, emotionally scarred, depressed, even!

Blarg 2: You didn't know what you were doing. The betrayal was a cry for help!

Qwark: It was?

Blarg 1: It will be! A tell-all book, a few guest appearances.

Blarg 3: A holo-film. No. A trilogy!

Blarg 2: In six months' time, you won't just be Captain Qwark the hero...

Blarg 1: You'll be Captain Qwark the survivor. Huh? (chuckles)

Drek: No one needs to get hurt, Captain. We can evacuate the planet and give these people a new place to live, a better place to live. Do we have a deal?

Drek: Huh?

Blarg 1 and Blarg 2: (chuckles)

Clank: Hmm. Fascinating. These are plans for something called a Deplanetizer.

Cora Veralux: Deplanetizer?

Ratchet: Why would Drek be destroying planets?

Clank: Not destroy.

Clank: It seems that Drek is trying to build the perfect planet!

Victor Von Ion: Come on, let's move out!

Zed: Hey! Wait for me!

Drek: (sighs)

Zed: Wait! Wait!

Drek: Sorry, Zed! I'll write you an excellent letter of recommendation!

Zed: You don't even have my email!

Drek: (hums)

Zed (screaming): It's Spacegangsta_72@Zed.com!

Zed: Ooh! (laughs) Hi. Ahem, um. Before you start in with the, um, questioning, it's important you understand that I am faithful to my employer.

Zed: And that's how I found out I was lactose intolerant, though I think the parakeet would've died anyway, because he was always flying into the window, which is..

Ratchet: She wouldn't drop him, would she?

Brax Lectrus: Maybe.

Cora Veralux: When I said, tell us everything - I meant Drek's target list. Now, out with it!

Brax Lectrus: Probably.

Zed: I would be more than happy to supply you with the target list, but, unfortunately, I signed a legally binding non-disclosure agreement.

Cora Veralux: I want the rest of his targets. Now!

Zed: Please. This was supposed to be a temp job until I got my singing career on track. (screams)

Zed: Okay, okay! Novalis. He wants Novalis.

Cora Veralux: Novalis? Novalis is populated.

Zed: Yes, 43,618,924 people, to be exact. The Schnorkelsons had twins this morning.

Cora Veralux: We've gotta move.

Zed: (beatboxing)

Zed: Hey! Captain Qwark! Buddy! Remember me?

Qwark: (gasps)

Zed: From Drek's office? Where you signed that contract and-.. (screams)

Qwark: Shh!

Zed: Not the face!

On-screen: Meanwhile, back on the Deplanetizer...

Nefarious: Dear Diary. I mean, journal. Yes. Ahem.

Nefarious: Dear Journal, I've been having the mood swings again. One minute, I'm laughing hysterically. The next minute, I'm laughing maniacally. I guess it's because everything is going exactly according to plan. Soon, I'll be long gone and the entire solar system will be nothing but a giant cloud of dust and gas.

Blarg: Excuse me, Doctor.

Nefarious: (screams)

Blarg: Chairman Drek would like to see you.

Nefarious: How long have you been standing there?

Blarg: I came in during the part about dust and gas?

Nefarious: (laughs) It's my dietary journal! I keep a very strict record of everything I eat and which foods give me-...

Blarg: Dust and gas?

Nefarious: Exactly!

Blarg: Cool.

Qwark: General Qwark moves into position. Ooh.

Qwark: (gasps)

Qwark (whispering): Cleverly, he deactivates the weapons system, and the crowd goes wild. Yeah! Yeah! Qwark is the best! Yeah!

On-screen: Planet Novalis - Population: x,xx,xxx (TBV, the number starts decreasing rapidly here)

Shuttle Commander: Novalis Control, evac shuttle convoy 262 departing orbit. Evacuation eighty-two percent complete.

Cora Veralux: Fighters ready to rock. So what's the plan, Captain?

Qwark: Huh? Oh, the plan? Yes. Here's what we're going to do, Rangers. I'll go in first and try to reason with this Drek character, see if we can talk this out, mano-a-mano.

Brax Lectrus: Talk? I don't follow, sir.

Cora Veralux: Sir, he's blown up five planets already! I think we're done talking.

Elaris: Captain, if we can just take thirty seconds, I think I have an idea.

Qwark: (groans) Sure. Go ahead.

Elaris: Well, I was looking at the schematics..

Qwark: Yeah.

Elaris: ..Of the Deplanetizer...

Qwark: Uhhuh.

Elaris: ...And it occurred to me there might be-...

Qwark: And mute.

Qwark: I'm going in.

Elaris: Captain, wait! Back-up is on the way! We should... (groans)

Blarg: Hostile ship on approach, sir. Should we fire proton cannons?

Drek: (groans) Not yet. I've got a shiny new puppet down there, and I'm about to put on a show.

Qwark: Starting secret mission: Hero work ain't easy. Hashtag humblebrag, hashtag killing it, hastag no filter not a mole!

Drek: Ah!

Qwark: I'm not a sellout!

Drek: Captain Qwark! You performed marvelously! Be honest, are you a professional actor?

Qwark: Well, I did dabble in my share of theater back in grade school. Every year, I'd play the dad-...

Drek: Yes, an enthralling saga I'd love to hear! But first, you've disabled the weapons system on the Rangers' fleet, right? Oh, just as a safety precaution, mind you. Heh, we wouldn't want a tense situation to escalate out of control.

Qwark: Of course, we wouldn't want that. And I have your word that my team isn't going to get hurt, right?

Drek: Oh, my dear captain! Where's the trust?

Drek: Destroy them all!

889 Contact! Contact!

890 All units, engage.

891 Error. Error. Weapons system compromised.

892 Cannons! Missiles!

893 Weapon systems are negative across the board!

894 Same here! I got nothing!

895 We've been sabotaged. Rangers, fall back!

896 Break off! Break off!

897 The Rangers are retreating, sir.

898 Brilliant.

899 Hmm.

900 Get me a holo-scan of that ship.

901 Right away, sir.

902 Well, lookee-lookee.

903 What have we here?

904 The defect.

905 Ah, yes, the one that got away.

906 Not this time.

907 Are you sure, Victor?

908 He looks awfully dangerous.

909 Teleport me to the ship.

910 It's impossible, sir. It's shielded.

911 Just get me close!

912 No, I can't leave him.

913 Ratchet, what are you doing?

914 I'm going in!

915 Ratchet, don't do this.

916 If you give us a minute, we can work out an assault plan!

917 There's no time!

918 Captain Qwark is in there fighting an entire army on his own!

919 Permission to land?

920 Permission granted.

921 Mmm.

922 Who's on foot duty?

923 Tootsie rub, come on.

924 Ah!

925 Their defensive fire is too strong.

926 Pull back! Your fighter won't make it.

927 I don't have to land!

928 I just have to get close.

929 Hull integrity at 2%.

930 Prepare to teleject.

931 Ratchet, please, listen to Elaris.

932 The odds of surviving a head-on assault is roughly 600,993 to one!

933 Big heroes do big things.

934 Three, two, one...

935 He made it!

936 What was that?

937 I do not know. I will investigate.

938 Probably just the ship settling.

939 Nothing to be alarmed about.

940 Whoa!

941 Ah!

942 Defect!

943 Oh, my.

944 I am coming for you, Defect!

945 Uh, I believe we may have a problem.

946 Coming through!

947 Star Cracker Chamber,

948 47 meters southwest, then slight right ahead.

949 Ratchet? Where are you?

950 Can't talk! I'm almost at the control center.

951 Captain Qwark did something to the ship! Nothing's working!

952 And I think Clank's in trouble!

953 Roger that! As soon as I stop the Deplanetizer from firing,

954 I'll be right back to help.

955 Deplanetizer now online.

956 Bravo, my boy!

957 Bravo!

958 I deal with my share of morons on a daily basis,

959 but this?

960 This is seriously next level!

961 Take him.

962 Where are you?

963 Come out and fight!

964 You want a fight? I'll give you a fight.

965 No free rides!

966 Hmm.

967 Die!

968 Get back here!

969 I'm going to make you wish you were never created!

970 Thundersmack equipped.

971 You're nothing but a pathetic defect!

972 Perhaps. But I am waterproof.

973 Defect!

974 Hey! Over here!

975 Can I switch sides now?

976 I never had a proper planet.

977 I spent my formative years underground,

978 where everything was dark and wet and hot.

979 And I was like, "Warrior? No, I said I was a worrier!"

980 I worry about everything!

981 I... Oh, hey.

982 Qwark?

983 This is awkward.

984 The next time you and those moronic Rangers decide to play hero...

985 ...plan better.

986 Toss him into one of the shuttles.

987 I want him to live to see his failure.

988 Drek, don't do this! Novalis is home to millions!

989 Yes, yes, and they had their time in the sun.

990 Now it's our turn.

991 Commence deplanetization!

992 Ready the Deplanetizer!

993 No!

994 Well, here's your I.D. Welcome aboard.

995 - Captain? - Huh?

996 Oh. Yeah. Thanks.

997 Release the harvesters!

998 In the wake of Novalis' destruction

999 and Captain Qwark's shocking betrayal, Galactic President Phyronix has issued

1000 a galaxy-wide alert to all Solana citizens.

1001 Residents are to remain in their homes while authorities manage the crisis.

1002 And though the planet was successfully evacuated,

1003 the question remains, did we put our trust in the wrong Lombax?

1004 Uh...

1005 Can I come in?

1006 That protosuit of yours keeps beeping.

1007 All day, all night, voices asking you to come back.

1008 Those Ranger hotshots are persistent.

1009 Yeah. Thanks, Grim. I'll turn it off in the morning.

1010 Hey. I remember this.

1011 You wandered into the garage and took my rocket sled for a test drive.

1012 No fear, no safety check, you just flipped the switch, and off you went.

1013 Took three police bots to chase you down and teach you how to stop!

1014 I guess I just wanted to do something big.

1015 I wanted to matter, you know?

1016 I ain't never been very good with advice.

1017 But I do know this.

1018 To be a hero, you don't have to do big things,

1019 just the right ones.

1020 That's actually not bad.

1021 Thank you.

1022 I have my moments.

1023 I'm okay.

1024 My dear, sweet Victor.

1025 You were a wonderful friend and companion.

1026 Honest. Loyal. Rusty.

1027 I mean, really rusty. I could hear you all the way across the station.

1028 But still, we honor you with this silent moment of reflection,

1029 as thanks for your sacrifice.

1030 You will be missed.

1031 Let's get this show on the road!

1032 Bring in New Quartu!

1033 Bring in New Quartu!

1034 Uh, how are things at home, Jeff?

1035 Great!

1036 It's beautiful.

1037 I did it, Father. I did it!

1038 - It's beautiful. - Uh...

1039 I thought I might find you here.

1040 Clank?

1041 I'm not going back, Clank.

1042 This is where I belong. You were right.

1043 Fame is overrated, especially when you're famous for causing a complete disaster.

1044 It was not a complete disaster.

1045 Authorities are calling it a "complete and utter disaster"...

1046 Sorry!

1047 The evacuation of Novalis was successful.

1048 No one was killed or injured.

1049 But those people lost their homes,

1050 and for that, I have to take full responsibility.

1051 Blaming yourself and taking responsibility are two very different things.

1052 If you truly want to be accountable,

1053 you will endeavor to make things right the next time.

1054 Next time?

1055 Drek has one more target on his list.

1056 With Captain Qwark now working for the enemy,

1057 the Rangers need you more than ever.

1058 And I would like to offer my assistance in any way possible,

1059 partner.

1060 Earthquake!

1061 What's that?

1062 Oh, I brought some friends.

1063 Okay, pity party's over. Time to get back to work.

1064 Listen, guys, I'm sorry I ran out on you like that.

1065 Even though I messed up, I should've stayed to fix it and see it through.

1066 Eh. We've all made bad choices. Here, check it out.

1067 My cadet photo.

1068 Really? That's how we're playing?

1069 Okay, uh, there's no need to embarrass anyone here.

1070 Okay, everyone, chill out!

1071 We have a job to do, and I need to start shooting at something immediately.

1072 Well, before we just go off and start shooting at things, I was thinking that...

1073 Yeah, get some.

1074 That's what I'm talking about.

1075 Forget it.

1076 No, wait. Go on.

1077 I think we need to hear what you both have to say.

1078 Well, while we can't move a planet out of the way...

1079 I was thinking, what if we could move the weapon targeting that planet?

1080 Move the Deplanetizer?

1081 Knock it off course.

1082 Okay. Awesome.

1083 And just how are we going to do that?

1084 Not sure yet. But I'm working on it.

1085 Hmm.

1086 I might have an idea.

1087 So after you pick up my dry cleaning,

1088 you need to polish the Segway, and after that...

1089 Drek, I want to talk to you.

1090 You tried to kill my Rangers! You said you'd leave them alone!

1091 And I meant it at the time!

1092 I detest bloodshed as much as any Blarg,

1093 but sometimes, sacrifices are necessary for the greater good.

1094 I know you're working with Nefarious on this.

1095 Yes, isn't it wonderful?

1096 We're all part of the same dream team.

1097 We should make T-shirts!

1098 You're making a big mistake.

1099 You have no idea the kinds of evil he's capable of.

1100 Oh, but I do.

1101 It's all right here on his résumé. Special skills...

1102 Horrendous evil. Unspeakable evil. Diabolical evil.

1103 He's very well-rounded.

1104 And apparently, he can juggle. Hmm.

1105 Oh-oh!

1106 Do I feel my ears burning?

1107 And there's our little juggling psychopath now!

1108 You died in a prison escape. There were witnesses.

1109 Oh.

1110 People will say and do just about anything

1111 for the right price.

1112 What was yours, Qwark?

1113 What was your price for selling out your friends?

1114 Your face on another cereal box, perhaps?

1115 Why don't you run along

1116 so the Chairman and I can get back to the business at hand?

1117 But what am I supposed to do?

1118 You can guard the Star Cracker water cooler.

1119 Oh! But with fury! Mmm-hmm.

1120 That was fun!

1121 And T-shirts would be a good idea. Good for morale.

1122 What do you think, Neffie? Should we...

1123 Sheepinator. One of my personal favorites.

1124 It's time for a change of management.

1125 Huh? Uh-oh...

1126 Okay, let's do this! We only got so much time to get it all done.

1127 Use that, whatever that's called. That's good. Okay.

1128 Right. Over here.

1129 Keep bringing it on in, ratcheting it on up, electrifying everything.

1130 Make sure everything's got electricity running through it, at least a little bit.

1131 That's good, too. Whatever that is, you're doing great.

1132 Okay.

1133 Hey, everybody! Get in here now!

1134 Uh, please.

1135 You're not going to believe this.

1136 We finally decoded the Deplanetizer plans.

1137 We found his next target. It's Umbris.

1138 Well, at least he picked an empty planet this time.

1139 Yes, however, it is a volatile planet.

1140 Its core is made up of pure melluvium.

1141 Blowing it up will result in a chain reaction that will destroy the entire system.

1142 But why would Drek do that?

1143 I thought he was trying to build the perfect planet?

1144 Well, because Umbris wasn't Drek's idea.

1145 Duh!

1146 What do you mean?

1147 It's Nefarious.

1148 Dr. Nefarious?

1149 No, Steve Nefarious. Of course it's Dr. Nefarious!

1150 Oh, yeah, funny how you didn't mention that

1151 when I was dangling you over the edge of a building.

1152 Well, you didn't ask, now did you?

1153 Okay, that's it. I'm shooting him.

1154 What? Don't shoot him.

1155 I am confused. I thought Nefarious was dead.

1156 Only on the inside.

1157 Otherwise, he's very much...

1158 Alive!

1159 Okay, shoot him.

1160 - You wanted New Quartu? - Huh?

1161 I'll give it to you.

1162 Happy trails!

1163 Now entering Umbris atmosphere.

1164 Yes, it's almost here.

1165 The beginning of the end.

1166 The end of what?

1167 Let the games begin.

1168 Remote detonation now activated.

1169 It is about to get real.

1170 We're as close as we can get without being spotted.

1171 Okay, so what's the plan, Elaris?

1172 Go on. We're listening.

1173 Well, I've been hard at work on a little something called

1174 the Hologuise.

1175 It'll project a visual and audible replication of Captain Qwark so realistic,

1176 it would fool his own mother.

1177 With Ratchet posing as Qwark, they'll dock with the Deplanetizer

1178 by easily fooling the simpleminded Blarg.

1179 Yes, Captain. What can I do you for?

1180 Greetings, citizen. Just returning from patrol.

1181 Copy that. Deactivating shield grid 24 A.

1182 Once inside, Ratchet and Clank will make their way

1183 through the Star Cracker chamber to the inner core.

1184 When Ratchet exposes the stabilizer, it can quickly be disconnected...

1185 Yes. Got it.

1186 Meanwhile, Clank will disable all the other weapons

1187 by hacking into the mainframe.

1188 Weapons system disabled.

1189 Leaving the Deplanetizer completely vulnerable to any outside forces.

1190 Warning. Warning. Core stabilizer offline.

1191 Run away! Everybody panic!

1192 - Warning. Warning. - What's happening?

1193 Warning. Core stabilizer offline.

1194 Dr. Nefarious, sir... I mean, Doctor!

1195 Where are you going?

1196 Me? Nowhere. Certainly not out of a system-wide blast radius.

1197 - What? - What?

1198 We've been infiltrated.

1199 The Galactic Rangers are trying to shut down the Deplanetizer,

1200 and I can't find Chairman Drek anywhere!

1201 Ah!

1202 You want something done right, you have to do it yourself.

1203 - Warning. Warning. - Huh?

1204 Core stabilizer offline.

1205 Everybody panic!

1206 Ratchet...

1207 And we're clear. All units, move in.

1208 Yeah! Way to go, you guys!

1209 Ratchet!

1210 Greetings, Cadet.

1211 Captain Qwark, on behalf of the Galactic Rangers,

1212 I'm placing you under arrest.

1213 You can't do that. I'll just arrest you right back!

1214 On what charge?

1215 False arrest? Being annoying? Who cares?

1216 You stabbed your own team in the back, Qwark!

1217 Just like you stabbed me in the back,

1218 taking my fans, my sponsors, my lucrative endorsement deals,

1219 my parking space!

1220 You were my hero.

1221 Now you're no better than Nefarious!

1222 How dare you.

1223 I am way better-looking than Nefarious!

1224 I'm taking you in.

1225 By force, if necessary.

1226 Oh, wittle wombax with a wittle gun!

1227 Huh.

1228 Qwark, stop! You don't want to do this!

1229 Don't tell me what I want to do!

1230 On your left, Ratchet. Now your right.

1231 Huh?

1232 Enough, Qwark!

1233 Whoa!

1234 Nefarious is tricking you! He wants you to destroy the entire system!

1235 Oh, that's right, you know everything.

1236 Uh-oh!

1237 Hey, why don't we all just listen to Ratchet?

1238 Ratchet, look out!

1239 Whoa!

1240 Oh, my.

1241 Buzz Blades? I taught you better than that!

1242 Some of it got in my mouth! It's in my mouth!

1243 He's just too good.

1244 Oh, dear.

1245 Whoa!

1246 Clank!

1247 Tornado Launcher!

1248 Nefarious may be a homicidal lunatic, but he sure can build a gun.

1249 Qwark, please! You're not a villain!

1250 You're not like Nefarious.

1251 This isn't you, and you know it!

1252 If Umbris is destroyed, everyone will die, including us!

1253 Is that how you want to be remembered?

1254 I'm... I'm sorry.

1255 I don't know how things got this far.

1256 This is just pathetic!

1257 Nefarious.

1258 Give it up. It's over.

1259 As head of the Galactic Rangers, uh,

1260 he's here to place you under arrest.

1261 Me?

1262 Absolutely.

1263 Arrest this man for his speakable crimes against the galaxy.

1264 My crimes?

1265 The real crime is how you treated me!

1266 The Rangers couldn't even give me a proper laboratory!

1267 We have an operational budget!

1268 You called me "King of the Nerd Herd!"

1269 It was a term of endearment!

1270 Day after day, I slaved away,

1271 creating all the weapons and devices

1272 that made you look like a hero.

1273 But you're not a hero. You're not even a good villain!

1274 You're the galaxy's biggest joke.

1275 Maybe.

1276 But now the last laugh is on you.

1277 Wait, what? That didn't make any sense.

1278 - Sure it did. - No, it didn't.

1279 It sounded like you were combining

1280 "The joke is on you" with "I'll have the last laugh."

1281 Take your pick.

1282 That's not how it works!

1283 Get ready to engage mag-boosters!

1284 Ratchet and Clank are still inside.

1285 Drek's going to fire at any moment! We don't have any more time!

1286 My point is, if you're going to use a one-liner, it should make sense,

1287 and be relevant to the situation!

1288 Look, I workshop thousands of these a year, and they can't all be gold!

1289 Now, put your hands in the air!

1290 Over your dead body!

1291 Whoa!

1292 Incoming.

1293 Whoa!

1294 Mommy!

1295 Dialing Mother.

1296 Hello, Horkelberg residence!

1297 Mag-boosters engaged!

1298 Full power!

1299 It's working.

1300 Stay with it.

1301 Steady now! Steady!

1302 Whoa!

1303 What's happening?

1304 Whoa!

1305 Deplanetizer now online.

1306 Qwark! Don't let him turn it on!

1307 Get off me, you has-been!

1308 You know, maybe Drek was right.

1309 I am a mad scientist.

1310 Whoo-hoo! They missed!

1311 Lousy, insolent, idiotic...

1312 Break off. Break off!

1313 Copy that.

1314 Ratchet, you have to get out of there now!

1315 Weapon locker depleted.

1316 Hmm.

1317 Yeah. We're working on it.

1318 No! My plan! You've ruined my plan!

1319 You've had this one coming a long time, Qwark!

1320 Of all my brilliant creations,

1321 it remains one of my favorites.

1322 Meet the RYNO,

1323 as in, "Rip You A New One."

1324 - Hey, Nefarious? - What?

1325 Meet the Omniwrench.

1326 Warning. Now entering Umbris atmosphere.

1327 Any ideas?

1328 Hmm.

1329 Come on, guys. Get out of there. Come on!

1330 They'll never make it out in time.

1331 We've got to help.

1332 It's too late. There's nothing we can do.

1333 We must find one of Drek's teleporters!

1334 - I saw one on the bridge! - Watch out!

1335 Hang on, boys.

1336 It's here! Hit the brakes!

1337 Relax, I know what...

1338 - Qwark! - Oh, no.

1339 I can't reach you in time. Just get out while you can!

1340 - Teleporter charging. - Hmm.

1341 What are you doing?

1342 Improvising!

1343 Oh!

1344 Are we dead?

1345 Huh?

1346 We are alive.

1347 All Rangers alive and accounted for.

1348 Whoo! Welcome back, Rangers! Good job!

1349 How many planets do you think I'll have to save for them to call me a hero again?

1350 You don't have to do big things to be a hero, Qwark.

1351 Just the right ones.

1352 Oh.

1353 I don't know, maybe it'll be worth something someday.

1354 Hmm.

1355 I must say that it is curious

1356 that the sudden cessation of velocity relative to our inertia

1357 did not cause either of you to...

1358 Oh, dear.

1359 Don't worry, Cadet. It happens to the best...

1360 Oh, that was terrible.

1361 Oh, boy.

1362 Make it stop!

1363 Should we go and join the others?

1364 I'd like to, but there's a promise I have to keep to an old friend.

1365 I understand.

1366 Don't worry. I'm sure we'll run into each other again someday.

1367 It's a small galaxy.

1368 Well, I suppose this is goodbye.

1369 You can let go now, Ratchet.

1370 Ah...

1371 Come on, what's the holdup?

1372 Paying good money for this.

1373 I haven't got all day!

1374 And that was the scene today

1375 as thousands gathered to welcome home the Galactic Rangers,

1376 making their triumphant return from saving our galaxy.

1377 Grateful citizens gathered at the famed Hall of Heroes

1378 to mark this day that will live in hearts and minds forever.

1379 As for Private Qwark, the recently demoted Ranger

1380 will embark upon his galaxy-wide apology tour

1381 while shamelessly promoting his new book,

1382 Listen, I Said I Was Sorry, All Right?

1383 When asked for a comment, the former captain had this to offer.

1384 Prepare to be blown away by my epic humility.

1385 There was, however, one curious absence from today's festivities,

1386 that of new Ranger sensation and media darling, Ratchet,

1387 leaving this reporter with one question.

1388 What does a Lombax do after saving the galaxy?

1389 We may never know.

1390 And now, a story about a baby glypod who can play the ukulele.

1391 Come on, we haven't got all day!

1392 We have 10 more proton scrubs to do before lunch if we want to stay on schedule!

1393 I've got to be honest, I kind of thought you'd be so touched by the gesture,

1394 you'd call us even.

1395 Well, you thought wrong, didn't you?

1396 Ah, keep your shirt on, I heard you. You see these ears?

1397 Hey! Wait! Wait! Please wait for me! I have abandonment issues!

1398 Might I offer a suggestion?

1399 Modifying that proton scrubber with a Gadgetron quasar flash

1400 would increase your efficiency by 47.4%.

1401 A quasar flash, huh? Gee, I don't know.

1402 That kind of tech takes two to operate.

1403 And Grim's not as nimble as he used to be.

1404 Then perhaps I could remain here and assist,

1405 if you do not mind me staying around a while.

1406 You kidding?

1407 Things have been way too quiet without you around.

1408 I do bring a certain level of zing to the table, don't I?

1409 Yeah, Clank. You're a real wild one.

1410 Speaking of which,

1411 am I to assume that you have retired from the Galactic Rangers?

1412 Nah. Once a Ranger, always a Ranger.

1413 Believe me, the minute somebody tries to blow up another planet, I'll be ready to go.

1414 But, hey, what are the odds of that happening?

1415 Precisely 87,534 to one.

1416 Yep. A real wild one.

1417 No! Get away from me!

1418 Do not stick that thing in...

1419 Oh! Oh! Oh!

1420 Quit trying to repair me, you moron!

1421 I am not a robot!

1422 Huh? Are you still here?

1423 All the logos and doohickeys already went by.

1424 That means it's over. Move along.

1425 No extra little scene at the end of the movie.

1426 If I find out who started that nonsense, why, I'm going to plant my boot so far up...

1427 I said, beat it!

1428 Sheesh!