Qwark

"Despite my outward appearance of utter perfection, well... Deep inside, you're a cowardly wuss?"

- Captain Qwark and Ratchet

Copernicus Leslie Qwark, or Captain Qwark, who has also gone under many aliases, is a fraudulent "superhero" from the Solana Galaxy. Although he is thought by most of the galactic populace to be a hero of the people, he is actually a greedy coward who will work with or for anyone to get publicity or money (though since the end of "Up Your Arsenal" he has become much more moral despite being no less cowardly). He is also known to be somewhat stupid, and doesn't realize when he is being tricked or used. He wears green tights with a blue stripe down the middle and a blue and black atom with a lightning bolt that vaguely resembles the letter Q. He also wears a yellow belt on his waist and has an antenna on his head. Initially, Qwark is portrayed as the greatest hero of all time, however, he is nothing more than a "pretty-boy," endorsement fiend who receives credit for acts of bravery that he had nothing to do with. He has been known to double-cross his allies. It can be implied that he has a bad habit of working with short bad guys, since he allied with both Chairman Drek and Emperor Percival Tachyon, who each fit the description perfectly.

Ratchet & Clank
We first see Qwark on a poster in Ratchet's Garage and is mentioned to be on the radio every week according to Ratchet. We then see Qwarks head in shadows and is told to "take care" of Ratchet and Clank after they fly away from Veldin. He is then featured in an Infobot for Metropolis advertising Al's Roboshack (and not letting Al get a word in). Also in the advert he is seen fighting a Blargian Snagglebeast and his gun running out.

When Ratchet and Clank go to Metropolis they find a Qwark-Bot introducing his Qwark Training Course. They then meet Helga claiming that Qwark knows about them. The two go to Blackwater City and win a Hoverboard Race and Qwark appears on a screen awarding the prize to Ratchet (although it is probably recorded as a computer voice says Ratchet and Clanks names). The two then meet Qwark in person in his trailer after bribing his Bouncer. The two then startle Qwark and then Qwark claims he knows who they are and he knows about Drek's plans. He then gives Ratchet an Infobot for his HQ on planet Umbris.

In the infobot Qwark explains his training course and gets confused. The two arrive and Qwark meets them in his helicopter with a mega-phone telling the pair they had to complete his training course. The two complete the course and Qwark is waiting for them and tricks them into stepping into the "Ring of Heros" which was actually a trap door. The pair end up in the Blargian Snagglebeasts pit and Qwark reveals his plans. It turned out that he was the spokesman for Drek's new planet and he didn't want Ratchet and Clank getting in the way, so he left them for the snagglebeast.

Unfortunatly for him they survived and escaped. He then met with Drek who got very angry with Qwark and claims that the next time he makes Qwark do a job he wants results. The next time we see Qwark is later on in the game when Drek wants him to confront Ratchet and Clank (who he has already forgotten). Drek led him to his personal shuttle and Qwark thought it was a photoshoot, but Drek told him he had to take the shuttle (which was as small as Drek) and to use Drek's Starfighter at the Gemlik Base. He made him use it as Drek claimed Qwark was too washed up for ground combat. So Qwark went there and met Ratchet and got engaged in a space battle.

Qwark fired Mines and Torpedos at Ratchet and made confident taunting comments to Ratchet. Eventually Ratchet was defeating Qwark and Qwark started to be nice, but Ratchet shot him down to planet Oltanis. Qwark apparently took a job selling Gadgetron Gadgets under the name of "Steve McQwark" (although he didn't wear a disguise so it was obvious it was him). He met Ratchet on Oltanis and Qwark pretended he never met him before, but nearly gave away his identity when he almost said "Qwarktastic". He sold Ratchet the PDA.

He is seen on an advert at the end of the game advertising the Personal Hygienator and demonstrating its uses which were apparently quite gruesome (although Ratchet mentions he has one in Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando).

Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando
"So, you've tested this, right? Oh, wait, that's why I'm here. Hahahaha... Oh, one more thing... Aghhhhhhh..."-Captain Qwark during Crotchitizer testing.

Qwark doesn't have a very big appearance in the game, but he is very much in the plot. We first see him in the Behind the Hero series in which it claims that after Qwark was humiliated by Ratchet and Clank he started selling defective gadgets (such as the Personal Hygienator and the PDA) which he claimed were Gadgetron products. The authorities were then alerted to Qwarks scam and he was taken to court.

In court he was ordered to pay 6,000,000,000 Bolts to everyone suffering from Personal Hygienator Syndrome, but then he tried flee to Pokitaru. He was found and placed in jail, but he escaped by flushing himself down the toilet. There were then many speculations about what happened to him since he escaped such as being a victim of die-hard fan, dying heroically or whether he is still out there.

Near the end of the game the Female Infobot shows Ratchet and Clank a clip of Qwark pretending to be "Steve McQwark" (and now wearing a fake pink moustache) selling another Personal Hygienator and claiming that he now had enough to finance the return of Captain Qwark and claims he is going to save the Bogon Galaxy from the Protopet menace. It was then revealed that he has been disguised as Mr. Fizzwidget all this time.

He then goes live on TV and claims that the Protopet outbreak was Ratchet, Clank and Angela's fault and he tried to fix the Protopets Monstrosity using his (really Angela's) Helix-O-Morph, but it went wrong and turned the protopet into a giant mutant which swallowed Qwark whole. The others then fought it and defeated it making it spit out Qwark and making him spit out the Helix-O-Morph. It then turned out that the Helix-O-Morph's batteries were in backwards, making Qwark say a very innocent "Oops".

After everything was fixed he took up a job at Megacorp working as a test dummy. He was shown talking to other Test-Bots and then being called in for a Crotchitizer testing. He was then strapped onto the wall and he asked the test-bots if they tested it and remembered why he was there. The game ends with the Crotchitizer going towards Qwarks crotch and him screaming in pain.

Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal
We first see a glimpse of Qwark on Nature's Mysteries telling the story of the Florana Tree Beast (which is Qwark) and someone claims Qwark ran through there campsite butt naked. When Ratchet and Clank arrive at Florana looking for the "Tree Beast" they find him with a mask on (explaining why they don`t recognize him at first, his costume torn in some places and what appears to be a tattoo down his left shoulder. He then makes Ratchet and Clank go down the "Path of Death" which is a obstacle course.

Once they completed it Ratchet & Clank tried to get answer out of him and Ratchet claims "this guys as stupid as..." Then Skrunch the monkey on his shoulder pulls his mask of revealing his face (it could be seen that he has blond hair (also a blond beard for the time). to Clank who finishes Ratchets sentence by gasping "Captain Qwark". Qwark had apparently gone mad and forgotten everything. Qwark attacked them and Ratchet and Clank defeated him making him think Ratchet was the "Tree Beast" as Qwark`s mask fell on Ratchet`s face. The four then (Ratchet, Clank, Qwark and Skrunch) squeeze into Ratchets ship and are told to go to the Starship Phoenix.

When they arrive Qwark and Skrunch get put in a cage. Later on Ratchet and Clank return from a mission with a Qwark Vid-comic and play it. This jolts Qwarks memory and he has a flashback (with images of the last to games) and suddenly turns back into his self obsessed character and claiming that this place (the cage) is a rubbish dressing room. While Ratchet and Clank are away on a mission Qwark takes control of the Starship Phoenix from Captain Sasha, as he had faced Dr. Nefarious before and assembled a his Q-Force.

When Ratchet and Clank returned Qwark introduced them to the Q-Force which constited of Captain Qwark, Skrunch (dressed in a Qwark outfit), Al, Skid McMarx, Helga, Sasha, Ratchet and Clank. He then sets a new mission for Ratchet and Clank and shows them a crayon drawn plan on lined paper explaining that he would humbly step aside for this mission and let Ratchet and Clank take it. It was to Aquatos and Dr. Nefarious Deep Sea Base. Qwark then takes up a place in the main seat of the Phoenix Control Room. When Ratchet and Clank returned Qwark had another mission for them as he wanted them to go to Tyhrranosis and showed the plan (again drawn with crayon). When Ratchet asked what the others will be doing Qwark explained they would be thinking of him, but then tells Helga its because its meatloaf day.

Throughout the game, Qwark also uses the intercom frequently, warning Ratchet to change into his "Regulation Green Q-Force Tights" before he wrote the lombax up for a dress-code violation, activating the Phoenix's auto-destruct sequence (He wondered what the big red shiny button did), and congratulating Skrunch on his promotion to Chief Science Officer over Al.

Ratchet and Clank go on to defeat the Momma Thyrranoid on Tyhrranosis and Qwark arrives just in time as Darla Gratch turns up for an interview and Qwark takes the credit and claims he couldn't do it without his "Iron Hard" abs. Later on Clank is kidnapped and replaced by Klunk who tells them that Nefarious is at the Zeldrin Starport. So Ratchet, Klunk, Qwark and Skrunch went to the starport and got into a shuttle to go to Nefariouses ship which was refueling. After a comically disastrous short journey to the ship they arrived.

Qwark claims that another of his brilliant schemes had worked. The four then found Nefarious who had tricked them and started the self-destruct sequence and teleported out. While Ratchet, Klunk and Skrunch started to escape Qwark ran to where Nefarious was claiming he saw something and he would meet them back at the Phoenix. The three made it to the shuttle were Ratchet sat patiently waiting for Qwark when Klunk started the ship leaving Qwark behind. The ship then crashed on planet Zeldrin apparently killing Qwark.

When Ratchet, Klunk and Skrunch returned the Q-Force gave Qwark a memorial service and Helga claimed they would frolic over the obstacle course. When it came to Ratchet all he could say is he was really tall and he had a chin shaped like a butt. Later on Ratchet, Clank (who had been rescued by Ratchet) and Skrunch went to the Crash Site on Planet Zeldrin to look for what Qwark went back for. The three then found an escape shuttle with a Data Disk and Clank found a message from Qwark dressed as a woman and asking for a taxi and promising more bolts to keep it secret. He also asked the Taxi Driver if he had replacement batteries for a pocket Crotchitizer.

Clank then thought Qwark had a sister, but Ratchet figured out it was him. When the three returned to the Phoenix they decided not to tell the Q-Force and were suspicious of Qwark as they recalled his alliance with Chairman Drek and the Protopet menace. Later on Al found a secret Vid-comic in Qwarks quarters and Ratchet played it. It showed Qwarks Secret HQ on the Thrann Asteroid. So Ratchet, Clank and Skrunch traveled there and after battling through waves of Qwark-Bots they found Qwark.

Qwark was in his bedroom (which had many images of Qwark and his logo) and dressed in his pjamas. Skrunch went to Qwark first and Qwark asked how Skrunch found him. Ratchet and Clank then arrived and Qwark explained that he ran away as he could of died and he claimed the universe could not live without Captain Qwark. Ratchet walks away claiming Qwark was pathetic and Clank stopped and told Qwark he could be the hero he always wanted to be if he helped them defeat Nefarious. After they left Qwark looked over to his costume considering what Clank said.

Later on Ratchet and Clank confront Nefarious and he gets into his Bio-Bliterator which turns into a massive robot. Qwark comes screaming in on his shuttle resulting in a team-up between him and Ratchet & Clank, who board a nearby Hovership. Ratchet, Clank and Qwark eventually defeat Nefarious and Qwark is very much redeemed after his previous actions. Qwark is present at the premiere of the new Secret Agent Clank movie with Skrunch.

Vid-comics
Qwark is also featured in the Qwark Vid-comics which during his early adventures:


 * Vid-Comic 1 - Booty is in the Eye of the Beholder
 * Vid-Comic 2 - Arriba Amoeba
 * Vid-Comic 3 - Shadow of the Robot
 * Vid-Comic 4 - Deja Q All Over Again
 * Vid-Comic 5 - The Shaming of the Q

Ratchet: Deadlocked
Qwark is not featured at all in this game. However, he does make a cameo appearance near the end. He assures Ratchet (ironically) that there has been no kidnapping of heroes since nobody has come to kidnap him. According to the epilogue, he is still living in blissful ignorance with his monkey friend.

This ending is a bit strange because, while Ratchet and Clank know that Qwark is not really a hero, the rest of the galaxy believes he is (Although it is plausible that Vox, through many connections and sources happens to know of Qwark's true nature and that explains why he was not captured).

Ratchet & Clank: Size Matters
We first see Captain Qwark in this game on Pokitaru while Ratchet and Clank are talking to Luna he is hiding behind a newspaper and wearing a hat. Clank then notices him and tricks him by saying he (Clank) is here to follow Ratchet and Clank around to be part of there latest adventure and Qwark blurts out thats why he was there too.

Clank then asked if he had anywhere else to be like with his family making Qwark begin to cry when Ratchet comes in and comments on Qwarks hat while he was crying so Ratchet thought he offended him. Qwark then explains he never knew his family and he was adopted by monkeys on Florana (which explains his trip there).

Then Luna is kidnapped so Ratchet and Clank go after her with Qwark in tow. The two make it to a landing pad to see Luna being taken away while Qwark makes it up out of breath claiming that was quite a jog. He then spots the Technomite Artefact that Clank was holding and got very excited claiming he has heard of the Technomites. Ratchet and Clank go to Ryllus and tell Qwark to leave them alone.

What they didn't know was Qwark had grabbed the back of there ship and went to Ryllus with them. When they landed Qwark fell off the ship. While Ratchet and Clank were deciding where to go Qwark was leaning against there ship and told them they should go that way that he was pointing to. After annoying Ratchet he claimed he could help them as he had been to Ryllus before. Ratchet agreed and Qwark asked what was in it for him and Ratchet told him he could the ships computer to find his family tree.

So Qwark started looking on the computer and Ratchet asked him where to go and Qwark said in the big building as everything seems to be in the big buildings. The three then went to Kalidon and as soon as they landed Qwark squeezed out of the ship (somehow fitting in it) screaming that he found his parents on a website called faux-family.com which Clank thought was a bit odd. Qwark then ran off into the Technomite factory to find his dad wishing good luck to Ratchet and Clank on there adventure.

Later on when Ratchet and Clank were about to leave Challax looking for Emperor Otto Destruct when they found Qwark who told them by there ship. He was extremely excited and was to tell Ratchet and Clank that his father was "the leader of the..." when Ratchet cut him off and flew away leaving Qwark looking sad. Later on Quodrona Ratchet and Clank had fought Ratchet Clones when Qwark appeared huge (as Otto was tiny and Ratchet and Clank had turned small to find him) and called Otto papa.

Otto then ordered him to get Ratchet and Clank so he grabbed them and Otto took Ratchet's Shrink Ray and shrunk Qwark and made himself big. Qwark then questioned why he did this and Otto claimed that he had to take care of Qwarks "playmates" (Ratchet and Clank). After a fight between Giant Clank and a massive Otto Qwark turned up on Otto's foot asking for a piggy back ride. Otto then tried make Qwark smaller with the Shrink Ray but accidentally hit himself. Ratchet and Clank then fought Otto and defeated him.

Skrunch then turned up with an old newspaper showing Qwark's real parents who Clank identified were once great heroes and were killed by defective Technomite technology. Ratchet then made Qwark normal size. When Qwark saw this he went berserk claiming Otto used Qwark for his own selfish needs. So he put Otto in Otto's Intelligence Machine and wanted to put his mind into Otto's claiming that Otto was going to get the opposite of intelligence (which he couldn't remember the name of) and was about to press the button when Ratchet, Clank and Otto tried to talk him out of it, but he didn't care.

So Otto shrunk Qwark (so he wouldn't fit in the machine) with the Shrink Ray while Skrunch jumped into the machine and Ratchet, trying to get the Shrink Ray back, fell onto the button, giving Otto the intelligence of a monkey. Ratchet, Clank and a tiny Qwark flew away.

Later the three appeared in Clank's Apartment and Qwark was explaining one of his "heroic deeds" on Oceana 8 to three Battle Ratchets who ran away unimpressed. Ratchet then claimed that "He (Qwark) may be small but his egos still big".

His appearance in the next game shows that he was returned to normal size.

Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction
"Ratchet? Clank? I've, uh... got a bit of a situation here at the Planetary Defense Centre. Nothing I can't handle, mind you, just a few... thousand... heavily armed robotic commandos, but I figured, hey, if you're in the neighborhood, maybe you... AAAAAAAGH!!! WAIT! I'M TOO HANDSOME TO DIE!"

- Captain Qwark being attacked by Drophyd troopers

In Tools of Destruction Captain Qwark appears on the opening giving a distress call to Ratchet & Clank telling them he is under attack by a few thousand heavily armed robotic commandos that are attacking Metropolis. The duo head for the defense centre fighting the attack along the way. When they get there they listen to his answer machine and then get attacked by Emperor Percival Tachyon's army of Drophyds. Later when the duo are exploring Fastoon the duo receive a Holo-vite from Qwark (using an alias). When Ratchet repairs Aphelion he then asks her if she will play it for them. Qwark then tells about the Imperial Fight Festival. When Ratchet and Clank get to Mukow they meet Qwark at the arena where he gives Ratchet a disguise. After Ratchet beats the arena challenges Qwark congratulates the duo and tells them they remind him of when he was a young fighter. Ratchet asks Qwark to tell him why he is working for Tachyon Qwark tells him its just a little thing he likes to call saving the universe. He then makes up a pathetic story about what he did back on Kerwan.

"Outstanding work, strangers I've never met. And now, the fruits of your labour: One Holo-Pirate Disguise, perfect for parties and other undercover mis-adventures, and for the little guy, a copy of my new exercise book, Body by Qwark. Now you, too, can have the calves of a champion." "Did you call us here for a reason or are you just trying to get us killed?" "Can it be both?"

- Captain Qwark and Ratchet

Later on Sargasso after talking to the Plumber Qwark contacts them asking where they have been and tells them he needs at the arena right away. After beating the next IFF challenges Qwark congratulates them and pretends they are strangers giving Ratchet the Holo-Pirate Disguise and Clank a new copy of his exercise book, Body By Qwark. He gave them an Infobot he found in Tachyon's underwear drawer and they watched a show about IRIS on The Polaris Compendium of Historical Importantness. After a while the duo head to Zordoom Prison when Clank is trying to convince Ratchet that the Dimensionator must be destroyed Qwark asks if he called at a bad time and shows the duo a pathetic drawing of Zordoom Prison and says to infiltrate it Ratchet codenamed dead meat must go on the grind rail of certain death, traverse the walkway of tortured souls and ascend into the mouth of the jellied jackyl. After they got out of the prison Qwark contacted Ratchet telling him he managed to steal coordinates to Kerchu City right off of Tachyon's personal computer. Later after the duo defeated Captain Slag on the Ublik Passage Qwark came and took the Dimensionator telling them that he is showing the Universe that hes a superhero and said he was going to hurl the Dimensionator into a black hole. Later on Reepor we see him pinned down by Tachyon who threatened and insulted him he will take care of his deceitfulness later and calling him a half wit when he said another stupid thing. Meanwhile in Meridian City when the duo are fighting off the Cragmite attack Qwark sends multiple distress calls to Ratchet and Clank telling them that he is being held by Tachyon. When they release him he acts like a failure as he said I DON'T DESERVE THESE ROCK HARD ABS, THESE CHISELED FEATURES, THESE IMBULBIOS BOULBOS BUTT OX I'M NO SUPERHERO I AM CAPTAIN QWARK NO MORE, Then Ratchet told him to get a hold of him self. After Ratchet has defeated Tachyon, Rusty Pete tries to teach Qwark to speak like a pirate but does it pathetically of course making pete say how did you ever become the captain of anything, then he tried it one more time and pete said "I'm gonna need more grog". At the end Clank is taken by the Zoni and Qwark fell into a deep sadness along with and everybody else as they were all wondering what would happen to Clank.

Aliases

 * Steve McQwark
 * Stefan Qwarkanopolus
 * Finnegan O'Qwarksalot
 * Walter Qwarkowski
 * Herschel Qwarkenstein
 * John Guincy Qwark
 * Lucius Von Qwark
 * Shirley Biggums
 * Florana Tree Beast

Appearances
Qwark is the only character, aside from Ratchet & Clank themselves, to have made a credited appearance in every game so far.


 * Ratchet & Clank
 * Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando
 * Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal
 * Ratchet: DeadlockedCameo
 * Ratchet & Clank: Size Matters
 * Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction