User:Thatawesomecat/My Sandbox4


 * Watch longplay, get the stuff and whatever
 * Transcribe Vid comics, figure out where to put all that
 * Get mission names, therefore getting cutscene names too

Intro
Ratchet: Ha! My Blargian snagglebeast devours your mutant swamp fly. I bet you didn't see that one coming!

Clank: Check... and mate.

Ratchet: What!! That's cheating!

Clank: On the contrary, the rules clearly state that the Blargian snagglebeast has an allergic reaction to swamp flies that lasts two turns.

Clank: Ooh, it is on again!

Maktar Casino 12:31 AM

Max Million: Your luck is extraordinary, Sir. But do you lose as gracefully as you win?

Clank: I wouldn't know, Max Millian. I never lose.

Max Million: There is a first time for everything, Agent Clank!

Max Million: Ha! So much for Secret Agent Cl...

Clank: Shocking.

Clank: Pull the car around, Jeeves. And mind the ejector seat this time.

Ratchet: (sighs)

Announcer: Stay tuned for more Secret Agent Clank!

Ratchet: Change the Channel.

Clank: But the man said to stay tuned.

Darla Gratch: We are continuing our live coverage of the invasion of Planet Veldin. Just hours ago, this backwater planet was invaded by a race known as the Tyhrranoids. The Galactic Rangers are putting up a brave fight, but they don't really stand much chance of defeating the attackers. This reporter believes that Veldin will be destroyed in a matter of hours. Darla Gratch, Channel 64 News.

Ratchet: They, are going, to pay.

Clank: But Veldin is in the Solana Galaxy!

Clank: Oh, No. Not the Gravimetric Warp Drive.

Clank: The un-tested Gravimetric Warp Drive.

Clank: The one you built from Blargian Scrap Metal.

Ratchet: You coming?

Clank: We are doomed.

Clank: I stand corrected.

New Sarge
Ranger 1: Look, a new sarge!

Ranger 2: Here Sarge, you can have my gun.

Nitro
Ranger 1: We need someone to take out that ship.

Ratchet: Let me guess, that person is me?

Ranger 1: We got a volunteer!

Ranger 2: Take this!

Scrap Metal
Ratchet: What's the situition?

Ranger 1: There's a bunch of 'noids in F sector.

Ranger 2: F Sector? No way man! We'll be scrap metal!

Ratchet: Get in there, soldiers.

Rangers: Sir, Yes Sir!

A Secret Transmission
Ranger: We have a transmission from the President.

President Phyronix: Is that Secret Agent Clank?

Clank: We are here to help.

President Phyronix: I have recieved a top-secret report on the whereabouts of the one man that has defeated Dr Nefarious. Take a look at this.

Announcer: On tonight's episode of Nature's Mysteries, we examine the Florana Tree Beast. Deep in the dense growth of Florana's forest lives a mysterious creature. Or maybe, he doesn't. It's one of Nature's Mysteries!

Man: I seen 'im run right through our camping site. He was butt ugly, and holdin' a banana. Or maybe it wasn't a banana. It could be...

Announcer: One of Nature's Mysteries! Legend tells that this mysterious creature is actually one of the greatest super-heros that ever lived. Find out the answers next time on Nature's Mysteries!

Ratchet: Are you sure this guy's the person your looking for? He seems a little, Wacko!

President Phyronix: Maybe, but he's the best chance we've got.

Behind You
Clank: We have company!

Ratchet: Where?

Clank: Behind you!

Ratchet: Where?

Clank: Behind you!

Ratchet: Very funny, I hope you're having a good ti...Ahh

Florana Tree Beast: You are trespassing on sacred ground. You must walk Path of Death. Path of Death!

Captain Qwark!
Ratchet: We walked your Path of Death. Now tell us what you know about Dr Nefarious!

Florana Tree Beast: Hmmmm?

Ratchet: This guy's even more stupid than...

Clank: Captain Qwark!

Ratchet: That's it, Qwark, you've had this coming for a long time.

Incoming Call
Ratchet: How do I look?

Clank: Just keep the mask on. He thinks you are his new leader.

Clank: Incoming call.

Sasha Phyronix: This is Captain Sasha Phyronix of the Starship Phoenix speaking. I see you have located Captain Qwark.

Ratchet: Yeah, we got him, but, he thinks he's a monkey.

Sasha Phyronix: I see. Bring him to the Phoenix, and we'll see what we can do.

Will You Marry Me?
Ratchet: Look Clank, this ship is amazing!

Sasha Phyronix: Welcome to The Phoenix, boys. The pride of the Galactic fleet, The Phoenix is fitted with a virtual firing range, vendors for armor and weapons, and a Gadgetron VG-9000 games system.

Ratchet: A VG-9000!

Sasha Phyronix: With a Mavix Fireball-Pro controller, VR headset and Zero-g dance pad attachment.

Ratchet: Will you marry me?

Sasha Phyronix: (laughs) You've obviously had a long trip. Why don't you go check out your quarters. We've prepared a special living area for Qwark, so he won't getin your way. Come meet me on the bridge when you're ready.

Dad!
Sasha Phyronix: We're loosing the signal. Try boosting the power.

President Phyronix: Thyrranoid invasion force- presidential compound breached- can't hold out much longer-

Sasha Phyronix: Mr President! Dad!

Nefarious: Greetings, robots. Too long have we suffered under the squishiness and foul stench of organic life forms. Soon, you will have the pleasure of my benevolent, iron-fisted rule. And as for you filthy organic life forms, you can look forward to being ANNIHILATED! That's all for now.

Ratchet: We'll meet you on Planet Marcadia.

Greetings
Ranger: Glad you could make it, Sarge. The presidential compound is on the other side of the city.

Good With His Hands
President Phyronix: I'm glad you two came. Who says you can't find good help these days, eh Clank?

Clank: Thank you Sir.

President Phyronix: What's the Qwark situation?

Clank: He has lost his memory.

President Phyronix: Well you'll need to find it then. We need our star player back in the game ASAP.

R&C: Yes sir.

President Phyronix: Ratchet, I hear you're a man who's good with his hands.

Ratchet: Sir, I swear I never...

President Phyronix: The city's laser shield system went down. We're defenseless without it. I sent a repair man a couple of hours ago. I need you to find out what's happened to him.

Ratchet: Yes Sir!

First Edition
Ratchet: Look, it's Al.

Al: Silence. I'm concentrating.

Ratchet: Isn't that a Qwark Vid-comic?

Al: Excuse me, it is a historically accurate, interactive graphic novel.

Ratchet: How can you use the city's defense system to play a video game?

Al: Simple. I reprogrammed the moniter....

Ratchet: Clank, you speak, er, nerd.

Clank: There appears to be a feedback loop in your induction system.

Al: Impossible! A ran a check. Hey! There is a loop.

Overhead speaker: Shield power restored.

Ratchet: Can we borrow that vid-comic?

Al: Treat it gently, it is a first edition.

Ratchet: Maybe this'll help get Qwark's memory back.

VG Wizard
Ratchet: Watch and learn, Clank. This is how the real heroes get it done.

(Qwark vid comic stuff goes here? Why didn't the guy do it?)

Flashback
Qwark: Well who's that handsome fellow. Who's running this place? This dressing room isn't fit for a pig!

Sasha Phyronix: He may need a little time to adjust. Meanwhile, I've got a perfect mission for you. I've just heard about a prototype hologuise device which can disguise someone as a tyhrranoid. It's the grand prize on this week's Annihilation Nation. Take a look at this.

Annihilation Nation
Announcer: Welcome to Annihilation Nation! Today's victim, oops, I mean contestant is ..... Fred! Fred is a Gadgetron accountant who claims that once a Morph-o-ray went off in his pants! What a champ! Lets see what he's up against!

Announcer: Doesn't look too hard, does it?

Announcer: Next!

Ratchet: Another day, another deathcourse.

Ladies
Announcer: Please welcome, our next contestant! He's an unemployed rocket mechanic who claims to have saved two galaxies, but most of us know him as Secret Agent Clank's bumbling sidekick. Please welcome, Ratchet! Ratchet hopes that the Tyhrra-guise will make him more attractive to the ladies!

Ratchet: Hey!

Announcer: Ratchet will try to be the first person ever to survive the deathcourse! Contestant number one, are you ready?

Ratchet: Bring it on!

Log Entry
Announcer: And here to present the prize, the lovely Miss Courtney Gears!

Announcer: What d'you know, folks? He IS better looking!

Sasha Phyronix: Ahh!

Clank: Do not be alarmed. This, is Ratchet.

Sasha Phyronix: Oh. Well you're not going to believe this, but the President put Qwark in charge of the fight against Nefarious! Look at this.

Qwark: Log entry number 101. After defeating Dr Nefarious, I focused my attention on the needy one-eyed monkeys of the Florana jungle. I still yearn for that bitter-sweet stench of my banana-eating friends. But when I heard that Dr Nefarious had risen again, I returned to become the legendary superhero, CAPTAIN Qwark!

Sasha Phyronix: Qwark's just called his first meeting, you'd better get back to the Phoenix right away.

Q
Qwark: Ladies, gentlemen, oh, and Helga, you have been assembled here because of your skills, from Al's mastery of electronics, to Skidd McMarx's nerves of steel, to Helga's powers of seduction, Rraagh! Each of you has proven worthy to wear the Q! Our first mission will be to infiltrate Nefarious' top secret base on planet Aquatos. Impossible, you say? Perhaps for a lesser strategist. Behold, my brilliant plan!

Qwark: First, Ratchet and Clank will wade through a series of tunnels of waist-high raw sewage.

Ratchet: What?!

Qwark: Please hold your questions until the end of the presentation. Then our agents must split up. Clank will enter the ventilation shaft, where he will deploy this Banana Guided Autonomus Monkey Device, or the BGAMD. Ratchet will use his knowledge of the Tyhhranoid language and customs to win the trust of the alien guards, sneak into Nefarious' personal office, steal everything that isn't nailed down, and exfiltrate the base completely undetected!

Ratchet: That's crazy!

Qwark: But it just might work!

Bubby
Ratchet: Oh no!

Director: Clank! Bubby! You're killing me! I'm trying to make a picture here, but mister bigshot star is nowhere to be found.

Clank: I am currently occupied with a mission of galactic security.

Director: I see. You want a bigger trailer? Done. Daily oil massage? Done. I need my star back!

Ratchet: (Makes fuzzing sounds) I think we're (fuzz) breaking up (fuzz).

Director: You know I can see you, weasel boy.

Ratchet: Oh yeah! How about now!

Ratchet: He'll figure something out, we've got work to do!

Shadow Dude
Ratchet: Skidd? What're you doing here?

Skidd McMarx: The code-name's Shadow Dude. Black ops are my specialty.

Ratchet: I think we've got this one covered.

Skidd McMarx: Alright, I'll just take my Hacker and go back up to the ship.

Ratchet: Hacker? On second thought, welcome to the team, Shadow Dude.

Skidd McMarx: Awesome, this is gonna be sick!

Slim Dealings
Slim Cognito: Psst!

Clank: We are not alone.

Skidd McMarx: Um, I, er, forget to feed my, er, goldfish. I'll meet you back at the...

Slim Cognito: Psst!

Skidd McMarx: Ahhh!

Ratchet: Slim Cognito? What are you doing here?

Slim Cognito: I need a quieter place to do business. I had a small run in with the cops, involving a Suck Cannon upgrade mistakenly sold to a minor. I swear the kid looked 18! So anyway, I take it you two are still in the market?

Ratchet: Well, let's see what you've got.

SOAQ!
Clank: Here's the ventilation shaft. We must split up here.

Ratchet: I guess it's time to put on the Tyhrraguise, and go meet my new pals.

Ratchet: (In Tyhrranese) How do you work this thing?

Clank: Perhaps you should have read the instruction manual.

Ratchet: (In Tyhrranese) What instruction manual?

Clank: It was nice knowing you.

Ratchet: (In Tyhrranese) Son of a Qwark!

Monkeying Around
Clank: No monkeying around, we're on an important mission. Hmmm, monkeying!

Skrunch: (Monkey sounds)

Clank: Ahem, we are on an important mission!

G5
Clank: I need you to rasie the bridge at junction G5.

Ratchet: (In Tyhrranese) I'm on it.

Disturbing
Ratchet: Clank! What are you doing here!?

Clank: I thought I would help.

Ratchet: Look, he has the entire Secret Agent Clank holo-vid collection!

Clank: That's, disturbing. I have downloaded an encrypted star map.

Ratchet: Maybe Al can decode it. Let's go.

Something Special
Ratchet: Deja-vu!

Plumber: Oof! Oh, it's you two again. What're you doing here?

Ratchet: We were just passing through.

Plumber: Oh. This here's one the stinkiest sewers in the galaxy. Most people stay away, but me? I just can't get enough. Oh, and by the way, if you find me any sewer crystals, I'll pay you, in bolts. I'm making something special for the missus.

Ratchet: Sewer crystals? OK.

Bowels
Plumber: Mmm, fresh from the bowels of a king amoeboid.

Ratchet: (Gags)

Dirty Laundry
Lawrence: Sorry to disturb your work, sir, but you may want to know that your impenetrable base on planet Aquatos has been penetrated.

Nefarious: What! Who is responsible for this outrage!

Lawrence: I believe it was Captain Qwark, or something.

Nefarious: Qua-

Lance: Oh Janice, you'll always be the love of my life.

Lawrence: He has also assembled a group of elite agents, known as the Q-force.

Nefarious: What! Eradicate them! Annihilate them all!

Lawrence: It's on my to-do list. Right after folding your under-garments.

Disgusting
(Upon giving all sewer crystals to the plumber.) Ratchet: That's the last of 'em. So what exactly are sewer crystals?

Plumber: You don't want to know.

Meatloaf
Qwark: I think some congratulations are in order. MY plan went even better than expected! Well?

Skidd McMarx: Uh, way to go, dude?

Qwark: Don't mention it! I was just doing my job. Anyway, now we know exactly where the Tyhrranoids a coming from. So, with utter disregard for my own safety, I have concocted a plan for an attack on Tyhrranosis!

Qwark: First, I shall humbly step aside to let Ratchet take out the mortar launchers at the landing site. Then the dropship will make it's descent. Using the assault vehicle, Ratchet will make his way to the four plasma cannons and destroy them. Finally, Ratchet will personally lead the assault on the main enemy base.

Qwark: Yes, you there at the front.

Ratchet: Uh yeah hi. What are you guys going to be doing while I'm out there getting blasted?

Qwark: We'll be monitoring the situation. Closely. From here. Actually we'll be at the lunch buffet on deck 5. It's meatloaf day! But we'll be rooting for you every step of the way!

Skidd McMarx: Yeah, we got your back!

Helga: The plan is excellent!

Skrunch: (Monkey noises)

Assault Vehicle
Sasha Phyronix: We're coming in on the dropship now. Get across that bridge.

Aerial Assault
Sasha Phyronix: Get moving!

Iron Hard
Darla Gratch: From another comeback, to a spectacular battle against the Tyhrranoids on their own planet. How do you do all this?

Qwark: Courage...Compassion...IRON HARD ABS! Seriously though, to be a true hero, you need more than that. I couldn't have done it without these great big guns!

Riveted
Ratchet: It was the biggest Tyhrranoid you've ever seen. as big as a star cruiser, and packing twice as much firepower. Closer, closer, what am I gonna do? Closer, closer, click click, my blaster jammed!

Lawrence: Oh go on, we're all riveted.

Nefarious: So this is the Q-Force I've heard so much about. Pathetic! I could annihilate you all and it wouldn't even make Super Villain Weekly!

Lawrence: But you'd do the fashion world a tremendous favor.

Nefarious: You can turn it off now, Lawrence.

Lawrence: Oh may I sir? What a treat.

Ratchet: Al, come in.

Al: Y'ello.

Ratchet: Someone just transmitted a message onto the ship. I need you to find out where it came from.

Al: Let's see, backtracking the signal. Amateurs! I've found something suspicious. Beaming it over now.

Announcer: On tonight's episode of Super Villain Weekly, we take a look into the enigmatic mind of Dr Nefarious, on the weapons facility on planet Daxx, home to such super-weapons as The Dreaded Rainbow Afrolyzer. Dr Nefarious, what do you think of critics who say that your latest work is just more of the same.

Nefarious: I WILL ANNIHILATE THEM!

Announcer: Lawrence, tell us a bit about this super-weapon you're creating.

Lawrence: Well, super is such a strong word, and for that matter weapon may be a tad over-doing it. But we do however have a lovely view of the ocean at sunset.

Announcer: Is Dr Nefarious on the brink of Galactic Dominion? Or is this just the first in a series of maniacal pipe dreams? Stay tuned for more on Super Villain Weekly!

Ratchet: Planet Daxx? We better check it out.

Gadget Stop
Helga: So! You've come to disgrace my training course once again!

Ratchet: Actually, we were just hoping to pick up the gadgets and split.

Clank: We have a spaceship to catch.

Helga: You slackers are always looking for the easy way out. When you pass the course, you can have the devices.

Cocky
Ratchet: That wasn't too difficult.

Helga: Oh ho ho! The little man is cocky now! How'd he like to take on Helga on the wrestling mat. We'll see how cocky he is twisted up like a wet noodle.

Ratchet: Maybe another time.

Helga: Pansies!

Biobliterator
Clank: This computer will give us high level access to Nefarious' project files. I've found something. It does not look good.

Ratchet: Biobliterator? I see what you mean. What exactly does it do?

Clank: That information has been deleted. Location unknown, however a large transport vessel left the facility yesterday, headed for the Obani moons.

Ratchet: The Obani moons? We'd better check it out.

Courtney Gears
Ratchet: Looks like someone's a big fan of Courtney Gears.

Clank: Courtney who?

Ratchet: You know, that bombshell handing out prizes on Annihilation Nation.

Clank: Ah yes. Her specifications were remarkable.

Ratchet: Well she's not the hottest popstar ing the galaxy because of her singing. Clank: This computer has recently used to edit one of her music videos.

Ratchet: Ooh! Let's watch it! I mean, it could contain a clue, or something...

(Fix this once I ask Jace how.) (Talking) Hey, what's up people, it's Courtney Gears! Are you feeling me robots? I'm feeling you!

(Singing) I see the future, and what do I see? Robots going crazy 'cross the galaxy! Can't stand organics, they're soft and squishy, The time is now, where robots must be free!

(Talking) You wanna be free? Then shout with me!

(Singing) This goes out to all you robots 'cross the galaxy, It's time for you and me to rise up and strike back! Won't stop until we dominate, won't you feel great, When we exterminate all organic life!

Clank: Miss Gears may be in league with Dr Nefarious.

Ratchet: Who knew? She always seemed so sweet and innocent in her songs. Except for that one with the (Ratchet plays a beat with his tongue, and ends up bending over as if to kiss Clank.)

Clank: Miss Gears may have information about what Nefarious is planning.

Ratchet: And if we win the grand prize on Annihilation Nation we'll get another chance to talk to her.

An Idiot Calls
Skidd McMarx: How d'you work this camera majiggy. Ow! Maybe... Oof! Hey Ratchet!

Ratchet: Skidd McMarx?! Can you get Captain Sasha for me?

Skidd McMarx: She and Qwark are having lunch with the president. I've been left in charge.

Ratchet: Is Al there?

Skidd McMarx: Out to lunch.

Ratchet: Helga?

Skidd McMarx: In the sauna.

Clank: Qwark's monkey perhaps?

Ratchet: Just tell Sasha that we're checking out a lead on the Obani Moons.

Skidd McMarx: The Obani moons? Sounds like you two could use a little help. I'll just get my gear.

Ratchet: No no!

Blackwater Attack
Skidd McMarx: Cover me! Man down!

Ratchet: It's all right Skidd, the fight's over.

Skidd McMarx: Oh. I would have come sooner, but I encountered some heavy duty resistance.

Clank: Enemy troops?

Skidd McMarx: Not exactly... The drive-thru at Galaxy burger was like wicked slow...

Ratchet: That last moon is protected by an Omega Class Disintegration Field. If I had the right tools, I could hack into that generator and turn off the shield.

Skidd McMarx: Lucky for you guys I got this. Oh no, it's broke. Oh wait, never mind.

Clank: Incoming call from the Galactic Rangers.

Ranger: Sarge! Blackwater city is under attack. We're pretty much hosed, so can you...

Ranger 2: (screams) Run for your lives!

Ratchet: Come on Skidd McMarx, the Rangers need our help.

Skidd McMarx: Uh, this lock could take a while...

Ratchet: OK, give us a call if anything comes up.

Gravity
Ranger: Thanks Sarge. I tripped over these when I was running from the Tyhrranoids. I believe they're your size.

Busy
Ratchet: If we do this right, she'll lead us straight to Dr. Nefarious. Better let me do the talking.

Ratchet: What a great pleasure it is for you to meet me, I mean me, to meet you!

Courtney Gears: Agent Clank, you look even better in person than you do on the Holo-vid. You know, I have a few things which may need your special investigation.

Clank: I will report your concerns to the proper authorities.

Courtney Gears: Oh Agent Clank, you always know what to say to a woman. You know, I'd do anything to get a part in one of your holo-films.

Clank: That can be arranged. If you can give us information on the whereabouts of Dr Nefarious.

Courtney Gears: My, we have been busy. Get me that part, and I'll tell you anything you want to know.

Clank: Meet me at Holostar studios.

Basket-Weaving
Clank: Jeeves, activate the cloaking device.

Ratchet: With pleasure. Now you see us, now you...

Ratchet: Crud.

Director: Cut, cut! That's it kid, you've disgraced my set for the last time. Take a basket weaving. You're fired! Bring me the monkey!

Ratchet: I'll meet you back at the trailer.

Director: We'll scrap the chase scene and go straight to the grande finale. Clank, you did read that script I sent you?

Clank: Ummm...

Director: Chase Max Million... yadda yadda yadda... defeat the Terror of Tallos... yadda yadda yadda... and rescue the baroness, played by the lovely miss Courtney Gears.

Capture
Director: Cut, put it in the can, take five everybody! Pure box office raritanium Clank, even the critics are gonna love it!

Courtney Gears: Agent Clank, you have no idea how great it feels to be rescued by a gorgeous hunk of titanium alloy like you.

Clank: Now will you tell me what Dr Nefarious is planning?

Courtney Gears: I have a better idea. Why don't you ask him yourself!?

Nefarious: What is it?

Courtney Gears: I've got a present for you, snooky-wookums.

Nefarious: Don't call me that! Just bring me Agent Clank.

Courtney Gears: Whatever you say, smoochy-cake. Clank: Where am I? Is somebody there?

Nefarious: Agent Clank. I have watched all your holo-films, since your first adventure battling the mind-stealing snotbeasts from Dimension X! You are a hero to every robot in the Galaxy! But still, you deny your destiny and follow the squishies!

Clank: Organic life forms have as much right to live as we do. I don't see why we should exclude them.

Nefarious: Then I will give you a reason. Join me, and together we will rule an army of robots! Or refuse, and follow your beloved squishies into the black hole of oblivion!

Aggh!
Ratchet: Clank should've been back by now. What could be taking him so long?

Ratchet: (screams)

Sprockets
Ratchet: Clank! Where were you?

Klunk: I was having my sprockets loomed.

Ratchet: You picked a fine time for a tune-up. Where's Courtney Gears?

Klunk: Miss Gears has left the planet.

Ratchet: What about Dr Nefarious?

Klunk: Is currently aboard a cruiser called, the Leviathon.

Ratchet: Um, great work Clank.

Like a Shadow, dude
(If you complete Holostar Studios before completing Blackwater City, the following message will come at the end of Blackwater rather than here. TBV probably)

Ratchet: Hey Skidd. How's the stakeout going?

Skidd McMarx: Awesome! A couple of minutes ago this totally tricked out space limo rose up and dude, you won't believe who was in it. Courtney Gears!

Ratchet: Did anyone see you?

Skidd McMarx: No way, man. I've been sneaking around, keeping a low profile. I'm like a shadow, dude.

Ratchet: And you're sure it was her?

Skidd McMarx: Totally. She even signed my t-shirt!

Ratchet: Skidd, get out of there!

Skidd McMarx: Wait a second, somebody's coming. Hey, you hear about the t-shirt? Bidding starts at 300 bolts. Whoa! Hey!

Ratchet: Skidd's in trouble. Let's go.

Impossible!
Clank: We can see a recording with this computer.

Skidd McMarx: I never knew you this kinky, Miss Gears.

Courtney Gears: Don't you ever shut up?

Skidd McMarx: All right, I'm zipping it. Man, the guys aren't gonna believe this HEY!!!

Skidd McMarx: Like destroy all squishies, and stuff.

Ratchet: What! They turned Skidd into a robot!? That's impossible!

Klunk: Not for Dr Nefarious.

Courtney Gears: Don't worry, Ratchet. The transformation doesn't hurt, (giggles) MUCH.

Courtney Gears: Besides, I think you'll enjoy being a robot.

Ratchet: Let's hope that you can fight better than you can sing.

Location, Location, Location
Klunk: One disposable pop-star, disposed. (laughs)

Ratchet: Are you okay Clank?

Sasha Phyronix: We've located the Leviathan. It's refueling at the Zeldrin Starport now. Qwark and the monkey are already there.

Ratchet: It might be a trap. I think Courtney Gears was setting us up. Still, it could be our only hope of finding Nefarious. C'mon Clank, we'll come back for Skidd later.

Monkey Buisiness
Skrunch: (Angry noises)

Qwark: I thought we were going to put that monkey business behind us!

Skrunch: (Angry noises)

Qwark: It was mating season. How was I supposed to know she was your sister? How long have you two been standing there.

Klunk: Too long.

Qwark: Well, stop lollygagging and get to work! We'll infiltrate the cruiser completely undetected with this shuttle.

Shotgun
Klunk: Shotgun!

Qwark: Move over, I'll drive.

Ratchet: No thanks. I'd rather make it there in one piece.

Qwark: Step down, soldier. This is your captain speaking!

Ratchet: Captain my... oof! Don't sit on the flight stick!

Qwark: AARRGGHH!

Too Quiet
Ratchet: (Whispering) It's too quiet. I don't like it.

Qwark: Once again my brilliant plan has caught the enemy completely unawares.

Klunk: Message recieved. (laughs)

Ratchet: Whassat Clank?

Klunk: Nothing.

Qwark: We'll split up and search the ship. But remember, Nefarious is mine!

Ratchet: Not unless we get to him first. Come on Clank, let's get some payback for Skidd.

Riff Raff
Lawrence: The riffraff have arrived, sir.

Nefarious: Captain Qwark, you've put on a bit of weight since last we met.

Qwark: Oh yeah? Courtney Gears didn't seem to mind.

Nefarious: QQQUUUAAAAAARRRR-....

Lawrence: This is the best part of my day.

Nefarious: ...RRRKKKKK!!!! I lured you here so I could witness your demise!

Overhead speaker: Auto-Destruct sequence initiated. Bye bye.

Nefarious: Lawrence, teleport us out of here.

Nefarious: Lawrence?! This isn't funny Lawrence!

Ratchet: What are you doing? This ship could explode any second!

Qwark: I think I've spotted something important. I can't leave without it! I'll meet you back at the shuttle!

The Treachery of Klunk
Ratchet: C'mon, Qwark!

Klunk: We must leave now!

Ratchet: Not without Qwark! He would of waited for us. I think.

Klunk: Good for him.

Ratchet: Wait!

Swearing
Sasha Phyronix: I'm... We're all very glad you made it back safely. We heard everything over the com-link.

Ratchet: Did you detect any other craft leaving the ship? An escape pod? Anything?

Sasha Phyronix: Nothing. Captain Qwark died a hero.

Helga: And we would frolic in fitness course unto the wee hours of the morning...

Ratchet: Captain Qwark had so many, brilliant, qualities, I just don't know where to begin...

Klunk: Such as?

Ratchet: Well he was really...tall! And he had this really big chin, with you know a kind of butt-shape on it... You know, I think I've droned on long enough...

President Phyronix: I just heard what happened, and I offer my condolences to the team. Qwark was noble, brave, and humble to the core.

Klunk: What a load of bull-..

Ratchet: Shhhh!!!

President Phyronix: His noble spirit lives on in each of you. Keep going!

Al: This came in the mail for Qwark. He'd want you to have it.

Ratchet: Thanks Al. You know, this could give us an idea about what Nefarious is planning next.

Funeral Games
Al: Aren't you gonna access the secret costumes? Here, I'll use the cheat codes. Up, up, down, down, left, right, circle, square, square. Look, he's in a tutu!

Ratchet: Metropolis! Nefarious attacked Metropolis years ago, and now he's got his secret weapon, he's ready to make his move.

Battle
Ratchet: We're too late, the battle's already started!

Ratchet: Are you OK Clank? I think I should get Al to take a look at your circuitry.

Nefarious: Ha ha ha! Klunk will lead Ratchet right to me!

Clank: Ratchet will put an end to your plans!

Nefarious: The only end in Ratchet's future is the end of his life!

Galactic Idol
(Upon entering some building after the Vendor.) Nefarious: It is time for the unveiling of my new weapon! Lawrence!

Nefarious: (singing) You are my robot lover! You make my sprockets go ZAP ZAP ZAP with your love!

Lawrence: Oops! My mistake. That was your audition for Galactic Idol wasn't it? Do carry on.

Ratchet the Idiot
Ratchet: Look, Clank! There's Nefarious! And that butler guy! And... they've got Clank! Wait a second.. I don't suppose there's any chance that he's the evil Clank? No, I didn't think so. I guess I should be feeling pretty stupid about now.

Nefarious: (laughs) I've laughed so hard today! I'm going to destroy all your pathetic squishies... it's almost a shame you're not going to be alive to see it!

Dead or Worse
Clank: I'm so sorry, Ratchet.

Ratchet: Knock it off Clank. Nefarious did this. And he's gonna pay! Now let's get off this planet before we wind up dead... or worse.

Cyborg
Darla Gratch: Just hours ago, Metropolis was attacked by mysterious machines called Biobliterators, which have since disappeared. Citizens are in a state of shock.

Darla Gratch: Mr President, how do you think that these attacks will affect your re-election campaign this fall?

President Phyronix: I'm glad you asked me that, Darla. Our research shows that 100% of the population will be robots by this time next week, which is great news, because as you know, I'm half robot myself!

Sasha Phyronix: I don't believe this! Everyone's acting like Nefarious has already won!

Ratchet: Maybe he has. If we don't stop him, he'll attack planet after planet, leaving nothing but robots in his wake.

Sasha Phyronix: Wait a minute, didn't Qwark say he saw something important? Maybe it's still on the ship?

Ratchet: The ship went down on Planet Zeldrin. It's a long shot, but It's worth a try.

Qwark's Sister
Ratchet: Look at this! An escape shuttle! And footprints! Someone else made it off that ship alive!

Clank: We must have just missed them. This pocket crotchetizer is still warm! Ratchet: Eww! What's he got there?

Clank: It appears to be an encrypted data disk. Maybe Al can decode it. A call was made from the ship's emergency communication system. There is a recording.

Taxi Driver: Supernova taxi. Whoa! This must be my lucky day! Where can I pick you up?

Qwark: I'm on planet Zeldrin. Just look for the huge wrecked starcruiser, you can't miss it!

Taxi Driver: Wrecked starcruiser? You sound like a girl who knows how to party. How's about you and me go to the cyber disco tonight?

Qwark: Watch it buddy! I mean don't get fresh with me!

Taxi Driver: Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I mean, a woman like you, in a dress like that.

Qwark: Oh this? It's just something I threw together.

Taxi Driver: So where are we headed?

Qwark: I'll tell you that when you get here. And if you keep this quiet, there's another five bolts in it for you!

Party Time
Ranger: Hi sarge! do you want to come to planet Aridia... it's H22's birthday.. we're having a party!

Ratchet: I dunno... sounds more like a battle.

Ranger: I told you he wouldn't fall for it!

Ratchet: Just hang in there, I'll be there as soon as I can.

The most useless gadget
Ranger: Sarge, over here!

Ratchet: What the...

Ranger: Pretty cool, huh? It's called a warp pad. Great for running away! Here, I got you an extra one.

Let's See
Ratchet: Hey Al!

Al: Let's see, (nerd talk).

Ratchet: Um, you lost me at 'let's see'.

Clank: He says that we may be able to change Skidd McMarx back!

Ratchet: Al, we found this data disk.

Al: Oh Ratchet, I was looking through Qwark's things, and I found something interesting.

Ratchet: If it's another crotchetizer don't even go there.

Al: Issue 5 of the Qwark vs. Nefarious series. Even my friends at the Qwark cadets fan club have never seen this issue, and they're REAL geeks.

Walking the Wrong Way
Qwark: Oh! How did you find me here?

Ratchet: We found your secret vid-comic, Qwark.

Qwark: Oh, that. Listen, when I escaped from that star cruiser missing death by mere nano-seconds, I thought something. I could have died! Me!

Ratchet: You're pathetic Qwark, I can't believe I once looked up to you. Come on guys, let's go.

Clank: The Galaxy needs you, Qwark. Now is the chance to be the hero you always wanted to be.

Skrunch: (Monkey sounds)

Attack of the Phoenix
Sasha Phyronix: Ratchet, where have you been? Never mind. The Phoenix is under attack ... to 40% ... getting low ... Hey hotshot, if I don't get to see you again, I just wanted to say ...

Clank: The signal is lost.

Ratchet: Engage the Gravimetric Warp Drive!

Getting Lucky Tonight
Ratchet: Everyone OK?

Helga: You certainly took your sweet time!

Ratchet: It's good to see you too. Any luck with the disk?

Al: Luck, he says.

Sasha Phyronix: Al cracked the encryption. The Biobliterator will travel from planet to planet, leaving only robots in it's wake. It is programmed to recharge between each attack. It's currently recharging on planet Koros, and Ratchet, It's first target, is Veldin.

Bigger Gun
Ratchet: Whoa! My biggest gun wouldn't even put a dent in that thing!

Clank: Then we will need a bigger gun.

Ratchet: Yeah, that should do it.

Clank: If you can get me to the control center, I can take control of that ion cannon.

Don't Mess
Nefarious: What!!! What are you doing!

Clank: I'd have thought, after all those holo-films, you'd have realized. Never mess with Secret Agent Clank.

Sasha Phyronix: Well done, boys. There's no telling how many lives you just saved. But we're not done yet. Al just finished decoding the disk. Nefarious secretly built a second Biobliterator, more deadly than the first.

Ratchet: We'll have to destroy it, then.

Sasha Phyronix: Watch out. This time, he know's you're coming.

Too Late
Ratchet: We're too late!

Sasha Phyronix: Hop in!

Cancellations
Ratchet glides down and smashes the launch control panel.

Ratchet: You're flight's been cancelled, Nefarious.

Nefarious: LAWRENCE!

Lawrence: How can I be of service?

Nefarious: ANNIHILATE HIM!

Lawrence: Only kidding, you've reached my holographic voice mail. Please your name, and a brief message.

Nefarious: Fine, I'll do it myself.

Advanced Robotics
Nefarious: LLAAWWRREENNCCEE!!!!!!!

Lawrence appears, wearing funny clothes and holding a guitar.

Lawrence: I hope this is quick, it's almost time for my solo.

Nefarious: Begin, the transformation!

Nefarious: What! I can't believe this!

Qwark: Believe it, tin can!

Bye Bye
Nefarious: Oh, the humiliation! Defeated by squishies!

Overhead speaker: Auto-destruct sequence re-initiated. 60 seconds until detonation.

Nefarious: Teleport us out of here, Lawrence.

Lawrence: Would you care to specify a destination?

Nefarious: Who cares? Just get us out of here.

Overhead speaker: Time's up. Bye bye.

Nefarious: What!? That wasn't even close to sixty seconds!

Outro
Max Million: Haah! Now I'll destroy you!

Max Million: Hah! Your tricks won't save you this time!

Clank: Well, I got that monkey off his back!

Clank: Do not even think about it.

Nefarious: Teleport us away from here, Lawrence!

Lawrence: I'm afraid we're well out of range, sir.

Nefarious: When will we be in range?

Lawrence: I'm sure something will come along in, say, five or ten, thousand years.

Nefarious: What now?

Lawrence: I don't suppose you play drums?

Nefarious: Lawrence!