Up Your Arsenal script

Up Your Arsenal script comprises the full verbal transcript of Up Your Arsenal.


 * Notes:
 * Menu transcriptions are found on Up Your Arsenal menu transcript.
 * Transcriptions for the Insomniac Museum are found on Insomniac Museum (Up Your Arsenal).
 * Some scenes are interspersed within a mission, or are otherwise related, therefore some scenes may be placed non-chronologically but instead prior to or after their respective mission section.
 * Some in-game dialogue is not included in their respective sections if they are not unique to said section. These lines will be placed together in a single section in the &sect; Miscellaneous section.
 * However, some dialogue is triggered only once upon introduction, despite technically being able to be triggered elsewhere if the introduction happened there. In these cases, the dialogue is placed in the earliest possible section.

For other information regarding the format and layout of this article, see the transcript guideline.

Intro movie
Ratchet: Haha! My Blargian Snagglebeast devours your mutant swamp fly. Oh yeah! I bet you didn't see that one coming!

Ratchet: Hey! Uh, what are you doing?!

Clank: Check and mate.

Ratchet: What!? Th-th-that's cheating!

Clank: On the contrary, the rules clearly state that the Blargian Snagglebeast has an allergic reaction to swamp flies that lasts two turns.

Clank: Ooh! It is on again!

On-screen: Maktar Casino 12:31am

Max Million: Your luck is extraordinary, sir. But do you lose as gracefully as you win?

Clank: I would not know, Maxmillian. I never lose.

Maxmillian: There is a first time for everything, Agent Clank!

Maxmillian: Ha! You missed! So much for the famous secret agent-.. oof!

Clank: Hmm, shocking.

Clank: Pull the car around, Jeeves. And mind the ejector seat this time. (chuckles)

Ratchet: (groans)

Announcer: Stay tuned for more Secret Agent Clank!

Clank: That was terrific!

Ratchet: Yeah, great. Change the channel.

Clank: But the man said to stay tuned!

Darla Gratch: We continue our live coverage from Veldin. Just hours ago, the planet was attacked without warning by a terrifying alien race known as the tyhrranoids. Officials believe that an evil robotic super villain known as Dr. Nefarious is the mastermind behind the tyhrranoid attack. As you can see, the Galactic Rangers are putting up a valiant fight, but they are no match for these tentacle-eyed terrors. Indeed, this backwater planet may be completely be destroyed in a matter of hours. Darla Gratch, Channel 64 News.

Ratchet: We're going home.

Clank: But Veldin is in the Solana Galaxy!

Clank: Oh, no! Not the gravimetric warp drive.

Clank: The un-tested gravimetric warp drive?

Clank: The one you built from blargian scrap metal?

Ratchet: Coming?

Clank: We are doomed.

Ratchet: Woohoo!

Ratchet: You were saying?

Clank: I stand corrected.

Ratchet: I just hope we're not too late.

Save Veldin! (gameplay)
(Upon exiting the ship.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Greetings, client 91802 and welcome back to the Solana Galaxy.

HelpDesk: Greetings, client 91802 and welcome back to the Solana Galaxy.

(Upon gaining control of Ratchet in challenge mode.) On-screen: As you destroy enemies in challenge mode, the bolts they drop are multiplied by the number shown. Destroying more enemies increases this multiplier, but it will reset each time you take a hit. Continue

(Upon approaching the Galactic Rangers.) Clank: These must be the Galactic Rangers.

Ranger 1: Hey look, it's a new sergeant!

Ratchet: Huh?

Ranger 2: Here, Sarge. You can have my gun!

Ranger 1: There's too many of 'em! We're all gonna die!

(Upon the cutscene ending.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Press to fire your Shock Blaster.

HelpDesk: Press circle to fire your Shock Blaster.

(With lock strafe mode enabled.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Press to fire your Shock Blaster.

HelpDesk: Press R1 to fire your Shock Blaster.

(Upon approaching the group of rangers at the first building.) Ranger 1: Am I glad to see you, Sarge! We're pinned down by that enemy vehicle. Somebody's gotta take it out.

Ratchet: Let me guess, that somebody is me.

Ranger 2: We got a volunteer! Here Sarge, take this.

Ranger 2: We'll cover you.. from back there!

(Upon the cutscene ending.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Try using the Nitro Launcher against that vehicle.

HelpDesk: Try using the Nitro Launcher against that vehicle.

(Upon entering the hole underneath the destroyed ship.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To select weapons, hold and select an icon with the Left.

HelpDesk: To select weapons, hold triangle and select an icon with the left analog stick.

(Upon the large room with the ultra mecha tyhrranoid.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Hold to precisely target your weapon.

HelpDesk: Hold L1 to precisely target your weapon.

(With lock strafe mode enabled.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Hold to precisely target your weapon.

HelpDesk: Hold L2 to precisely target your weapon.

(Upon approaching the rangers near Ratchet's garage.) Ratchet: What's the situation?

Ranger 1: The 'noids have fallen back to a base in F-sector. We have orders to go in and take them out.

Ranger 2: F-sector?! No way, game over man! We're all gonna end up as scrap metal!

Ratchet: Get back in there, trooper. We've got a planet to save!

Ranger 1 and Ranger 2: Sir, yes sir!

Eliminate the Enemy Forces (gameplay)
(Upon exiting the ship.) Ranger: Not me, I'm afraid of heights! (screams)

(After free falling for a few seconds.) Ranger: Stay frosty, people. The 'noids could be hiding anywhere!

(Upon the two-eyed tyhrranoids approaching from the rubble) Ranger: Watch out! They're coming out of the rubble!

(Upon the tyhrranoid dropship approaching.) Ranger: Here come the 'noid dropships!

(Upon the second tyhrranoid dropship approaching.) Ranger: Waste those tyhrranoids!

(Upon the doors opening to the next area.) Ranger: The doors have opened, look out!

(Upon approaching the vehicle.) Ranger: Destroy that vehicle!

(Upon approaching the ship.) Ranger: Sir, we have a transmission from the President.!

President Phyronix: How are things on the front line, soldier?

President Phyronix: Is-.. is that Secret Agent Clank?

Clank: Greetings, sir. We are here to help.

President Phyronix: Well, this is an honor! And I see you brought your chauffeur along.

Ratchet: What? No, no, no. Hold on a second, sir-...

President Phyronix: Agent Clank, we must stop Dr. Nefarious! As you may know, only one man has ever faced him and survived. I have just received a top-secret report on that man's whereabouts. Here, take a look.

Nature's Mysteries
Announcer: On tonight's episode of Nature's Mysteries, we examine the Florana Tree Beast. Deep in the dense growth of Florana's Jamboo Forest lives a mysterious creature. Or maybe he doesn't. It's one of Nature's Mysteries!

Man: I seen him run right through our camping site. He was buck naked, screamin', and holdin' a banana. Or maybe it weren't a banana. It could be-...

Announcer: One of Nature's Mysteries! Legend tells that this mysterious creature is actually one of the greatest superheroes who ever lived. Shamed by his recent pas he is now one of Nature's Mysteries! Tune in and find out the answers.

(After the cutscene plays.) President Phyronix: We need you to find this man. The fate of the galaxy may depend on it.

Ratchet: Are you sure this is the guy you're looking for, Mr. President? Yeah, he seems like kind of a, you know, wacko.

President Phyronix: You may be right, but he's the best chance we've got. I know you boys won't let me down.

Clank: You can count on us, sir!

Find the Mysterious Man (gameplay)
(Upon returning to your ship before finishing the level.) HelpDesk (on-screen): You must find new planetary coordinates before you can leave this planet.

HelpDesk (communicator): You must find new planetary coordinates before you can leave this planet.

(Upon entering the small building with Floranian Blood Flies.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Your controller can be configured with multiple button maps, including a map that placers the fire command on. To change to a different button map, press START then enter the Options Menu and select Controls.

HelpDesk: Your controller can be configured with multiple button maps, including a map that placers the fire command on R1. To change to a different button map, press start then enter the options menu and select controls.

(Upon approaching the ledge in the first large building.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To perform a high jump, hold and press.

HelpDesk: To perform a high jump, hold R1 and press X.

(Upon approaching the ladder in the first large building.) HelpDesk (on-screen): You can climb a ladder by jumping onto it and pressing until you reach the top.

HelpDesk: You can climb a ladder by jumping onto it and pressing X until you reach the top.

(Upon approaching the first continue point near the Gadgetron vendor.) HelpDesk (on-screen): You can reverse the camera controls in the Options menu.

HelpDesk: You can reverse the camera controls in the options menu.

(Upon approaching the jump slots.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To jump between walls, jump, then press in mid-air while next to a wall.

HelpDesk: To jump between walls, jump, then press X in mid-air while next to a wall.

(Upon idling near the first zipline.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To use a zipline, stand under it and jump.

HelpDesk (communicator): To use a zipline, stand under it and jump.

(Upon grinding down the zip line.) Clank: Uhh.. Ratchet, we have company!

Ratchet: Where?

Clank: Behind you!

Ratchet: Where?!

Clank: Behind you!

Ratchet: Very funny. You havin' a good ti-... (screams)

Florana Tree Beast: You trespass on sacred ground! (monkey noise) Now you walk Path of Death.

Clank: But, sir!

Florana Tree Beast: Path of Death!

Walk the PATH OF DEATH! (gameplay)
(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Path of Death!

(After traversing the first rock falling section.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To center the camera, tap.

HelpDesk: To center the camera, tap L1.

(Upon entering the arena at the end of the Path of Death.) Florana Tree Beast: Can not be!

Ratchet: Okay, we walked your Path of Death. Now, tell us what you know about Dr. Nefarious!

Florana Tree Beast: Hugh?

Ratchet: Dr. Nefarious! They say you're the only man to ever beat him.

Florana Tree Beast: Hurgh?

Ratchet: Sheesh! This guy's even dumber than-...

Clank: Captain Qwark!?

Ratchet: Yeah! (chuckles) Captain- ooph!

Ratchet: That's it, Qwark. You've had this coming for a long time!

(After defeating Qwark.) Qwark: (monkey noises)

Ratchet: So, Qwark has completely lost his mind. Now what?

Clank: Just keep the mask on. He thinks you are his new leader.

Ratchet: Great!

Qwark: (monkey noises)

Clank: Incoming call.

Sasha Phyronix: This is Captain Sasha of the Starship Phoenix. The President has asked me to assist you.

Ratchet: Uh, hi!

Sasha Phyronix: I see you have located Captain Qwark.

Ratchet: Yeah, we got him. But, umm, well, he thinks he's a monkey.

Sasha Phyronix: Of course, heh. Bring him to the Phoenix and we'll see what we can do. Sasha out.

Take Qwark to His Cage (gameplay)
Ratchet: Look at that, Clank. This ship is amazing!

Sasha Phyronix: Welcome aboard the Phoenix, gentlemen.

Ratchet: Woah!

Sasha Phyronix: Impressive, isn't she? The Phoenix is the pride of the Galactic fleet. She's equipped with the latest technology: holodeck training suite, autovendors for armor and weapons, virtual firing range, starfighter upgrade system, even a Gadgetron VG-9000 game system.

Ratchet: A VG-9000!?

Sasha Phyronix: Of course. With a Mavox Fireball Pro controller, VR headset, and a Zero-G dance pad attachment.

Ratchet: Will you marry me?

Sasha Phyronix: (laughs) Well, you've obviously had an exhausting trip. Why don't you stop by your quarters? We've prepared a custom living area for Qwark, so he won't get in your way. Come meet me on the bridge when you're ready.

(Upon gaining control of Ratchet.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To view the World Map, press SELECT or R3.

HelpDesk: To view the world map, press select or R3.

(Upon approaching the transport in the Phoenix without having taken Qwark to his cage.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Please take Qwark to the cage in your quarters and then meet me on the Bridge.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Please take Qwark to the cage in your quarters and then meet me on the bridge.

(Upon idling in the Phoenix without having taken Qwark to his cage.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Ratchet, you need to take Qwark to his cage before you can enter the bridge.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Ratchet, you need to take Qwark to his cage before you can enter the bridge.

(Upon continuing to idle in the Phoenix without having taken Qwark to his cage.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Qwark needs to be in his cage before you can meet me on the bridge.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Qwark needs to be in his cage before you can meet me on the bridge.

(Upon approaching the ship vendor.) HelpDesk (on-screen): You can upgrade your starfighter's systems at this console.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): You can upgrade your starfighter's systems at this console.

(Upon approaching the Gadgetron vendor.) HelpDesk (on-screen): This is our Gadgetron Weapons Vendor. Here you can try out new weapons in a VR simulation before you buy them.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): This is our Gadgetron Weapons Vendor. Here you can try out new weapons in a VR simulation before you buy them.

(Upon approaching the Gadgetron vendor.) HelpDesk (on-screen): This is our Gadgetron Weapons Vendor. Here you can try out new weapons in a VR simulation before you buy them.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): This is our Gadgetron Weapons Vendor. Here you can try out new weapons in a VR simulation before you buy them.

(Upon approaching the Gadgetron armor vendor.) HelpDesk (on-screen): This is our on board Gadgetron Armor Vendor. We'll notify you whenever a new suit of armor is available for purchase.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): This is our on board Gadgetron armor vendor. We'll notify you whenever a new suit of armor is available for purchase.

(Upon approaching the VR deck.) HelpDesk (on-screen): This is the Phoenix VR deck. Here you can train in combat simulations or practice using new gadgets.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator):  This is the Phoenix VR deck. Here you can train in combat simulations or practice using new gadgets.

(Upon finishing a VR deck challenge, where X is the amount of bolts won.) On-screen: Congratulations!

Reward: XXXX bolts

(Upon entering the trophy room.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Welcome to the Phoenix trophy room. Whenever a crew member is awarded a medal of honor, it is displayed here.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator):  Welcome to the Phoenix trophy room. Whenever a crew member is awarded a medal of honor, it is displayed here.

(Upon striking the second door in the trophy room with your wrench.) HelpDesk (on-screen): I'm sorry, that area is restricted. You don't have access yet.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator):  I'm sorry, that area is restricted. You don't have access yet.

(Upon entering Ratchet's quarters.) HelpDesk (on-screen): These are your quarters. I set up the VG-9000 to play vid-comic disks.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): These are your quarters. I set up the VG-9000 to play vid-comic disks.

(Upon bringing Qwark to his quarters.) Ratchet: How do you think he got like this?

Clank: Well, the life of an intergalactic superhero can be very stressful. (chuckles)

Ratchet: Yeah, anyway, you're telling me this nutcase is our only hope for stopping Nefarious?

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

Ratchet: We're hosed.

Meet Sasha on the Bridge (gameplay)
(After the cutscene plays.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Press and hold for your QuickSelect menu.

HelpDesk: Press and hold triangle for your QuickSelect menu.

(Upon approaching the VG-9000.) HelpDesk (on-screen): This is the VG-9000 game system. If you have a vid-comic you can play it here.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): This is the VG-9000 game system. If you have a vid-comic you can play it here.

(Upon approaching the VG-9000 without owning a vid-comic.) On-screen: You need a vid-comic to play.

(Upon approaching the VG-9000 with a vid-comic.) On-screen: Play Qwark vid-comic

(Upon exiting Ratchet's quarters.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Great! Meet me on the bridge.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Great! Meet me on the bridge.

(Upon entering the shuttle from the hangar.) On-screen: Go to bridge

(Upon entering the shuttle from the bridge.) On-screen: Go to hangar

(Upon riding the shuttle to the bridge for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Press to interrupt these messages. You can disable Help Messages in the Options menu.

HelpDesk: Press triangle to interrupt these messages. You can disable help messages in the options menu.

(Upon entering the bridge.) Sasha Phyronix: We're loosing the signal! Try boosting the power!

Ratchet: Isn't that the president?

President Phyronix: They came out of nowhere! Tyhrranoid invasion force- ..presidential compound has been breached- ..can not hold out much longer here-...

Sasha Phyronix: Mr President!? Dad! Are you there?!

Ratchet: Dad?!

Meet Dr. Nefarious
Nefarious: Robotic citizens of the Solana galaxy, the hour of your liberation is at hand! Too long have we robots suffered under the bigotry, the stupidity, the squishiness, and foul stench of organic life forms! Soon all robots will bask in the liberty and equality of my benevolent, iron-fisted rule. And as for you filthy organic life forms, you can look forward to being disintegrated! (laughs)

Nefarious: That is all for now.

(After the cutscene plays.) Sasha Phyronix: Plot a course for Marcadia. Maximum speed! Prepare the dropship for planetary assault. We're going in.

Ratchet: We'll see you on Marcadia.

On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Capital City, Planet Marcadia

Fly to Marcadia (gameplay)
(Upon riding the shuttle back to Ratchet's ship for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To view your current missions, select the Missions menu from the pause screen.

HelpDesk: To view your current missions, select the missions menu from the pause screen.

(Upon arriving at the main deck.) HelpDesk (on-screen): A new suit of armor is available at the Gadgetron armor vendor!

HelpDesk: A new suit of armor is available at the Gadgetron armor vendor!

Get to the palace (gameplay)
(Upon exiting the ship.) Ranger: Glad you made it, sir. The presidential compound is on the other side of the city. Keep your head down, the tyhrranoids are crawling all over the place!

(Upon walking up the first set up stairs.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Tap to cycle through the last three weapons you have equipped.

HelpDesk: Tap triangle to cycle through the last three weapons you have equipped.

(Upon approaching the ranger near a dropship.) Ranger: Nice shooting, sir! A second wave of tyhrranoids just landed. They're attacking the compound from the other side. We could sure use your help.

Ratchet: You got it!

Ranger: Follow me to the dropship!

Secure the Area (gameplay)
(Upon exiting the dropship.) Ranger: Sarge, you're just in time! We must defend the presidential palace.

(Upon the first wave of tyhrranoid dropships appearing.) Ranger: The 'noids are dropping in reinforcements!

(Upon the wave of mecha-tyhrranoids appearing) Ranger: There's too many of 'em! We're dead meat!

(Upon the last wave of tyhrranoids appearing) Ranger: I need backup! I need backup!

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: Area secured. Nice work, ladies. Let's move out!

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 3000 bolts

Air Assault (gameplay)
(Upon exiting the dropship.) Ranger: Sarge, cover those rangers! If we lost the whole squad it's all over!

(Upon the first wave of tyhrranoids appearing.) Ranger: Incoming!

(Upon the wave of mecha-tyhrranoids appearing) Ranger: They're everywhere!

(Upon the wave of tyhrranoid saucers and one-eyed tyhrranoids appearing) Ranger: I don't wanna die!

(Upon the second to last wave of dropships appearing) Ranger: I give up!

(When the tyhrranoid dropship begins hovering over the rangers.) Ranger: They're right on top of us!

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: Whew! Thanks, Sarge! You saved our cans.

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 4500 bolts

Turret Command (gameplay)
(Upon exiting the dropship.) Ranger: We need to take out those enemy dropships! The saucers are just icing on the cake.

(Upon the tyhrranoids appearing.) Ranger: Fire at will!

(Upon the second wave of tyhrranoid saucers appearing) Ranger: Yoo-hoo! Let 'em have it, Sarge!

(Upon the third wave of tyhrranoids appearing) Ranger: Covering fire!

(Upon the last wave of tyhrranoids appearing) Ranger: This is the last wave, Sarge. Don't give those pus-buckets an inch!

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: Nice shooting, Sarge! We can take it from here.

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 6000 bolts

Under the Gun (gameplay)
(Upon exiting the dropship.) Ranger: Protect the repair crew! We need that turret back online!

(Upon the second wave of tyhrranoids appearing.) Ranger: Keep 'em off our backs, we'll have this baby back up in no time!

(Upon the third wave of tyhrranoids appearing) Ranger: Covering fire! We've got to protect the repair crew!

(Upon the timer reaching 30 seconds.) Ranger: Keep it up. The repairs are almost finished.

(Upon the timer reaching 0.) Ranger: The repairs are finished! Now we'll give those 'noids a taste of their own medicine!

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 7500 bolts

Hit 'n Run (gameplay)
(Upon exiting the dropship.) Ranger: The 'noids have launched an all out assault! We need those air defenses online yesterday!

(Upon the tyhrranoids approaching.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Enemies appear RED on the radar. Allies appear BLUE. Mission objectives appear GREEN.

HelpDesk: Enemies appear red on the radar. Allies appear blue. Mission objectives appear green.

(Upon approaching the bolt crank.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Press to attach the wrench to the bolt crank.

HelpDesk: Press square to attach the wrench to the bolt crank.

(Upon activating the first air defense turret.) Ranger: Those turrets can only target air craft! You'll need handle the ground troops yourself!

(Upon activating the third bolt crank.) Ranger: The 'noids are throwing everything they've got at us!

(Upon the next wave of enemies appearing.) Ranger: They're everywhere! (screams)

(Upon activating the fourth air defense turret) Ranger: Keep it up, sarge! We just need one more turret to stop the 'noids cold!

(Upon activating all the air defense turrets.) Ranger: Mission accomplished. We'll take it from here, Sarge.

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 9000 bolts

(Upon finishing all challenges.) President Phyronix: Agent Clank! You're even more impressive in person than you are on the holovid! And, I must say, I've never seen a chauffeur fight like you do, son. Who says you can't find good help these days? Right, Clank? (chuckles)

President Phyronix: Sasha's told me a lot about you. Don't get any ideas, kid. She is way out of your league! Sasha filled me in on the, uh.. Qwark situation. I'm told the man thinks he's a monkey?!

Clank: He has lost his memory, sir.

President Phyronix: Well, then you'll simply have to find it for him! We need our star player back in the game ASAP! Is that understood?

Ratchet and Clank: Yes, sir.

President Phyronix: My daughter tells me you're a man whose good with his hands, Ratchet.

Ratchet: Sir, I- I swear I never-...

President Phyronix: The city's laser shield went down during the attack. Now we are defenseless without it. I sent out a repair man to fix it, but he disappeared. I need you to get that shield system back online.

Ratchet: Yes, sir! We're on it.

Repair the Laser Defense Shield (gameplay)
(Upon entering the facility.) HelpDesk (on-screen): You'll need this Refractor gadget to restore power to the city's defense grid. Those laser beams are red hot so make sure you turn the refractor field on before you touch them.

President Phyronix (communicator): You'll need this Refractor gadget to restore power to the city's defense grid. Those laser beams are red hot so make sure you turn the refractor field on before you touch them. Good luck!

(Upon entering the second room with the Refractor.) HelpDesk (on-screen): The Refractor will let you redirect laser beams. Just equip it and stand in the path of the laser. Hold and use the Left  to aim the beam.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): The Refractor will let you redirect laser beams. Just equip it and stand in the path of the laser. Hold L1 and use the left analog stick to aim the beam.

(Upon approaching the mecha tyhrranoid.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Ratchet, the Refractor can reflect beam attacks at enemies. Just hold to aim the reflected beams.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Ratchet, the Refractor can reflect beam attacks at enemies. Just hold L1 to aim the reflected beams.

(Upon entering the room with the spider drone.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Ratchet, there should be a spider symbol somewhere in that room. Use the beam to lead the spider drone over the symbol and then zap it with the laser!

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Ratchet, there should be a spider symbol somewhere in that room. Use the beam to lead the spider drone over the symbol and then zap it with the laser!

(Upon approaching Al.) Ratchet: Hey look, it's Al! Got the shields up yet?

Al: Silence! I am concentrating.

Ratchet: What the? That's a Qwark vid-comic!

Al: Excuse me, it is a historically accurate interactive graphic novel.

Ratchet: How can you use the city's defense network to play a video game?!

Al: Simple. I bypassed the server with a 626-hex-matrix adapter and reprogrammed the graphics sub-processor!

Ratchet: No, no. I mean- ugh. Clank, you speak, uh, nerd.

Clank: It appears you have a feedback loop in the induction coils of your DB-3 signal processor.

Al: Impossible! I ran a recursive checksum on the signal matrix. Hey, there is a feedback loop!

(Al continues muttering to himself unintelligibly.)

Clank: May we borrow this vid-comic?

Al: Treat it gently. It is a first edition.

Clank: Perhaps this will help restore Qwark's memory.

Overhead speaker: Shield power restored.

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: You got Qwark-Comic Issue 1: Booty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Play the Qwark vid-comic (gameplay)
(Upon returning to the VG-9000 with Qwark-Comic Issue 1.) Ratchet: Watch and learn, Clank. This is how a real hero gets it done.

Qwark Comic Introduction
Narrator: These are the real life adventures of Captain Qwark, the greatest superhero the galaxy has ever known.

Qwark: Hey, is this thing on?

Narrator: Ahem, meticulously reconstructed by our crack research team with the aid of eyewitness accounts, bathroom gossip, wild speculation, and a Magic 8-Ball. In the early days of the fifth Solarian equinox the Solana Galaxy was terrorized by a notorious pirate known as Captain Blackstar.

Qwark: Ahoy! Anybody else got a craving for fish'n chips?

Narrator: Though still in the prime of his youth, Captain Qwark-

Qwark: (rawrs)

Narrator: Was already a living legend.

Qwark: I was beating 'em off with a stick!

Narrator: However, no previous adventure could have prepared Qwark for his encounter with the dread pirate Blackstar and his crew of- Oh, please tell me this is a typo.

Qwark: That's Robotic Pirate Ghosts. Guess reading wasn't your subject, eh, professor?

Narrator: Right. Now we begin the interactive portion of Episode 1: Booty is in the Eye of the Beholder.

Play the Qwark vid-comic (gameplay continued)
(Upon collecting a Qwark token for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): You just picked up an officially licensed Qwark Token! Collect all the tokens in the level to earn a secret prize!

Qwark (communicator): You just picked up an officially licensed Qwark token! Collect all the tokens in the level to earn a secret prize!

(Upon collecting a red Qwark token for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Bling Bling, baby! The red ones are worth ten Qwark Tokens!

Qwark (communicator): Bling bling, baby! The red ones are worth ten Qwark tokens!

(Upon entering the open room with Qwark's blaster.) Qwark: Old timers say a giant robotic space eel haunts this ship. What a bunch of hoopla- (screams)

(Upon obtaining Qwark's blaster.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Press to fire my blaster. Hold down and move the Left  for precision aiming.

Qwark (communicator): Press circle to fire my blaster. Hold down R1 and move the left analog stick for precision aiming.

(Upon collecting the green Qwark token.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Hmm... a nice juicy health upgrade! Remember cadets, there's one in every level!

Qwark (communicator): Hmm. A nice juicy health upgrade! Remember cadets, there's one in every level!

Qwark Has a Big Heart
Narrator: I mean, I've worked on some real junk, but this one takes the cake. Pirate ghost robots? What, do they think we're idiots?

Qwark: Hey professor, snap to it!

Narrator: (grunts) Once again, the citizens of the Solana galaxy owed their lives to the dauntless courage of the remarkable man behind the Q. With great reluctance, Qwark accepted a meager fee for his services and promptly donated the entire sum to the Qwark For Tots scholarship fund, a charity providing makeovers and buxom bimbos for needy people named Qwark.

Qwark: I've got a big heart.

Qwark: Mr. President? Yes, I got the fruit basket, thanks. It turns out I'm allergic to prunes. Yeah, who knew? What?! Blackwater City is under attack?! Yes, sir. I'm on my way!

Narrator: The exciting all true, right, adventures of Captain Qwark continue in Episode 2.

(After the cutscene plays.) Qwark: Well, who's that handsome devil?

Clank: It appears Qwark has regained his memory.

Qwark: Hey! This dressing room isn't fit for a pig! What kind of shotty production are you people running?!

Ratchet: That's him all right.

Sasha Phyronix: He may need a little while to adjust. In the meantime, I've got a mission that's perfect for you two. We've just learned of a prototype holographic device that can disguise the user as a tyhrranoid, even allowing him to speak Tyhrranese.

Qwark: Is it just me, or do you smell bananas?

Sasha Phyronix: Anyway, heh, the device happens to be the grand prize on this week's Annihilation Nation. Check it out.

Annihilation Nation
Announcer: Tonight on Annihilation Nation, we feature an all new deathcourse! Let's meet tonight's victim, oops, I mean contestant... Fred! Fred is a Gadgetron accountant who claims he once had a Morph-o-Ray go off in his pants! What a champ! Let's take a look at what he's up against!

Announcer: Doesn't look too bad now, does it? Good luck, Fred!

Announcer: (laughs) Next!

(After the cutscene plays.) Ratchet: Another day, another deathcourse.

On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Annihilation Nation, Station Q9

Win the Tyhrra-Guise (gameplay)
Announcer: Are you ready to play?! All right! Let's meet our first contestant! He's an unemployed rocket mechanic who claims to have saved two galaxies, but most people know him as Secret Agent Clank's bumbling chauffeur. He hopes that disguising himself as a tyhrranoid will make him more attractive to the ladies!

Ratchet: Hey!

Announcer: Give a warm welcome to Ratchet! Ratchet will attempt to be the first contestant ever to survive the deathcourse! Contestant number one, are you ready?!

Ratchet: Bring it on!

(Upon attempting to leave Annihilation Nation before winning the Tyhrra-Guise.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Ratchet, where do you think you're going? You still haven't won that Tyhrra-Guise!

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Ratchet, where do you think you're going? You still haven't won that Tyhrra-Guise!

(Randomly, upon traversing the Deathcourse)


 * Announcer:
 * Oh, man! This job is too much fun!
 * He could be championship material, folks!
 * Hey! Be sure to catch me next week at the Florana demolition derby!

(Upon not pressing the button in the room with two doors.) Announcer: Push the button to flip the sign!

(Upon entering the section with the laser turrets for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To strafe, hold down or  while running.

HelpDesk: To strafe, hold down L2 or R2 while running.

(Upon entering the second room with two doors.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To center the camera, tap.

HelpDesk: To center the camera, tap L1.

(Upon completing the first deathcourse challenge.) On-screen: Congratulations!

On-screen: You got Qwark-Comic Issue 2: Arriba Amoeba!

(Upon the arena challenge starting.)


 * Announcer:
 * Let's get ready to rampage!
 * Here we go folks, arena combat. Yeah! You know you want it!
 * Now it's time to get down and dirty! For a lowdown showdown!

(Randomly, while defeating enemies.) Announcer: Audience member in seat number 326, get ready to try your luck in the robot rampage!

Audience member: Oh no, God! Please not me!!

(Randomly, during any arena challenge)


 * Announcer:
 * Let's get it on!
 * He's on a rampage, folks!
 * Oh yeah! That's entertainment, folks.
 * He could be championship material, folks!
 * He could be championship material, folks!
 * Everybody hit the deck! This guy's crazy!
 * Who's gonna clean up that mess? Not me, man!
 * Whoa! I should introduce this guy to my ex-wife!
 * Whoa! This little sucker can really do some damage!
 * Ooh! He's got sharp teeth, too. I wonder if he bites!
 * This lombax has clearly had a rough childhood, folks!
 * Oh, brother! He's lightin' it up like a Christmas treee!
 * Whoa! Note to self: Never mess with a trigger happy lombax!
 * Look at those beady little eyes, he's got that thousand yard stare!
 * Okay folks, time to play luck of the draw! I'm now pulling a ticket stub out of my hat!

(Upon getting hit.)


 * Announcer:
 * Yowzer! That's gotta hurt.
 * He sure got his bell wrong that time!
 * This crazy lombax just won't go down!
 * Ouch! He's gonna feel that tomorrow.
 * Haha! The little guy is really taking a beating
 * Ooh! Anybody see the license plate on that truck!?
 * I'll tell ya, this guy must be missing the gene for pain. Just look at him soak it up!

(Upon an inferno crate spawning)


 * Announcer:
 * Did somebody say inferno?!
 * Let's turn up the heat down there!

(Upon completing the first arena challenge.) On-screen: Congratulations!

Announcer: How about that, folks?

Announcer: I don't believe it, folks! He survived the deathcourse!

Announcer: And here to give you your prize, the lovely Miss Courtney Gears!

Announcer: How about that, folks? He is better looking!

Sasha Phyronix: (screams)

Clank: Do not be alarmed, Sasha. That is Ratchet.

Sasha Phyronix: Oh, I see you won the Tyhrra-Guise. It's very convincing. Anyway, there's something I think the two of you need to see.

Captain Qwark Returns
Qwark: Qwark personal log: entry 101301. After I personally vanquished the Prototpet menace and revamped the Megacorp testing facility, I decided to focus my efforts on protecting the endangered creatures of the Florana jungle. But when news arrived that Dr. Nefarious had again risen to power, I knew where my true destiny lay.

Qwark: The training necessary to get back into tip-top shape has been exhausting and my mind overflows with brilliant concepts. Though, I still yearn for the bittersweet stench of my simian companions. (sighs)

Qwark: The time has come to resume my duties as the greatest hero the galaxy has ever known. Captain Qwark!

(After the cutscene plays.) Sasha Phyronix: You're not going to believe this, but the President put Qwark in charge of the fight against Nefarious. Our new commander just called his first team meeting. You'd better get back to the Phoenix right away.

Ratchet: (speaking unintelligible tyhrranese)

Clank: I agree. This does not sound good.

On-screen: You got the Tyhrra-Guise!

Miscellaneous challenges
(Upon approaching the arena screen.) On-screen: Enter Deathcourse

(Randomly, while traversing any Deathcourse challenge)


 * Announcer:
 * That was close!
 * Did you see that?!
 * This little guy can really move!
 * Oh yeah! That's entertainment, folks.

(Sometimes upon entering the second to last room before completing a deathcourse challenge.) Announcer: He could go all the way!

(Sometimes upon finishing a deathcourse challenge.) Announcer: How about that, folks?

(Upon finishing an arena or deathcourse challenge, where X is the amount of bolts won.) On-screen: Congratulations!

Reward: XXXX bolts

(Upon finishing the all Annihilation Nation challenges, where X is the amount of bolts won.) On-screen: Congratulations!

Reward: XXXX bolts

You got the Annihilation Nation Champion Trophy!

(Sometimes upon finishing an arena challenge.) Announcer: We have a new champion! Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Ratchet!

(Sometimes upon the electric traps on the floor activating during an arena challenge.)


 * Announcer:
 * Positively shocking!
 * Weatherman says: lightning storms heading your way!

(Sometimes upon the spinning traps on the floor activating during an arena challenge.)


 * Announcer:
 * Let me tell ya, those things'll take your eyebrows off. Ouch!
 * Ever wondered what a shaved lombax looks like? Let's find out!

(Sometimes upon the floor opening up in the middle.)


 * Announcer:
 * Don't fall in!
 * Hey lombax, don't look down!

(Sometimes upon the turret appearing from the opening.) Announcer: Time for a little surprise!

(Upon Gary landing on the arena)


 * Gary:
 * (rawrs)
 * Remember me?

(Before firing his rockets)


 * Gary:
 * (laughs)
 * Feel the pain, lombax!

(Upon Helen switching with Gary)


 * Gary:
 * I'm outta here!
 * Whip it good, Helen!
 * Tag me in, babe!

(When Helen dies) Gary: Somebody call a tow truck!

(Upon Helen landing on the arena) Helen: Mwah! Thank you! Thank you! I know I'm beautiful!

(Sometimes before swinging her whip)
 * (laughs)
 * Let's do it!

(Upon Gary switching with Helen)


 * Helen:
 * Your turn!
 * Light 'em up, Gary!

(Sometimes upon attacking Scorpio in any challenge other than BBQ Boulevard)


 * Scorpio:
 * I like my lombax medium rare!
 * I will cut you like a quiche!
 * I was going to kill you quick, but I have changed my mind!

(Sometimes upon being hit by Scorpio in any challenge other than BBQ Boulevard)


 * Scorpio:
 * (laughs)
 * Viva la Scorpio!
 * Who does your hair? It is terrible!
 * I promise just a little off the top!

(Upon starting a timed challenge.) On-screen: Timed Round

Announcer: This event is a time limit challenge.

(Upon running out of time during a timed challenge.) On-screen: Time up!

Announcer: Aww, he's outta time!

(Upon starting any one weapon challenge.)


 * Announcer:
 * Can the challenge be won with one weapon?!
 * He's gonna have to do this with one weapon, folks!

(Sometimes during any one weapon challenge.) Announcer: Where's he keeping all these guns?! I mean come on!

(Upon running out of ammo in any one weapon challenge.) On-screen: You Lose!

(Upon starting a sleeping gas challenge.) On-screen: Sleeping Gas Round

Announcer: It's time to bruise or snooze!

(Randomly during any sleeping gas round)


 * Announcer:
 * You're getting very sleepy!
 * (sniffs) Smell that gas? Not much longer now!

(Upon starting a cycling weapons challenge.) On-screen: Cycling Weapons Round

Announcer: All right, folks. This time it's switch to get rich! It's time to do the weapon switcharoo!

(Randomly during any cycling weapons round)


 * Announcer:
 * Whoa! Look at the size of that thing!
 * Hey, buddy. You got a permit for that?!

(Sometimes upon running out of ammo for a weapon during a cycling round) Announcer: Get ready for the switch

Announcer: Now! Switch weapons!

(Upon starting Championship Bout I, II, and the Qwarktastic Challenge.) Announcer: Pay attention folks, this time we're gonna switch the challenge mode in mid-round!

(Upon switching challenge mode during any of the above challenges) Announcer: Get ready to switch challenge modes.

(Upon selecting the Whip It Good challenge without owning the Plasma Whip.) On-screen: You need the Plasma Whip to enter this challenge.

(Upon selecting the Hydra'N Seek challenge without owning the Spitting Hydra.) On-screen: You need the Spitting Hydra to enter this challenge.

(Upon selecting the Chop Chop challenge without owning the Disc Blade Gun.) On-screen: You need the Discblade Gun to enter this challenge.

(Upon selecting the Time To Suck challenge without owning the Suck Cannon.) On-screen: You need the Suck Cannon to enter this challenge.

(Upon selecting the Sleep Inducer challenge without owning the Rift Inducer.) On-screen: You need the Rift Inducer to enter this challenge.

(Upon selecting The Other White Mean challenge without owning the Qwack-O-Ray.) On-screen: You need the Qwack-o-Ray to enter this challenge.

(Upon returning to Ratchet's ship.) Announcer: Come back anytime to compete for cash prizes!

Return to the Starship Phoenix (gameplay)
Qwark: Ladies and gentlemen! Oh, and Helga. Welcome to the Q-Force! You have been assembled here because each of you is an expert in your particular field. From Al's mastery of electronics, to Skidd's nerves of steel.

Skidd McMarx: Hey!

Qwark: To Helga's sensual powers of seduction (rawrs). Each of you has shown that you are worthy to wear the Q! Years ago I single-handedly defeated Dr. Nefarious, but like a rash on the galaxy's backside he has flared up again. Our first mission will be to infiltrate the doctor's top secret base on planet Aquatos. Impossible, you say? Perhaps for a lesser strategerist. Behold, my brilliant plan!

Mission Idiotic
Qwark: First, Ratchet and Clank will descend to the sea floor and wade through a series of tunnels flooded with waist-high raw sewage.

Ratchet: What?!

Qwark: Please hold your questions until the end of the presentation. After infiltrating the base, our agents will split up. Clank will enter the base's ventilation system, where he will locate and deploy this Banana Guided Autonomus Monkey Device, or BGAMD.

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

Qwark: Meanwhile, Ratchet will use his extensive knowledge of the tyhrranoid language and customs to win the trust of the bloodthirsty alien guards. Finally, our agents will make their way to Nefarious' personal office, steal everything that isn't nailed down, and exfiltrate the base completely undetected!

(After the cutscene plays.) Ratchet: That's crazy!

Qwark: But it just might work!

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Deep Sea Hideout, Planet Aquatos

Play the Qwark vid-comic Episode 2 (gameplay)
(Upon entering the hangar.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Ratchet, I urgently need to know how the Qwark vs. Nefarious vid-comic series ends. When are you going to play your new comic?

Al (communicator): Ratchet, I urgently need to know how the Qwark vs. Nefarious vid-comic series ends. When are you going to play your new comic?

Emergency Plan Number 2
Narrator: Qwark Comic episode two: Arriba Amoeba.

Narrator: A new evil was gathering in the shadowy swamps of Blackwater City. A horrific breed of monsters, known as amoeboids. Born in the laboratories of a twisted scientist named Dr. Nefarious.

Nefarious: To think, they called me insane, Lawrence! We'll see who's insane when my pets have exterminated all life on this miserable planet!

Lawrence: That should clear things right up, sir.

Narrator: When Captain Qwark encountered the amoeboids for the first time, he immediately executed emergency response plan: number two.

Qwark: Hey, wait just a minute!

Narrator: Qwark then proceeded to stall for time while he coordinated the city's defenses from the women's restroom at Galaxy Burger.

Qwark: Give me that thing, you lying no good!

Narrator: Ooph!

Qwark: Right, now where were we? From the moment I touched down, I knew the situation called for a head-on assault. Without hesitation I rushed to do heroic battle with the monstrous amoeboid horde!

Play the Qwark vid-comic Episode 2 (gameplay continued)
(On gaining control of Qwark.) Nefarious: It's time to fight blob with blob!

(Upon approaching the jump slot.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Alright, now for the fancy stuff. Press while I'm in the air near a wall to see my awesome wall-kick move.

Qwark (communicator): All right, now for the fancy stuff. Press X while I'm in the air near a wall to see my awesome wall-kick move.

(Upon picking up the flame blaster for the first time.) Qwark: Barbecue time!

HelpDesk (on-screen): Press to fire my blaster. Hold down and move the Left  for precision aiming.

Qwark (communicator): Press circle to fire my blaster. Hold down R1 and move the left analog stick for precision aiming.

Qwark Holds His Breath
Narrator: His amoeboid army defeated, Dr. Nefarious had no choice but to flee Blackwater City in disgrace.

Nefarious: You've not seen the last of me! I will have my vengeance if it it take a thousand years! (laughs)

Narrator: Dr. Nefarious was right about one thing: he and Qwark would meet again and sooner than he realized, for a true hero like Captain Qwark will stop at nothing in the name of justice!

Qwark: What?! I held my breath!

(While traveling to Planet Aquatos.) Clank: Incoming call.

Ratchet: Oh no.

Director: Clank, bubby! You're killing me!

Clank: Excuse me?

Director: I'm trying to make a picture here and mister big-shot star is nowhere to be found!

Clank: I am currently occupied with a mission of galactic security.

Director: Right, right. I get it. You want a bigger trailer? Done. You want a daily oil massage? Done! I need my star on the set, pronto! Capeech?

Ratchet: (Makes fuzzing sounds) Uhh, you're uhh, breaking up! (fuzz).

Director: You know I can see you, weasel boy.

Ratchet: Oh, yeah? How about now?

Ratchet: He'll figure something out, we've got work to do!

Infiltrate the Underwater Hideout (gameplay)
Ratchet: Skidd?! What're you doing here?

Skidd McMarx: My code-name is Shadow Dude, bro. Black ops are my es-specialty. I figured you guys could use my help.

Ratchet: Uh, thanks Shadow Dude, but I think we've got this one covered.

Skidd McMarx: All right. I'll just take my Hacker and go back up to the ship.

Ratchet: Hacker? Oh, well, you know, on second thought, I think we'd like you to join the mission, Shadow Dude.

(Upon getting damaged.) Skidd McMarx: You just gonna take that?!

Skidd McMarx: Awesome! This is gonna be sick!

(Upon opening the first door.) Skidd McMarx: Awesome!

(Upon Skidd jumping up the ledge to the second door.) Skidd McMarx: Bogus!

(Upon Skidd approaching the first Hacker puzzle.) Skidd McMarx: Piece of cake!

(Upon Skidd solving the first Hacker puzzle and crossing the bridge.) Skidd McMarx: Woohoo!

(Upon Skidd approaching the water pool.) Skidd McMarx: Bogus!

(Upon approaching Skidd next to the water pool.) Skidd McMarx: Sorry, dude. I can't swim!

(Upon diving into the water.) HelpDesk (on-screen): You haven't forgotten how to swim, have you? Press to dive and  to rise. Press harder to dive or rise faster. Your helmet will provide oxygen. At least, in theory.

Al (communicator): You haven't forgotten how to swim, have you? Press square to dive and X to rise. Press harder to dive or rise faster. Your helmet will provide oxygen. At least, in theory.

(Upon climbing the ladder after surfacing from the water pool.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Be careful down there, my scanners show a huge biomass moving toward you down the drainpipe.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Be careful down there, my scanners show a huge biomass moving toward you down the drainpipe.

(Upon opening the door for Skidd after defeating the first king amoeboid.) Skidd McMarx: Yo, dudes!

(Upon the hoverbots appearing in the next room.) Skidd McMarx: I've got your back, dude.

(Upon Skidd approaching the second Hacker puzzle.) Skidd McMarx: I'm on it!

(Upon Skidd solving the first Hacker puzzle and crossing the bridge.) Skidd McMarx: Awesome!

(Upon opening the door for Skidd after crossing the second bridge.) Skidd McMarx: Woah!

(Upon pressing a button that opens the three doors in the following room.) Skidd McMarx: Ratchet!

(Upon opening the door for Skidd after defeating the second king amoeboid.) Skidd McMarx: Hey, Ratchet! What's going on?!

(Upon Skidd approaching the third Hacker puzzle.) Skidd McMarx: Piece of cake!

(Upon Skidd solving the first Hacker puzzle and crossing the bridge.) Skidd McMarx: Yo, dudes!

(Upon Skidd entering the lift.) Skidd McMarx: Ratchet!

(Upon exiting the lift.) Slim Cognito: Psst!

Skidd McMarx: (screams)

Ratchet: Shh! Clank, did you hear that?

Clank: We are not alone.

Skidd McMarx: Hey uh, dudes? I, uh, forget to feed my goldfish. I'll see you back at the-...

Slim Cognito: Psst!

Skidd McMarx: (screams)

Slim Cognito: Well, if it ain't two of my best customers.

Ratchet: Slim Cognito?! What are you doing down here?

Slim Cognito: I had a small run in with the cops concerning a Suck Cannon upgrade that was mistakenly sold to a minor. I swear, the kid looked eighteen! Anyway, I needed to find a less conspicuous place to do business. I take it you two are still in the market?

Ratchet: Well, let's see what you've got.

Find Nefarious' Office (gameplay)
Clank: There is the ventilation shaft. We must split up here.

Ratchet: Yeah. Well, I guess it's time to put on the Tyhrra-Guise and go meet my new pals.

Clank: Good luck. I will assist you if I can.

Ratchet: (In Tyhrranese) How do you work this thing?

Clank: Perhaps you should have read the instruction manual.

Ratchet: (In Tyhrranese) What instruction manual?

Clank: It was nice knowing you, Ratchet.

Ratchet: (In Tyhrranese) Son of a Qwark!

(Upon approaching the briefcase on the ground.) Skrunch: (monkey noises)

Clank: No monkeying around! Hmmm, monkeying! (chuckles)

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

Clank: Ahem, we are on an important mission!

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

HelpDesk (on-screen): Clank, that little sucker'll chase bananas anyplace you shoot em. Give it a try.

Qwark (communicator): Clank, that little sucker'll chase bananas anyplace you shoot 'em. Give it a try!

(Upon approaching the spotlight.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Clank, if the guards discover you, just shoot a banana and have the monkey distract 'em.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Clank, if the guards discover you, just shoot a banana and have the monkey distract 'em.

(Upon approaching the bridge.) Clank: Hmm. Ratchet, I need you to extend the bridge at junction G-5.

Ratchet: (In Tyhrranese) I'm on it.

(Upon disabling the Tyhrra-Guise and setting off the alarm.) HelpDesk (on-screen): You will need to use the Tyhrra-Guise to infiltrate this area.

HelpDesk: You will need to use the Tyhrra-Guise to infiltrate this area.

(Upon approaching the tyhrranoid.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Ratchet, I found some online instructions for the Tyhrra-Guise! Let's see... when you fspeak to a Tyhrranoid, you should see a holographic display. Just tap or hold the correct button as it moves across your display. Watch what you say, though, these guys have really nasty tempers!

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Ratchet, I found some online instructions for the Tyhrra-Guise! Let's see, when you speak to a tyhrranoid, you should see a holographic display. Just tap or hold the correct button as it moves across your display. Watch what you say, though, these guys have really nasty tempers!

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the first challenge.) On-screen: Excuse me, good sir. Would you kindly open that door for me?

On-screen: It is an honor and a privilege, my Tyhrranoid brother.

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the second challenge.) On-screen: I have to deliver a message from Dr. Nefarious.

On-screen: You look suspicious. Who are you?

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the third challenge.) On-screen: I am a loyal servant of Dr. Nefarious. Certainly not a Lombax.

On-screen: Very well. One can't be too careful.

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the fourth challenge.) On-screen: Don't tell anyone, but I hid 5 bolts under this girder.

On-screen: Haha, sucker it's all mine now!

(Upon obtaining Gadgebots.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Look, Gadgebots! Heh heh, I love those little guys. To give them commands, just hold and select a command with the Left

Al (communicator): Look, Gadgebots! (chuckles) I love those little guys. To give them commands, just hold triangle and select a command with the left analog stick.

(Upon approaching the bot port.) HelpDesk (on-screen): That gate with the number on it is a "bot port". Select "enter" from the bot command menu to order your Gadgebots into the port. When the number hits zero, the port will unlock.

Qwark (communicator): That gate with the number on it is a bot port. Select enter from the bot command menu to order your Gadgebots into the port. When the number hits zero, the port will unlock.

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the fifth challenge.) On-screen: I'm here to repair the holo-vid in the break room.

On-screen: It's about time! We missed yesterday's Secret Agent Clank episode!

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the sixth challenge.) On-screen: Would you mind extending the bridge, sir?

On-screen: You have no clearance. How do I know I can trust you?

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the seventh challenge.) On-screen: Because I'll give you my sister's phone number... and I'm definitely not a Lombax.

On-screen: Oh, why didn't you say so?

(Upon entering the final room at the end of the hall.) Clank: (chuckles) Well, what took you so long?

Ratchet: Clank?! What are you doing here!? You're supposed to meet me on the surface!

Clank: I thought I would help.

Ratchet: Well, you can give me a hand searching Dr. Nefarious' office. Hmm, let's see.

Ratchet: Whoa, look at this, the complete Secret Agent Clank holo-vid collection! This guy's your biggest fan!

Clank: That's is rather disturbing.

Clank: I have downloaded an encrypted star map. Perhaps Al can decode it.

Ratchet: Great! Let's get back to the Phoenix!

Gather Sewer Crystals (gameplay)
(Upon approaching the Plumber.) Ratchet: Woah, déjà vu!

Plumber: Ow! Oh, it's you two again, right on schedule. This here's one of the nastiest, smelliest, sewers in the galaxy. Most guys wouldn't set foot in a place like this. But me- (sniffs) I just can't get enough.

Ratchet: Right. Well, we were just passing through. You can get back to whatever you were doing.

Plumber: Hey, if you find any sewer crystals, I'll pay you for 'em in bolts. I'm making something special for the missus.

Ratchet: Sewer crystals, uh-huh. We'll keep that in mind.

(Upon approaching the Plumber with sewer crystals, where X is the amount of crystals and bolts.) On-screen: Sell XX Sewer Crystals for XXX,XXX bolts.

(Upon approaching the Plumber without sewer crystals.) On-screen: There are XX Sewer Crystals left to find.

(Upon collecting 12 sewer crystals without having returned to the Phoenix first.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Ratchet, bring that Star Map you stole from Nefarious back to the Phoenix. I've got a plan, and I think you're gonna like it.

Qwark (communicator): Ratchet, bring that star map you stole from Nefarious back to the Phoenix. I've got a plan, and I think you're gonna like it.

(Upon giving the Plumber at least the first two crystals.) Plumber: (sniffs) Ahh. Fresh from the bowels of a king amoeboid.

(Upon giving all sewer crystals to the plumber.) Ratchet: That's the last of 'em.

Plumber: Now, I can finally make my wife that sewer crystal necklace she's always wanted.

Ratchet: Say, what are sewer crystals, exactly?

Plumber: Ooh, pfft. Trust me, it's better you don't know. Well boys I'll be seeing ya, one of these days.

Dirty Laundry and Whatnot
Lawrence: Sorry to disturb your work, sir. But you may want to know that your impenetrable secret base on Aquatos has been penetrated.

Nefarious: Impossible!

Lawrence: If you say so, sir. They apparently stole some sort of data disk. Well, I must be off now. Dirty laundry and whatnot.

Nefarious: Who is responsible for this outrage!

Lawrence: I believe it was a Captain Qwark or something.

Nefarious: Qwa..!

Lance: Oh Janice, you'll always be the love of my life.

Lawrence: You really should have that looked at.

Nefarious ...ark! That moron could never hope to match wits with the likes of me!

Lawrence: If anyone can beat a moron at his own game, it's you, sir. He has, however, assembled a group of elite agents known as the Q-Force.

Nefarious: What!? This Q-Force must be stopped! Destroy them! Eradicate them! Annihilate them all! (laughs)

Lawrence: It's on my to-do list. Right after folding your under-garments.

Return to the Phoenix (gameplay)
Qwark: Well team, I believe some congratulations are in order! Heh, after all, my plan worked even more perfectly than expected. Well?

Skidd McMarx: Uh, way to go, dude?

Qwark: Don't mention it! I'm just doing my job.

Ratchet: Ugh!

Qwark: Now that I know where the tyhrranoids are coming from, I can put a stop to this alien menace once and for all. With utter disregard for my own safety, I've drawn up an ingenious plan for an attack on Tyhrranosis!

Plan of Attack
Qwark: First, I shall humbly step aside allowing Ratchet to free-fall down and take out the mortar launchers at the landing site. Once the mortars have been silenced, the dropship will make its descent.

Qwark: Next, Ratchet will take the assault vehicle from the dropship, make his way to the four plasma cannon turrets, and destroy them. Once the turrets have been knocked out, Ratchet will personally lead the assault on the main enemy base.

Qwark: All right! Let's get to it! Yes, you there at the front.

Ratchet: Uh, yeah, hi. I was just wondering, what are the rest of you going to be doing while I'm down there getting blasted?

Qwark: We'll be monitoring the situation. Closely, from here.

Qwark: Actually we'll be down at the lunch buffet on deck five. It's meatloaf day! But we'll be rooting for you every step of the way!

Skidd McMarx: Yeah, man. We got your back!

Helga: Yeah! The plan is excellent!

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Korgon Base, Planet Tyhrranosis

(Upon entering the hangar.) HelpDesk (on-screen): A new suit of armor is available at the Gadgetron armor vendor!

HelpDesk: A new suit of armor is available at the Gadgetron armor vendor!

HelpDesk (on-screen): Ratchet, that new armor suit for sale at the vendor is constructed from ionized Adamantine alloy! That's one of the hardest substances in the galaxy... but I suppose you already knew that.

Al (communicator): Ratchet, that new armor suit for sale at the vendor is constructed from ionized adamantine alloy! That's one of the hardest substances in the galaxy, but I suppose you already knew that.

Destroy the plasma cannon turrets (gameplay)
Sasha Phyronix: Nice work, Ratchet. I'm coming in on the dropship now.

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

Sasha Phyronix: Go, Ratchet! Get across that bridge.

(After the cutscene plays.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To access your world map, press SELECT or R3.

HelpDesk: To access your world map, press SELECT or R3.

Destroy the Momma Tyhrranoid (gameplay)
(Upon destroying all of the plasma cannon turrets.) Sasha Phyronix: Time to finish the job, Ratchet. Get moving!

(Upon stepping onto the elevator.) On-screen: Enter Control Room

(Upon stepping onto the elevator from inside the control room.) On-screen: Exit Control Room

(Upon the camera entering the perspective of the Momma Tyhrranoid.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Head's up!

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Head's up!

(Upon the Momma Tyhrranoid beginning to fire at Ratchet.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Look out!

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Look out!

(Upon defeating the Momma Tyhrranoid.) Darla Gratch: Captain Qwark. First you made another miraculous comeback. Now you've defeated the tyhrranoids in a spectacular battle on their own planet. How do you explain your recent success?

Qwark: Courage, compassion, dashing good looks, iron hard abs!

Qwark: Seriously though, to be a true hero of heroes, you need more than loads of charisma and a brilliant tactical mind. I couldn't have done it without these massive guns!

(After the cutscene plays.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Glad to see you made it through in one piece, Ratchet. You must have quite a story to tell. Why don't you come back to the Phoenix and fill us in.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Glad to see you made it through in one piece, Ratchet. You must have quite a story to tell. Why don't you come back to the Phoenix and fill us in.

Assault on Kavu Island (gameplay)
(Upon exiting the dropship.) Ranger: Geronimo!

(A few seconds after landing on the ground.) Ranger: Covering fire!

(Upon approaching the bolt crank.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Press to attach the wrench to the bolt crank.

HelpDesk: Press square to attach the wrench to the bolt crank.

(Upon tyhrranoids appearing from the other side of the bridge.) Ranger: Take cover! The 'noids are coming over the bridge!

(Upon defeating all of the tyhrranoids.) Ranger: There's a hovership pad near the center of the island. We need to get out there and capture it!

(Upon the rangers walking up to the group of one-eyed tyhrranoids and two turrets.) Ranger: This place is crawling with 'noids!

(Upon defeating the group of one-eyed tyhrranoids) Ranger: There's the hovership! We need to push the 'noids back and secure the area!

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: The hovership pad has been secured! Let's head back to base and get briefed for the next mission!

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 8000 bolts

Dogfight over Kavu Island (gameplay)
(Upon starting the mission.) Ranger: We need air support! Get to the hovership and blast those dropships out of the sky!

(Upon approaching the bolt crank.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To fly the Hovership, use the Left. Press or  to ascend,  or  to descend. Use the Right to aim, and press  or  to fire rockets.

HelpDesk: To fly the Hovership, use the left analog stick. Press X or R1 to ascend, square or L2 to descend. Use the right analog stick to aim, and press circle or R1 to fire rockets.

(Upon shooting down the first tyhrranoid dropship.) Ranger: We'll take care of the saucers, sarge. Keep blasting those dropships!

(Upon shooting down the third dropship.) Ranger: Woohoo! Let 'em have it, sarge!

(Upon shooting down the fifth dropship.) Ranger: They're everywhere!

(Upon shooting down the sixth dropship.) Ranger: These saucers should back off once you take out the last of the dropships!

(Upon shooting down the eighth dropship.) Ranger: They just keep coming! We can't hold out much longer!

(Upon defeating the last dropship.) Ranger: All right! That'll teach those 'noids to mess with us!

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 12000 bolts

Operation Thunderbolt (gameplay)
(Upon starting the mission.) Ranger: The tyhrranoid base is protected by an impenetrable forcefield! We're still trying to figure out a way to get past it. In the meantime, command wants you to take the hovership and wipe out the 'noid forces in the surrounding areas.

(After clearing out most of the enemies in the area.) Ranger 1: Anybody have any idea how we're supposed to shut down this forcefield?

Ranger 2: Uh, H-26, why don't you try sticking your finger in the main power transformer?

Ranger 1: Are you sure that's a good idea, sir? This thing looks pretty dangerous.

Ranger 2: Suck it up, 26! You got nothin' to worry about! I got special training wheel eletrconic- uh.. thingamajiggies!

Ranger 1: Okay, here goes. (screams)

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger 2: H-26? Comeback?

Ranger 3: Uh, H-26 has been vaporized, sir. But the forcefield has been deactivated!

Ranger 2: All right! That trooper deserves a medal. Complete your mission and report back to base for briefing!

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 16000 bolts

The Final Battle (gameplay)
(Upon starting the mission.) Ranger: The 'noids are just about finished. Trust me, sarge. This one's gon' be a cakewalk.

(Upon walking onto the first bridge.) Ranger: You see? Like I said, these 'noids don't have the ba-... What the? Ambush! (screams) Run for your lives!

(Upon the dropship appearing.) Ranger: The 'noids are bringing in reinforcements by air!

(Upon approaching the area near the hovership pad.) Ranger: Incoming!

(Upon approaching the area past the hovership pad.) Ranger: Keep your eyes peeled! The 'noids might be waiting for us at the next bridge!

(Upon walking onto the second bridge.) Ranger: This is it, ladies! Move in and wipe 'em out!

(Upon defeating all of the dropships.) Ranger: Mission accomplished! We are now in complete control of Kavu Island.

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 20000 bolts

Return to the Phoenix (gameplay)
Ratchet: It was the biggest tyhrranoid you've ever seen.

Sasha Phyronix: (chuckles)

Ratchet: Big as a star cruiser and packing twice as much firepower! There was no escape, he was coming right at me. Closer, closer, what am I gonna do, right? Closer, even closer. Click! Click! My blaster jammed!

Skidd McMarx: No way! What happened next!?

Lawrence: Yes, go on. We're all riveted.

Nefarious: So, this is the mighty Q-Force I've heard so much about. Pathetic! I could obliterate the lot of you and they wouldn't even mention it in Supervillain Weekly!

Lawrence: True, sir. But you'll have done the fashion world an enormous service.

Nefarious: And as for you, Agent Clank. I have far grander plans for you! (laughs)

Nefarious: All right, Lawrence. You can turn it off now!

Lawrence: Oh, may I sir? What a treat.

Ratchet: Al, come in!

Al: Y'ello.

Ratchet: Someone just transmitted a hologram onto the ship. I need to know where the signal came from.

Al: Let's see, backtracking the signal. Hmm, six-pass alpha-key encryption? Amateurs!

Al: I got it! It came from a facility on Planet Daxx. Accessing their computer files.

Ratchet: Planet Daxx?

Al: Ah-ha! I found something suspicious. Patching it through now.

Supervillain Weekly
Announcer: Tonight, we take a journey inside the enigmatic mind of our galaxy's foremost evil genius, Dr. Nefarious. We'll take a tour of this secret facility on planet Daxx, home to some of the galaxy's most insidious super-weapons, including the dreaded Rainbow Afrolizer. Dr. Nefarious, we've all enjoyed your past work, but how do you respond to critics who say that your latest galactic schemes are just more of the same?

Nefarious: I will annihilate them!!

Announcer: Lawrence, tell us a bit about this top secret super-weapon being constructed on planet Daxx?

Lawrence: Well, super is such a strong word. For that matter, weapon may be a tad over-doing it. We do, however, have a lovely view of the ocean at sunset.

Announcer: Is Dr. Nefarious poised on the brink of galactic domination? Or is this super-weapon just the latest in a series of maniacal pipe dreams? Stay tuned for more from SuperVillain Weekly!

(After the cutscene plays.) Sasha Phyronix: Whatever Nefarious is doing on Daxx, it can't be good.

Ratchet: We'll check it out.

Al: You're welcome!

Complete VR Gadget Training (gameplay)
(Upon walking past the VR deck room.) Helga: So, you've come back to disgrace my training course once again! Hmm?

Ratchet: Actually, we were hoping we could just pick up the gadgets and split.

Clank: We have a spaceship to catch.

Helga: Hah! You slackers are always looking for the easy way out. When you can pass the course, you can have the device!

(Upon approaching the Hypershot platform.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Those platforms can be activated with the Hypershot.

HelpDesk: Those platforms can be activated with the Hypershot.

(Upon approaching the Hypershot target.) HelpDesk (on-screen): The green object is a Hypershot target. Press and hold to connect to the target. Release the button to let go. Use for more precise aiming.

HelpDesk: The green object is a Hypershot target. Press and hold circle to connect to the target. Release the button to let go. Use L1 for more precise aiming.

(With lock strafe mode enabled.) HelpDesk (on-screen): The green object is a Hypershot target. Press and hold to connect to the target. Release the button to let go. Use for more precise aiming.

(Upon tapping .) HelpDesk (on-screen): You are letting go too soon. Hold until you are over the target area.

HelpDesk (communicator): You are letting go too soon. Hold circlee until you are over the target area.

(Upon approaching the blocked jump slots.) HelpDesk (on-screen): That Hacker is used to crack security terminals. Just stand near a terminal and press to hack in.

Al (communicator): That Hacker is used to crack security terminals. Just stand near a terminal and press triangle to hack in.

(Upon entering the Hacker terminal.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Press to collect the green code snippets. Press to destroy the red defense programs. The blue defenses are indestructible.

HelpDesk: Press square to collect the green code snippets. Press circle to destroy the red defense programs. The blue defenses are indestructible.

(Upon traversing the gadget training course.)
 * Helga:
 * Faster!
 * Hurry up, lombax!
 * Ha! That was pathetic!
 * Hmph. That was okay, I guess.
 * Keep going, you pansy! You run like a girl!

(Upon finishing the training course.) Ratchet: All right-y, we'll just take those gadgets and be on our way.

Helga: Oh ya! The little man is cocky now! (laughs) Maybe you'd like to meet Helga on the wrestling mat? Hm? We'll see how cocky you are twisted up like a wet noodle.

Ratchet: Uh, maybe next time.

Helga: Pansies!

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Research Facility, Planet Daxx

Infiltrate the Weapons Facility (gameplay)
(Upon exiting the ship.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Al here. The Daxx facility has two high-security computer terminals. My information indicates that one of them is somewhere out in the islands. The other is inside the main building.

Al (communicator): Al, here. The Daxx facility has two high-security computer terminals. My information indicates that one of them is somewhere out in the islands. The other is inside the main building.

(Upon finding the Charge Boots.) On-screen: You got the Charge Boots!

HelpDesk (on-screen): Double tap to blast off with the Charge Boots.

HelpDesk: Double tap R1 to blast off with the Charge Boots.

(With lock strafe mode enabled.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Double tap to blast off with the Charge Boots.

HelpDesk: Double tap R2 to blast off with the Charge Boots.

(Randomly, upon exploring the research facility)
 * Overhead speaker:
 * Congratulations to employee JX-34 on his promotion to killbot first class.
 * All organic lifeforms, report to sector eight for immediate execution. Thank you for your cooperation.
 * Use of the office network for online gaming is strictly prohibited.
 * Are you interested in a career in the exciting fields of: Building security, execution, or VCR repair? Visit the job fair on level two.
 * By order of Dr. Nefarious: Casual Fridays have been cancelled, indefinitely.

(Upon entering the interior of the facility.) On-screen: Security breach in sector five, all units respond.

(Upon entering the second room in the facility.) On-screen: Warning: intruder detected in sector three. All units shoot to kill.

(Upon entering the third room in the facility.) On-screen: Intruder detected in sector nine. All units terminate with extreme prejudice.

(Upon approaching the computer terminal in the last room of the facility.) Clank: This terminal should give us high level access to all of Nefarious' project files.

Clank: I found something. I am afraid it does not look good.

Ratchet: Biobliterator? Huh, I see what you mean. What exactly does it do?

Clank: That information has been deleted.

Ratchet: Uh-oh. Well, where is this thing?

Clank: Location unknown. However, a large transport vessel left this facility yesterday. It was headed for the Obani moon system.

Ratchet: The Obani moons, huh? Well, we better check it out.

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Obani Moons, Zygan System

Explore the Docks (gameplay)
(Upon approaching the computer terminal after defeating the dropship.) Ratchet: Check it out! Looks like somebody's a big fan of Courtney Gears.

Clank: Courtney who?

Ratchet: Come on, remember that bombshell handing out prizes on Annihilation Nation?

Clank: Ah, yes. Her specifications were remarkable.

Ratchet: Yeah, well she's not the hottest pop star in the galaxy because of her singing. Clank: That is odd, it appears this computer was recently used to edit one of her music videos.

Ratchet: Ooh! Let's watch it! I mean, you know, it may contain a clue or something.

Courtney Gears Music Video
Courtney Gears: Yeah, what's up people? It's Courtney Gears! Are you feeling me robots? I'm feeling you!

Courtney Gears (singing): I see the future and what do I see? Robots goin' crazy 'cross the galaxy! Can't stand organics, they're soft and squishy! The time is now, we robots must be free!

Courtney Gears: Do you wanna be free? Then shout with me, yeah!

Courtney Gears (singing): This goes out to all you robots 'cross the galaxy! It's time for you and me to rise up and strike back! Don't stop until we dominate, won't you feel great! When we exterminate all organic life!

Clank: Hmm, Miss Gears may be in league with Dr. Nefarious.

Ratchet: Yeah, who knew? She always seemed so sweet and innocent in her videos. Well, except for that one with the-.. (beatboxing)

Clank: Ahem, she might possess information about what Nefarious is planning.

Ratchet: Oh, right! And if we win that grand prize on Annihilation Nation we'll get another chance to talk to her!

(Upon returning to your ship after completing both missions.) Skidd McMarx: How do you work this camera whatchamacallit. Whoops! That's a bummer. Ouch!

Skidd McMarx: Hey Ratchet! What's up?!

Ratchet: Hi, Skidd. Can we talk to Sasha?

Skidd McMarx: Sasha and Qwark are meeting the president, man. They left me in charge of the ship!

Ratchet: What?! I mean, I see. Uh, well, is Al there?

Skidd McMarx: He's out to lunch.

Ratchet: Helga?

Skidd McMarx: In the sauna.

Clank: Qwark's monkey, perhaps?

Ratchet: Just tell Sasha that Clank and I are checking out a lead on the Obani moons.

Skidd McMarx: The Obani moons?! Sounds like you guys could use some backup. I'll grab my gear and meet you there.

Ratchet: No, no, no! Ugh, great.

Repair the Satellite laser links
(Upon idling without aiming the laser beam at the satellites.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Hey, Ratchet, use your Refractor to aim the laser beam at the satellites! ...sheesh, why does he get all the fun jobs?

Al (communicator): Hey, Ratchet! Use your Refractor to aim the laser beam at the satellites! Sheesh, why does he get all the fun jobs?!

Explore the Second Moon (gameplay)
(Upon reaching the last moon's disintegration field.) Skidd McMarx: Cover me! Man down!

Ratchet: It's all right, Skidd. The fight's over.

Skidd McMarx: Yes! I mean, no. That blows, man. I woulda been here sooner, but I encountered some heavy duty resistance.

Clank: Enemy troops?

Skidd McMarx: Well, uh, not exactly. The drive-thru at Galaxy Burger was wicked slow, and-...

Ratchet: Anyway, looks like that last moon is surrounded by an omega class disintegration field. Whatever is going on out there, it can't be good. If I had the right tools, I could hack into that generator and shut the field down.

Skidd McMarx: Hey, lucky for you dudes I brought this! Stand back, bro. I'm like a trained professional and stuff! Don't try this at home.

Skidd McMarx: Aw, man! It's busted! Oh wait, never mind.

Clank: Incoming call from the Galactic Rangers.

Blackwater Attack
Ranger: Sarge! Blackwater City is under attack! The 'noids came out of nowhere! The situation is extremely uh, it's uh, well we're pretty much hosed, sir.

Ranger 2: Run for your lives! (screams)

Ranger: Sir, requesting immediate assistance!

(After the cutscene plays.) Skidd McMarx: Woah! I guess I'll be canceling that hoverboard trip to Blackwater City.

Ratchet: The Rangers need our help. Let's go!

Skidd McMarx: Uh, I'll like, catch up with you guys. I think this lock is gonna take a while.

Ratchet: Okay. Give us a call if anything comes up.

On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Blackwater City, Rilgar

The Battle of Blackwater City (gameplay)
(Upon dodging all of the missiles while descending.) Ranger: Woah, are we glad to see you, sarge. The 'noids are getting ready for a major attack against our base.

(Upon landing.) Ranger: Incoming!

(Upon the dropships approaching.) Ranger: Enemy aircraft! The 'noids are dropping in reinforcements!

(When the tyhrranoid saucers appear.) Ranger: Incoming saucers!

(Upon the tyhrranoids crossing the bridge.) Ranger: Look out! The 'noids are coming across the bridge!

(Upon the mecha tyhrranoids approaching the rangers.) Ranger: Fire at will!

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: Looks like the 'noids have had enough! Congratulations, sarge! You sure live up to your reputation!

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 15000 bolts

The Bridge (gameplay)
(Upon starting the challenge.) Ranger: Let's go, sarge. We've got orders to neutralize the enemy forces guarding that bridge.

(Upon the dropships approaching.) Ranger: The 'noids are dropping troops behind us! We're surrounded, run for your lives!

(When the one eyed tyhrranoids spawn at the bridge.) Ranger: The 'noids are storming the bridge!

(When the ultra mecha tyhrranoids spawn at the bridge.) Ranger: I don't wanna die!

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: Objective secure! We have captured the bridge.

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 20000 bolts

Counterattack (gameplay)
(Upon starting the challenge.) Ranger: Sarge? Somebody needs to get behind those 'noids and take 'em out!

(Upon defeating the four ultra mecha tyhrranoids.) Ranger 1: We've got orders to attack the enemy base and wipe these slime-suckers off the planet!

Ranger 2: No way, man. We're not going near that base until somebody puts those turrets out of commission!

(Upon defeating the two turrets.) Ranger 2: Let's move!

Ranger 1: Roger that!

(When the first wave of tyhrranoid saucers appear.) Ranger: Head's up! Enemy saucers!

(When the second wave of saucers appear.) Ranger: Sarge, we're getting pounded by enemy saucers! We need backup!

(Upon destroying most of the saucers.) Ranger: Woah! That was some fancy shooting, sarge!

(Upon the dropships approaching.) Ranger: Incoming!

(Upon the last wave of dropships approaching.) Ranger: Here they come! This is a big one!

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: Whew! That's the last of 'em! Blackwater City has been secured!

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: Gravity Boots

Reward: 25000 bolts

Ranger: That was a close one, Sarge. Thanks for the backup. I tripped over these Gravity Boots while I was running from the tyhrranoids. I believe they are your size.

Meet with Courtney Gears (gameplay)
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, give a big hand for Ratchet and Clank! They'll take home a rare first edition Qwark video-comic!

Announcer: And here to present the grand prize, the incredible, in comparable, in-talented, Courtney Gears!

Ratchet (whispering): If we play this right, she'll lead us straight to Dr. Nefarious! Better let me do the talking.

Ratchet: It is an honor for you to meet me. I mean, you. Me. To meet you, Miss Gears! Hi! (laughs) Hi..

Courtney Gears: My, my! You're even more gorgeous in person than you are on the holo, Agent Clank. I've got a few secrets of my own that, ah, might need your special investigation.

Clank: Uh, yes, um. Ahem. I will report your concerns to the proper authorities.

Courtney Gears: Oh Agent Clank! You always know exactly what to say to a woman. You know, I'd do anything to play a part in one of your holo-films.

Clank: That could be arranged, Miss Gears. If you are willing to provide information on the whereabouts of Dr. Nefarious.

Courtney Gears: Dr. Nefarious? Hmm, you have been busy, haven't you? You just get me that part and I'll tell you anything you want to know.

Clank: Excellent. Meet me at Holostar studios.

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Lot 42, Holostar Studios

On-screen: Qwark-Comic Issue 3: Shadow of the Robot

Film a Secret Agent Clank Episode (gameplay)
Clank: Jeeves, activate the cloaking device.

Ratchet: With pleasure, sir. Now you see us, now you-...

Ratchet: Oh, crud.

Clank: (yells)

Director: Cut, cut! That's it! You've disgraced my set for the last time, kid! Take up basket weaving! You're fired! Get me the monkey.

Ratchet: I'll see you at the trailer, Clank.

Director: Agent Clank, meet your new sidekick! All right, forget the chase scene and go right to the grande finale. You did read the script I sent you?

Clank: Er..

Director: (sighs) First you narrowly survive a series of death defying stunts.. yadda yadda.. defeat the terror of Talos! Yadda yadda yadda.. Finally, you rescue the Baroness played by the lovely Miss Courtney Gears.

Clank: Okay?

Director: And action!

(On gaining control of Clank.) Director: All right, this is the part where you take out the henchmen then chase Maxmillian out of the bar! Try to make it look real, all right? Action!

(On gaining control of Clank after running out of health.)


 * Director:
 * One more time people like we rehearsed it! And action!
 * Maxmillian strikes back! Take three! And action!
 * Maxmillian strikes back! Take five! and action!
 * Maxmillian strikes back! Take seven! and action!
 * Maxmillian strikes back! Take twelve. and action!

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Director: Oh you got the stuff, kid. Now get to Maxmillian's office before he can make his escape!

(Upon jumping on the first floating vehicle.) Director: Okay, Clank is hot on his tail! Maxmillian tries to shake him off in rush hour traffic! All right! I love a good chase scene.

(Upon jumping on the first floating vehicle.) Director: All right! You're doing great, kid. Now avoid the lasers and meet up with the monkey in the casino parking lot!

(Upon standing idle.)


 * Director:
 * Show me some emotion!
 * It's called acting, Clank. Look it up!

(Upon falling out of bounds.)


 * Director:
 * Cut!
 * Cut! All right people let's take it from the top!
 * Cut! Cut! This is what I get for letting him do his own stunts!

(Upon defeating all of the enemies in the casino parking lot.) Director: In this scene, Agent Clank and the monkey must put aside their differences and work together to reach that ledge. Let's see some real emotion out there, okay?

(Upon approaching a large gap.) Director: The bridge is out! Think fast. How would Agent Clank get across?

(Upon defeating the enemies after the Gadgebots enter the portal.) Director: Fantastic! Keep it up, Clank!

(Upon entering the door at the end of the segment.) Director: I love it!

(Upon entering the door at the end of the segment.) Director: Okay, this is it, people. The grand finale: Giant Clank versus the Terror of Talos! Don't screw this up, kid. Action!

(Upon being damaged.)


 * Director:
 * Stick to the script, Clank!
 * That's it, Max. Lay into him!

(Upon damaging the Terror of Talos.)


 * Director:
 * That's what I'm talking about!
 * Hit 'em with the kung-fu, Clank!
 * That's it Clank! Kick some-

(Upon the giant ninjas appearing.) Director: All right. Cue the giant ninjas!

(Upon defeating the Terror of Talos.) Director: Cut! Check the gate, put it in the can, and it's a wrap! Take five, people.

Clank: All in a day's work.

Director: Cut! Print it! That's a wrap, people! Pure box office raritanium, Clank! Even the critics are gonna love it!

Courtney Gears: You have no idea what a thrill it is to be rescued by a big hunk of titanium alloy like yourself.

Clank: (chuckles) Perhaps now you will tell me what Dr. Nefarious is planning.

Courtney Gears: I have a better idea. Why don't you ask him yourself?

Nefarious: What is it?

Courtney Gears: I have a present for you, snooky-wookums.

Nefarious: (screams) I told you to stop calling me that! Just bring me Agent Clank!

Courtney Gears: Of course, darling! Clank: Where am I? Is someone there? I seem to-...

Nefarious: Agent Clank, it is an honor to finally make your acquaintance. I have been following your exploits ever since your first mission when you defeated the mind-stealing snotbeasts from Dimension X!

Clank: I believe there has been a misunderstanding. Secret Agent Clank is merely a fictional character I play on the HoloVid-...

Nefarious (screaming): Lies! Squishy lie..!

Janice: Oh Lance. I can't. It's not right! You're my cousin's uncle's son!

Nefarious: ...ies! You are a hero to robots across the Galaxy! And yet you deny your own destiny! You choose to bow and scrape before the squishies! Where is your pride in who you are, Agent Clank?!

Clank: Organic life forms have as much right to inhabit this galaxy as we do. I see no reason to exclude-...

Nefarious: Then I will give you a reason. Join me and together we will rule an entire galaxy of robots! Or refuse. Remain a traitor to your own kind and follow your beloved squishies into the black hole of oblivion!

On-screen: Meanwhile back at Clank's Trailer

Ratchet: Clank should've been back by now. What could be taking him so long?

Ratchet: (screams)

Escape the Tyhrranoid Ambush (gameplay)
(Upon entering the graveyard room.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Double tap to blast off with the Charge Boots.

HelpDesk: Double tap R1 to blast off with the Charge Boots.

(Upon finding Clank.) Ratchet: Clank! Where have you been? I thought something happened to you.

Klunk: I was having my sprockets lubed.

Ratchet: You picked a fine time for a tune-up. Where's Courtney Gears?

Klunk: Miss Gears has left the planet.

Ratchet: What?! What about Nefarious? Did she tell you where he is?

Klunk: Dr. Nefarious is aboard a star cruiser called the Leviathan.

Ratchet: Um, okay. Nice job, Clank. So, I'll just call Sasha and have her track down that star cruiser.

(If you complete Holostar Studios before completing Blackwater City, the cutscene will play at the end of Blackwater City rather than here.) Skidd McMarx: Yo, dudes!

Ratchet: Hey, Skidd. How's the stakeout going?

Skidd McMarx: Awesome! A few minutes ago this totally tricked out space limo rolls up and dude, you won't believe who was in it. Courtney Gears!

Ratchet: Uh-oh. Were you spotted?

Skidd McMarx: No way, man. I've been staying outta sight, keeping a low profile. I'm like a shadow, dude.

Ratchet: And you're sure it was her?

Skidd McMarx: Totally! She even autographed my t-shirt!

Ratchet: (groans)

Skidd McMarx: You know how much this thing is worth?

Ratchet: Skidd, get out of there!

Skidd McMarx: Hold on a sec, bro. Somebody's coming. Hey, if you dudes are here about the t-shirt, the bidding starts at 300 bolts. Woah! Chill out, man! Hey!

Ratchet: Skidd's in trouble. We'd better get back to the Obani moons.

(After the cutscene plays, if you exit your ship.) On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Obani Draco, The Zygan System

Beat Courtney Gears (gameplay)
Clank: This is the testing laboratory for the Biobliterator.

Ratchet: Let's see what Nefarious has been up to.

Skidd McMarx: Woah! Like, I never knew you were this kinky, Miss Gears.

Courtney Gears: Don't you ever shut up?

Skidd McMarx: Okay, I'll zip it. Man, the guys aren't gonna believe this!

Skidd McMarx: Like, destroy all squishies, dude.

Ratchet: Wha-? They turned Skidd into a robot?! That's impossible!

Klunk: Not for Dr. Nefarious.

Courtney Gears: Don't be afraid, Ratchet. The transformation doesn't hurt. (giggles) Much.

Courtney Gears: Besides, I think you'll enjoy being a robot.

Ratchet: Let's see if you can fight better than you can sing.

(Randomly throughout the fight.)


 * Courtney Gears:
 * Yeah! Work it!
 * Ugh! All right!
 * Break it down!
 * Shake that booty!
 * We are the future!
 * You'll make a nice fur coat!
 * Ha-ha! You squishes can't dance!

(Upon being hit.) Dancer: Ow!

(Sometimes upon defeating one of the dancers.) Courtney Gears: Melissa! She was one of my best dancers! You're gonna pay for that!

(Upon taking damage in last half of the fight.)


 * Courtney Gears:
 * Oops I did it again!
 * Ouch! That looked like it hurt!

(Upon damaging Courtney in second half of the fight.)


 * Courtney Gears:
 * Ow! My hair!
 * Aww! I broke a nail!
 * Is that all you've got?!
 * Ow! Security! Get me security!
 * You'll pay for that you nappy little rat!

(Upon defeating Courtney Gears.) Courtney Gears: No! My fans can't live without me!

Klunk: One disposable pop-star, disposed! (chuckles)

Ratchet: Uh, you okay, Clank?

Klunk: Transmission from the Phoenix.

Sasha Phyronix: We've located the Nefarious' star cruiser. It's refueling at the Zeldrin Starport. Qwark is already on his way there.

Ratchet: It might be a trap. I think Courtney Gears was setting us up. Even so, it could be our only chance to stop Nefarious. We'll meet Qwark at the starport.

Sasha Phyronix: Be careful, Ratchet.

Ratchet: Come on, Clank. We'll come back for Skidd later.

Skidd McMarx: Uh like, destroy all squishes and stuff.

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Joraal Nebula, Starport

Rendezvous with Qwark (gameplay)
(Upon gaining control of Ratchet.) Overhead speaker: Welcome to the Zeldrin Starport. Due to increased security, thermonuclear warheads and nail clippers are no longer permitted as carry-on baggage.

(Randomly while exploring the starport.)
 * Overhead speaker:
 * Passengers are limited to two carry-on weapons.
 * Don't forget to visit the duty-free shopping area.
 * Organic lifeforms must be kept on a leash at all times.
 * Flight 377 to Florana has been delayed due to meteor showers.
 * Your safety is important to us. Please stay clear of all decorative pools of lava.
 * Robot ninjas must present a valid photo I.D. to access the ninja lounge on deck five.
 * Loitering in the starport is strictly forbidden. Violators will be disintegrated and fined.
 * To best avoid execution, please have your itinerary and three forms of I.D. visible at all times.
 * Carry-on weapons that are too bulky to fit in the overhead compartment must be checked as luggage.
 * For your safety and the safety of others, please refrain from looking suspicious. Violators will be disintegrated.
 * The detention center is now full. Please form a line outside while the current occupants are ejected through the airlock.
 * Due to new security provisions, passengers must keep appendages at their sides at all times. Raised appendages will result in immediate disintegration. Any questions?

(Upon opening the first door with Ninjas.) Overhead speaker: Disturbance in sector C-3. All security personnel report immediately.

(Upon entering the room with two Snipe Bots.) Overhead speaker: Security breach on concourse level. All units respond.

(Upon finding the Bolt Grabber V2.) On-screen: You got the Bolt Grabber V2!

HelpDesk (on-screen): Ho ho ho! You got the Bolt Grabber. That means your bolt pick up area has been extended.

Helga (communicator): Ho ho ho! You got the Bolt Grabber. That means your bolt pick up area has been extended!

(Upon approaching Qwark and Skrunch.) Skrunch: (monkey noises)

Qwark: I thought we agreed to put that jungle business behind us.

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

Qwark: It was mating season! How could I have known she was your sister? Er, heh. Ah, how long have you two been standing there?

Klunk: Too long.

Qwark: Well, ahem. Stop lollygagging and let's get to work! We'll use this shuttle to infiltrate the star cruiser undetected. Once on board, we find Nefarious and finish the job! You fellas ready?

Find Nefarious (gameplay)
(Upon approaching Qwark's shuttle.) On-screen: Enter ship

(Upon entering the shuttle.) Klunk: Shotgun!

Qwark: (groans)

Ratchet: Hey, what are you doing?!

Qwark: Move over, I'll drive!

Ratchet: Ah, no thanks. I'd rather make it there in one piece.

Qwark: Step down, soldier. This is your captain speaking!

Ratchet: Captain my (unintelligible). Wait, oof, don't sit on the flight stick! Qwark: (yells)

Ratchet (whispering): It's too quiet. I don't like it.

Qwark (yelling): Once again my brilliant plan has caught the enemy completely unawares!

Klunk: (chuckles) Message received.

Ratchet: What's that, Clank?

Klunk: Nothing.

Qwark: We'll have to split up and search the ship. Just remember, Nefarious is mine.

Ratchet (whispering): Unless we get to him first. Come on, Clank. Let's get some payback for Skidd.

(Upon entering the elevator on the other side of the Leviathan.) Lawrence: Come in, gentlemen. We've been expecting you.

Lawrence: The riffraff have arrived, sir.

Nefarious: Captain Qwark! You've put on a bit of weight since last we met.

Qwark: Yeah? Well, Courtney Gears didn't seem to mind.

Nefarious: Qwa..!

Lance: That's what makes it so good, Janice. Feel it? My heart is pounding like an anvil!

Lawrence: Oh, this is the best part of my day.

Nefarious: ...ark! I'll have the last laugh. I lured you here so that I could witness your demise! (laughs)

Overhead speaker: Auto-destruct sequence initiated. Prepare to die.

Nefarious: (laughs) Lawrence, teleport us out of here.

Lawrence: Of course, sir.

Nefarious: Lawrence?! This isn't funny, Lawrence!

Ratchet: What are you waiting for?! This ship could explode any second!

Qwark: I think I spotted something important! I can't leave without it! I'll meet you back at the shuttle!

Escape the Starship (gameplay)
(Upon the timer reaching ten seconds.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Hurry Ratchet! Run!! There's no time left!

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Hurry Ratchet! Run! There's no time left!

(Upon reaching Qwark's shuttle.) Ratchet: Come on, Qwark! Hurry up!

Klunk: We must leave now!

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

Ratchet: Not without Qwark! He would of waited for us, I think.

Klunk: Good for him.

Ratchet: Wait!

Phoenix 6
Sasha Phyronix: I, um. Well, we are all very glad you made it back safely.

Ratchet: Did you detect any other craft leaving the star cruiser? An escape pod? Another shuttle, maybe? Anything?!

Sasha Phyronix: I'm sorry, Ratchet. We heard the whole thing over the comlink. You had no choice. Captain Qwark died a hero.

Helga (crying): And we would frolic in fitness course unto the wee hours of the morning!

Ratchet: Captain Qwark had so many, um, wonderful qualities I just don't know where to begin.

Klunk: Such as?

Ratchet: Oh, err, okay. Uh, he was really tall! And ah, he had a unique fashion sense. And he had a really big chin with a kind of a, sort of a, well, you know butt shape. Ah, well, you know, I think I've droned on long enough.

President Phyronix: I just heard what happened. I wanted to offer my condolences to the team. Qwark's loss is a true tragedy. The man was a hero. Brave, honest, kind, and humble to the core.

Skrunch: (crying)

Klunk: What a load of bull-..

Ratchet: Shh!

President Phyronix: Captain Qwark may be gone, but his indomitable spirit of heroism lives on in each of you. I know the Q-Force will make our fallen Captain proud. Carry on, men.

Al: This came in the mail for Qwark. It's chapter four of the Qwark vid-comic series. He'd want you to have it.

Ratchet: Thanks, Al. You know, this could give us a clue about what Nefarious is gonna do next.

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Qwark-Comic Issue 4: Deja Q All Over Again

Play all Qwark Vid-Comics (gameplay)
(Upon immediately entering the hangar after the cutscene finishes) HelpDesk (on-screen): Ahem, I heard somebody has the latest vid-comic in the Qwark vs Nefarious series. Would that somebody hurry up and finish it already!?

Al (communicator): Ahem, I heard somebody has the latest vid-comic in the Qwark vs Nefarious series. Would that somebody hurry up and finish it already!?

(Upon going to the bridge, then returning to the hangar) HelpDesk (on-screen): A new suit of armor is available at the Gadgetron armor vendor!

HelpDesk: A new suit of armor is available at the Gadgetron armor vendor!

HelpDesk (on-screen): Man I need to drop a few pounds so I can squeeze into that new Aegis Mark V battlesuit. That thing uses sub-quantum gravity singularities to produce a phase-shift inversion field! See for yourself at the armor vendor!

Al (communicator): Man I need to drop a few pounds so I can squeeze into that new Aegis Mark V battlesuit. That thing uses sub-quantum gravity singularities to produce a phase-shift inversion field! See for yourself at the armor vendor!

Somebody Order a Pizza?
Narrator: Episode three: Shadow of the Robot.

Narrator: For six days, Captain Qwark clung to the ship like the dung of a giant green space bird. Finally, the ship arrived at its destination- a secret robotic laboratory on Planet Magmos. Drawing on his mastery of the ancient art of disguise, Qwark slipped into the laboratory completely undetected.

Qwark: Somebody.. somebody order a pizza?

Narrator: Qwark's plan was flawless. But unbeknownst to our hero, his every move was being watched.

Nefarious: The famous Captain Qwark couldn't possibly be this stupid, could he?

Lawrence: Even drooling imbeciles can achieve success in certain fields, sir. Mad science, for example. Shall I have him annihilated, then?

Nefarious: Let him come to us. I'll have a special surprise waiting for him! (laughs)

Play the Qwark vid-comic Episode 3 (gameplay)
(Upon obtaining Qwark's blaster.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Press to fire my blaster. Hold down and move the Left  for precision aiming.

Qwark (communicator): Press circle to fire my blaster. Hold down R1 and move the left analog stick for precision aiming.

(Upon having low health.) Nefarious: Watch! He's gonna die right here!

(Upon dying and respawning at the beginning of the level.) Nefarious: Captain Qwark. You looked more impressive on the holo!

(Upon getting past the section with the robot guards.) Nefarious: Oh! This is going to be good!

(Upon getting past the first section with the tires.) Nefarious: After we kill Qwark, this place could use a good vacuuming, Lawrence.

(Shortly after obtaining Qwark's blaster) Nefarious: Don't forget to get under the coffee table!

(Upon entering the room with Heli-Bots.) Nefarious: Hah! Sucker! He fell right into my trap! Did you see that, Lawrence?!

(After exiting the room with the Heli-Bots) Nefarious: Who designed this place anyway?!

Lawrence: Doesn't seem very practical, does it, sir?

Nefarious: I'll say.

(Upon entering the elevator.) Qwark: Huh. Reminds me of this nightmare where I was trapped in an elevator with a swarm of killer robots and-.. (screams)

9th Grade Biology Class
Qwark: It's over, Nefarious!

Nefarious: Never! I am the greatest genius the galaxy has ever known! You're no match for the likes of me!

Qwark: Hah! That's rich. I used to beat up geeks like you in high school. I'll bet your prom date came in a box that said batteries not included! Say, come to think of it, we've met before, haven't we?

Nefarious: No! Uh.. no, of course not.

Qwark: Mr. Bozell's 9th grade biology class!

Nefarious: (groans) I always hated biology!

Qwark: That's right! You were that freak with the headgear! Remember how I used to clean the chalkboard with your pants? (chuckles) While you were still wearing them?! Ohh, good times.

Nefarious: You were three times my size, you stupid oaf!

Qwark: I was always big for my age.

Nefarious: You were twenty six!

Qwark: Say, how about a wedgie for old time's sake?

Nefarious (screaming): Qwark!

Qwark: I think it's safe to say we've seen the last of Dr. Nefarious. Time to celebrate another job well done!

Narrator: But the danger was far from over. For in defeating one menace to the galaxy, Qwark had created another even more terrifying evil.

Giant Green Bratwurst
Narrator: Episode four: Deja Q all over again.

Narrator: After defeating Dr. Nefarious on Planet Magmos, Qwark returned to his condo in Metropolis for some well earned R and R.

Janice: Oh Lance, it's time you knew the truth. The baby isn't yours!

Lance: What? Who.. who is the father?

Janice: Oh! Your evil twin brother Englebert!

Lance: But Janice, I am Englebert!

Qwark: Ooh! Must be that pizza I ordered!

Helga: Guten tag, Captain Flabby!

Qwark: Dargh, Helga?! What are you doing here?!

Helga: Getting you off your lazy butt! You have plumped out like a giant green bratwurst! Hohoho! It is time for the fitness course!

Qwark: (groans) Oh, all right.

Narrator: Meanwhile, on a rooftop high above the bustling streets of Metropolis.

Nefarious: The hour of my vengeance is at hand! Go now my robotic servants! Tear this city apart! Bring me the head of Captain Qwark! (laughs)

Play the Qwark vid-comic Episode 4 (gameplay)
(Upon sliding down a zipline.) Qwark: Wee!

(Upon approaching the first ladder.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Hmmmm... a ladder... how do those things work, again? Oh, I remember, just press up or down!

Qwark (communicator): Hmm. A ladder... how do those things work, again? Oh, I remember, just press up or down!

(Upon obtaining the blaster.) Qwark: Jackpot!

(When Nefarious appears.) Nefarious: It is I, Dr. Nefarious!

Qwark: You again?! There's something different about you.. wait, don't tell me! You've changed your hair!

(Sometimes upon getting hit by Nefarious)


 * Nefarious:
 * You are no match for me, squishy!
 * This time I will finish you myself!

Quit While You're a Head
Nefarious: Qwark! (coughs) I'll get you for this!

Qwark: Sorry, what's that, stumpy?

Nefarious: This isn't over, Qwark! I swear, I will return some day to destroy you and bring Metropolis to its knees!

Qwark: Uh-huh. Just a word of advice, Nefarious. Quit while you're a head.

Nefarious (screaming): Qwark!

Narrator: And so Qwark believed that the threat posed to that galaxy had been ended forever. But.. huh. Seems the script is missing a few pages. Ooph!

Qwark: Thanks, Professor, I'll take it from here! And so ends the greatest tale of courage and heroism ever told, the true story of Captain Qwark's triumph over the nefarious super villain known as uh, Dr. Nefarious.

(After the cutscene plays.) Al: Aren't you gonna access the secret costumes?! Here, I'll use the cheat codes. Let's see, up, up, down, down, left, right, circle, square, square.

Al: (chuckles) He's in a tutu!

Ratchet: Metropolis! That's where Nefarious is gonna strike first!

Sasha Phyronix: Are you sure?

Ratchet: It makes perfect sense. Nefarious tried to destroy Metropolis years ago, but Qwark stopped him. Nefarious swore that he'd come back and finish the job someday. Now that he has his secret weapon, he's ready to make his move.

Sasha Phyronix: Set a course for Metropolis. Let's hope we're not too late.

On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Metropolis, Kerwan

Find Dr. Nefarious (gameplay)
Ratchet (yelling): It's already started! Dr. Nefarious must be around here somewhere.

Ratchet: You sure everything's okay, Clank? Maybe Al should take a look at your circuitry.

Nefarious: How do you like my special creation, Clank? I call him Klunk! Your dopey friend seems to be quite fond of him! Say, maybe they'll change your show to Secret Agent Klunk! (laughs)

Nefarious: Did you hear that, Lawrence?!

Lawrence: You put the wit in twit, sir.

Nefarious: Yes, I do, don't I? (laughs)

Nefarious: Today you will witness the dawning of a new era! For years I plotted in secret suffering endless disappointments. But soon it will all be worthwhile!

Clank: You will never succeed! Ratchet will put an end to your madness!

Nefarious: The only ending in Ratchet's future is the end of his life! (laughs)

Nefarious: And you will have a front row seat. (laughs)

(Upon walking out of the building after the first dropship.) Nefarious: It is time, Lawrence! Time to unveil the true future of this galaxy! The future I have chosen!

Lawrence: (yawns) Sorry, did you say something, sir?

Nefarious: The activation device! Now!

Nefarious: Behold the final chapter of this galaxy's destiny! The age of robots!

Nefarious (singing): You are my robot lover! Makin' my spark plugs go zap, zap, zap with your love!

Nefarious (screaming): Lawrence!

Lawrence: Oh dear, that was your audition for Galactic Idol, wasn't it? My mistake, sir. Dreadfully sorry. By all means, sir. Carry on.

Nefarious: (laughs)

(Upon approaching the bolt crank.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Press to attach the wrench to the bolt crank.

HelpDesk: Press square to attach the wrench to the bolt crank.

Defeat Giant Klunk (gameplay)
(Upon approaching the grav-train.) Ratchet: Look, Clank. It's Dr. Nefarious! And that butler guy! And they've got Clank! They're, uh, holding you prisoner. How 'bout that?

Klunk: (chuckles)

Ratchet: I guess I should be feeling pretty stupid right now. I don't suppose there's any chance he's the evil Clank?

Klunk: (chuckles)

Ratchet: Yeah, didn't think so.

Nefarious: (laughs and coughs) Ooh, I've been laughing so hard today my sides ache! I must admit, Ratchet, you've proven to be a far more worthy adversary than that imbecile Qwark. Alas, I have a galaxy to conquer, so our game must end here. It's a shame you won't live long enough to see the rest of your kind exterminated! (laughs)

Nefarious: (coughs) Well, you get the idea.

Klunk: (chuckles)

(Upon defeating Giant Klunk.) Clank: I am sorry, Ratchet. This is all my fault.

Ratchet: Knock it off, Clank. Nefarious did this and he is gonna pay for it! For Metropolis and for what he did to Qwark and Skidd. You and I are going to make sure of that! Come on, let's get off this planet before we end up dead or worse.

(Upon riding the taxi to your ship after defeating Giant Klunk.) HelpDesk (on-screen): I can't believe it! That thing just turned the whole city into robots!! Even the Tyhrranoids! You've got to stop Nefarious before he can use it again.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): I can't believe it! That thing just turned the whole city into robots! Even the Tyhrranoids! You've got to stop Nefarious before he can use it again.

Countdown (gameplay)
(Upon starting the challenge.) Ranger: The 'noids have placed explosive charges all over the city. You'll need the hovership to reach them all in time!

(Upon the timer reaching 1:30.) Ranger: Eh, Sarge? You think you can pick up the pace a bit? Some of the other guys are getting a little nervous.

(Upon the timer reaching 1:00.) Ranger: No rush, Sarge! It's not like we're all gonna die or anything!

(Upon the timer reaching 30 seconds.) Ranger: I just remembered I have a dentist appointment on Planet Aridia! Um, good luck with those bombs!

(Upon destroying all of the charges.) Ranger: Holy... he survived! I don't believe it! I mean- I mean, we never doubted you for a second, sarge. Good work!

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 10000 bolts

Urban Combat (gameplay)
(Upon starting the challenge.) Ranger: You know the drill, Sarge. 'Noids are everywhere and we're getting our butts kicked!

(Upon almost reaching the ground.) Ranger: They're coming from the tower!

(When the tyhrranoid saucers appear.) Ranger: Air raid!

(When tyhrranoids begin spawning from the bridge.) Ranger: Tyhrranoids coming across the bridge!

(When the second wave of saucers appear.) Ranger: Incoming!

(Upon the last wave of tyhrranoids appearing.) Ranger: They're everywhere! (screams)

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: Whew. Saving our cans is gonna be a full-time job, eh Sarge? One of these days we'll pay you back, man.

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 35000 bolts

Tower Attack (gameplay)
(Upon starting the challenge.) Ranger: The 'noids are holed up in four towers. You need a hovership to get up there and flush 'em out!

(While clearing out the third tower.) Ranger 1: Yeah, this reminds me of the sewer war on planet Aquatos back in sixty two, when I killed a king amoeboid with my bare hands.

Ranger 2: I heard the amoeboid swallowed you, sir. I heard you were AWOL until you, uh, turned up a week later floating in a toilet on planet Barium.

Ranger 1: Shut your trap, H-22! You weren't there and you don't know nothing about it!

Ranger 3: Uh, sir. I heard the same story. Only, I heard it was more like two weeks!

Ranger 1: Ahem! All units maintain radio silence.

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: Oh you certainly took your sweet time. Area secured, prepare to move out!

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 20000 bolts

Air Superiority (gameplay)
(Upon starting the challenge.) Ranger: We're taking a beating from those dropships! Requesting immediate air support!

(Upon shooting down the second tyhrranoid dropship.) Ranger: Woohoo! Let 'em have it, Sarge!

(Upon shooting down the second to last dropship.) Ranger: Nice shot. Just one more to go.

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: Nice flying, sarge! The 'noids will be getting desperate now. Be ready for anything!

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 15000 bolts

Air Superiority (gameplay)
(Upon starting the challenge.) Ranger: Here they come! Get to the turret and blast those ships outta the sky!

(Upon the tyhrranoid saucers approaching) Ranger 1: Lock and load!

Ranger 2: Incoming!

Ranger 3: Roger that!

(Upon the second wave of saucers approaching) Ranger: The 'noids are throwing everything they've got at us!

(On the second dropship approaching) Ranger: Medic!

(Upon the third wave of saucers approaching) Ranger: Don't shoot! I surrender!

(Upon defeating most of the saucers from the third wave) Ranger 1: Fire at will!

Ranger 2: Roger.

(Upon the fourth wave of saucers approaching) Ranger: This is the last wave, Sarge. Don't give those pus-buckets an inch!

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: All right! We kicked those 'noids clear out of the city! Thanks, Sarge. We couldn't have done it without you.

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: Map-O-Matic

Reward: 20000 bolts

Ranger: Thanks again, Sarge. Me and the guys wanted to get you something to say thanks for saving our butts all over the galaxy. Everybody chipped in. We got you this Map-O-Matic.

Ratchet: Oh, you guys are the best!

(Upon exiting the dropship on arriving at your ship.) HelpDesk (on-screen): The Map-O-Matic reveals secret areas on your world map. The secret areas are marked as green.

Helga (communicator): The Map-O-Matic reveals secret areas on your world map. The secret areas are marked as green!

Return to Phoenix (gameplay)
Darla Gratch: Just hours ago, Biobliterators devastated Metropolis. The devices have since disappeared and their current location is unknown. Galactic citizens are in a state of hysteria, reacting to news that Dr. Nefarious is planning identical attacks across the galaxy. We're live from Planet Marcadia with the Galactic President.

Darla Gratch: Mr. President, how will the attack on Metropolis affect your chances for re-election this fall?

President Phyronix: I'm glad you asked, Darla. Our demographic research indicates that robots will make up one-hundred percent of the galactic population by this time next week. Of course, that's great news for my re-election campaign, because as you know, I'm half robot myself!

Sasha Phyronix: I don't believe this! Everyone's acting like Nefarious has already won!

Ratchet: Maybe he has. If we don't find those Biobliterators soon, we're all gonna be robots. Uh, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Sasha Phyronix: Wait a second. Before the star cruiser blew up, didn't Qwark say he was trying to find something?

Ratchet: Yeah! It's a long shot, but I guess it's worth a try. The cruiser went down on Planet Zeldrin. We'll go check out the crash site. Maybe we can find what Qwark was looking for.

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Crash Site, Zeldrin

Explore the Crash Site (gameplay)
(Upon obtaining the Nano-pak.) On-screen: You got the Nano-pak!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Nano-pak stores extra nanotech that will automatically heal you in an emergency.

HelpDesk: The Nano-pak stores extra nanotech that will automatically heal you in an emergency.

(Upon approaching the escape pod.) Ratchet: Hey, it's an escape pod! It must have come from the star cruiser. And look, footprints! Someone else made it off that ship alive!

Clank: We must have just missed them. This pocket crotchetizer is still warm. Ratchet: Eww!

Clank: A call was recently made using the pod's emergency communicator. There is a recording.

Supernova Taxi
Taxi Driver: Supernova Taxi.

Qwark: I- uh, I need a cab to come get me right away.

Taxi Driver: Woah! This must be my lucky day. So, where can I pick you up, sweet-cheeks?

Qwark: Uhh, I'm-.. I'm on planet Zeldrin. Just look for the gigantic wrecked star cruiser. You can't miss it!

Taxi Driver: Wrecked star cruiser, eh? You sound like a girl who knows how to party! What say you and me go to the cyber disco later on?

Qwark: Watch it, buddy! I mean, don't get fresh with me!

Taxi Driver: Well, sorry lady. I couldn't help myself. I mean, a woman like you, in a dress like that!

Qwark: Oh, this? It's just something I threw together.

Taxi Driver: (rawrs)

Qwark: (laughs)

Taxi Driver: So, where are you headed?

Qwark: I'll tell you that when you get here and if you keep this quiet, there's another five bolts in it for you. Oh, one more thing. You happen to have a spare charge pack for this thing?

Taxi Driver: B20 Crotchetizer, huh? This gets better every second!

(After the cutscene plays.) Ratchet: I should have known!

Clank: What? That Qwark had a sister?

Ratchet: Huh?! No, no. That he's still alive! That was Qwark!

Clank: Ohhh. But why did he not report back to the Phoenix?

Ratchet: Because he wants us to think he's dead. I don't like it, Clank. Until we know what Qwark is up to, we should keep this quiet. If the Q-Force finds out that Qwark ran out on us, they might lose hope.

Clank: I understand. I do not like it, but I understand.

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

Ratchet: Hey, what's he got there?

Clank: It is a data disk. Qwark must have taken it from the star cruiser.

Ratchet: That must be what he went back for! Let's get back to the Phoenix and decode it.

On-screen: You got the Master Plan!

(Upon approaching the ship landing platform.) Ranger 1: Hi, Sarge! Uh, we were wondering if maybe you wanted to come hang out with us on planet Aridia.

Ranger 2: Um, it is H-22's birthday.. We're having a party!

Ratchet: I don't know, sounds more like a battle than a party.

Ranger: I told you he wouldn't go for it!

Ratchet: You guys just hang in there, I'll be there as soon as I can.

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Outpost X12, Aridia

The Tunnels of Outpost X12 (gameplay)
(Upon starting the mission.) Ranger: You got here just in time, Sarge. Looks like the 'noids are getting ready to attack through those tunnels.

(Upon the mecha tyhrranoids approaching.) Ranger 1: Incoming!

Ranger 2: Waste those tyhrranoids!

(Upon approaching the hovership.) Ranger: All right! Mission accomplished. It's a good thing the rangers were here to pull your tail out of the fire. Eh, Sarge?

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 10000 bolts

Ambush in Red Rock Valley (gameplay)
(Upon starting the mission.) Ranger: Sarge, we got 'noids all over the place! We need backup!

(Upon the first wave of tyhrranoids approaching.) Ranger: I don't wanna die!

(Upon the second wave of tyhrranoids approaching.) Ranger: These 'noids are more coordinated than we've seen before. We may be up against something new here.

(Upon the wave of tyhrranoid saucers approaching from the valley.) Ranger: Head's up! Enemy saucers.

(Upon the tyhrranoid dropships appearing.) Ranger: Here come the 'noid dropships!

(Upon the last wave of tyhrranoids approaching.) Ranger: They're everywhere!

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: Thanks, Sarge. You got here just in time. We're falling back to base to regroup.

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 15000 bolts

Assassination (gameplay)
(Upon starting the mission.) Ranger: Looks like you're going solo on this mission, Sarge. Yeah, the squads got a mandatory aerobics class we can't miss. Anyway, give those four-eyed scum sacs a whooping for us.

(Upon defeating three four-eyed tyhrranoids.) Ranger 1: This reminds me of the battle of Hamachi Flats back in 23. When I took on an army of ghost pirate robots with nothing but a Quack-O-Ray and a half charged crochitizer.

Ranger 2: Is that why some of the older guys call you "cabin boy", sir?

Ranger 1: Ahem, all units maintain radio silence.

Ranger 2: Haha, that must have been a real feather in your cap, chief! (chuckles)

Ranger 1: Keep talking, J-31. We'll see how you like scrub duty for the next six weeks!

(Upon defeating all of the enemies.) Ranger: Mission accomplished. All rangers regroup and get ready to take back the valley!

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 20000 bolts

Reclaim the Valley (gameplay)
(Upon starting the mission.) Ranger: Sarge, we need to activate those turrets to create a defensive perimeter around the valley.

(Upon activating the first turret.) Ranger: Uh, I think maybe we should stick around here and guard this turret, you know, in case the 'noids try anything sneaky! You can handle the rest yourself.

(Upon activating the second turret.) Ranger: How's it going, Sarge? You don't need any help do ya? Uh, sorry, you're breaking up! I'll call back later!

(Upon activating the third turret.) Ranger: Go, Sarge! Three down, one to go.

(Upon activating the final turret.) Ranger: All right, perimeter secured! Another victory for the rangers! Hey, maybe you should try pulling your own weight next time, Sarge!

On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

Reward: 25000 bolts

X12 Endgame (gameplay)
(Upon starting the mission.) Ranger: We've got the 'noids on a run! If somebody could push through those tunnels, we could launch a direct assault on the enemy base!

(Upon the rangers approaching the enemy base.) Ranger: There's a room full of 'noids up ahead, Sarge. You go in and clear 'em out while I.. uh, cover the rear.

(Upon the tyhrranoid saucers appearing inside of the base.) Ranger: Incoming saucers!

(Upon the tyhrranoids spawning from the other side of the bridge.) Ranger: Take cover! The 'noids are coming over the bridge!

(Upon the tyhrranoid dropship approaching.) Ranger: Fall back! There's a tyhrranoid ship blocking the tunnel exit!

(On destroying the tyhrranoid dropship.) Ranger: The enemy base is wide open! Time to finish the job.

(Upon destroying the two turrets on the enemy base.) Ranger: Inform command that Outpost X12 has been secured.

(The second line of text will appear if you have completed all other ranger missions.) On-screen: Mission Accomplished.

You got the Friend of the Rangers Trophy!

Reward: Warp Pad

Reward: 30000 bolts

Ranger: Hey, Sarge, over here!

Ratchet: What the..?

Ranger: Pretty cool, huh? It's called a Warp Pad. Great for running away. Here, I got an extra one.

Take Datadisk to Big Al (gameplay)
Ratchet: Hey, Al. What's up?

Al: Let's see, the neural matrix of this autonomous simulacrum retains an imprint of the template's original psyche embedded at its core level.

Ratchet: Um, you lost me after let's see.

Clank: He means it may be possible to reverse the process.

Skidd McMarx: Dude, dude, dude. What a trip.

Ratchet: Cool, I guess. Al, we recovered a data disk from Nefarious' cruiser. Can you decode it?

Al: Of course. Hmm, yes. Ooh! Omega class asymmetric encryption! (chuckles) Finally, a challenge worthy of my skills! Oh, by the way, we found something interesting in Qwark's quarters.

Ratchet: Hey, if it's another crotchetizer I don't even want to-..

Al: It is a Qwark vid-comic! Specifically, it is episode five of the Dr. Nefarious series. But, as everyone knows, only four issues were ever published. Not even my pals in the Qwark Cadets fan club have ever heard of this issue and those guys are real geeks, if you know what I mean! (chuckles)

Ratchet: I sure do. Thanks Al, we'll check it out.

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Qwark-Comic Issue 5: The Shaming of the Q

Redecorating the Torture Chamber
Narrator: This is the true story that Captain Qwark hoped you would never see. The unauthorized, uncensored and utterly unbelievable missing chapter of the Qwark Comic series. Viewer discretion is advised.

Qwark: Just a word of advice, Nefarious. Quit while you're a head.

Narrator: And so Qwark believed that the threat posed to the galaxy had been ended forever, but he was dead wrong.

Lawrence: Bottoms up!

Qwark: Somebody say something?

Nefarious: What took you so long?

Lawrence: I was picking out some new curtains for the torture chamber. They're crushed velvet with a gold lamet trim. Oh, I think they really add life to the space.

Nefarious: Never mind that now! Grab Qwark and let's get out of here!

Lawrence: Of course, sir.

Courtney Gears: Oh, Qwark. I've never met a man like you! After you, I'll be ruined for other men.

Qwark: That's what they all say.

Qwark: (screams) Where am I?!

Nefarious: You're in my secret prison, awaiting the most ingenious and depraved punishment I can possibly imagine! Come, Lawrence. It's time for my massage.

Lawrence: Oh, goodie.

Narrator: Using his antenna as a lock pick, Qwark eventually managed to open the door to his cell.

Qwark: Almost got it. Haha!

Narrator: But his escape did not go unnoticed.

Qwark: Uh-oh.

Play vid-comic Episode Five (gameplay)
(Upon obtaining Qwark's blaster.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Press to fire my blaster. Hold down and move the Left  for precision aiming.

Qwark (communicator): Press circle to fire my blaster. Hold down R1 and move the left analog stick for precision aiming.

(Upon respawning after dying) Nefarious: Look, he's getting away! Do something, Lawrence!

Lawrence: Perhaps we should flood the facility with boiling acid.

Nefarious: Ooh, I like the way you think, Lawrence. Can we do that? Make it so.

(After dying and then going up a narrow corridor) Qwark: Don't look down! Don't look down!

(While going up a narrow corridor.) Nefarious: The robot who brings me the head of Captain Qwark gets a free lube job! Everyone else gets disintegrated.

(Upon reaching a hallway after reaching the top of the long narrow corridor) Nefarious: (laughs) This is getting good! More popcorn, Lawrence.

(Upon reaching a group of ice blocks in the same corridor) Nefarious: Turn it up, Lawrence. I love this part!

(After traversing the rooms with the ice block stacks.) Nefarious: (chews) Mmm! Good stuff!

Who's Butt is This?
Narrator: After his narrow escape from the clutches of Dr. Nefarious, Qwark dropped out of the public eye. Truth is, Qwark was holed up in his secret hideout on the Thran Asteroid, terrified that Dr. Nefarious would make good on his promise of revenge. When Nefarious didn't resurface, Qwark assumed he was gone forever and returned to his career as a high-profile celebrity superhero. But the galaxy had not seen the last of Dr. Nefarious.

Nefarious: Ouch! What do you think you're doing, you oaf?!

Lawrence: Do hold still, sir. This is a very delicate procedure. There, that should do the trick. Go ahead, take her for a spin.

Nefarious: What's going on? Where are my arms?! Whose butt is this?!

Lawrence: Oh, my mistake, sir. Dreadfully sorry.

Nefarious (screaming): Lawre..!

Lance: Oh, Janice!

Janice: Oh, Lance!

Lawrence: Oh, my. We will have to get that fixed one these days.

(After the cutscene ends.) Ratchet: I should've known Qwark was full of it!

Clank: But why would Qwark lie to us?

Skidd McMarx: Dude, Qwark is bogus, bogus, bogus.

Ratchet: You can ask him yourself when we see him. According to this vid-comic, Qwark has a secret hideout in the Thran Asteroid Belt. I've got a hunch he's there right now.

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

Clank: He says he wants to come with us.

Ratchet: I don't think that- uh, wait a minute. You speak monkey?

Clank: Oh, just enough to get by. (monkey noises)

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

Ratchet: Now what?!

Clank: He says you have ears like a Florana dung beaver. (chuckles)

Ratchet: Yeah, hilarious. Let's see if he's still laughing when he finds out his pal Qwark is working with Nefarious.

Skidd McMarx: Major bogus.

Clank: Surely Qwark would never-..

Ratchet: He teamed up with Drek, didn't he? And I know I don't have to remind you about that Protopet business. Who knows what he's capable of.

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

On-screen: Downloaded Coordinates for: Qwark's Hideout, Thran Asteroid Belt

Find Captain Qwark (gameplay)
(Upon gaining control of Ratchet.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Hey kid. The Bouncer just went on sale. If you get here fast, I'll throw in a 10% smart shopper discount.

Slim Cognito (communicator): Hey kid. The Bouncer just went on sale. If you get here fast, I'll throw in a ten percent smart shopper discount.

(Upon approaching lawn ninjas.) Overhead speaker: Lawn ninja defense system activated.

(Upon being hit by a Qwark bot.)


 * Qwark bot:
 * Qwarktastic!
 * For justice!
 * Feel the power of the Q!
 * It's over, scum! Captain Qwark is here!
 * Remember kids, hygieneate three times a day!

(Upon damaging a Qwark bot.)


 * Qwark bot:
 * Not the face!
 * Hey! Watch it, buddy!

(Upon approaching the PDA vendor.) HelpDesk (on-screen): You can use that PDA to access the weapons vendor from anywhere. You'll have to pay a little extra for shipping and handling, of course.

Al (communicator): You can use that PDA to access the weapons vendor from anywhere. You'll have to pay a little extra for shipping and handling, of course!

(If Ratchet does not have enough bolts.) On-screen: You need 250,000 bolts to buy a PDA

(If Ratchet has enough bolts.) On-screen: Buy a PDA for 250,000 bolts

(Upon purchasing the PDA.) On-screen: You got the PDA!

(Upon standing on the Warp Pad without having the Warp Pad gadget.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Looks like you're going to need a Warp Pad gadget. You can pick one up on Planet Aridia.

Al (communicator): Looks like you're going to need a Warp Pad gadget. You can pick one up on Planet Aridia.

(Upon standing on a warp point for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): This is a warp point. The Warp Pad can be used wherever you find a warp point! Stand on a warp point and press to attach the Warp Pad. Then zap to that pad anytime with. Warp pads will disappear over time or, if you throw down a second pad.

Al (communicator): This is a warp point. The Warp Pad can be used wherever you find a warp point! Stand on a warp point and press triangle to attach the Warp Pad. Then zap to that pad anytime with circle. Warp pads will disappear over time, or if you throw down a second pad.

(Upon approaching the crevice near Qwark's quarters.) On-screen: Send Clank to the Underground Caverns

(Upon idling in the room after obtaining Skrunch.) HelpDesk (on-screen): During a jump, press and hold to glide using Clank's propeller.

HelpDesk: During a jump, press and hold X to glide using Clank's propeller.

(Upon approaching Qwark.) Qwark: Hey, little buddy. How'd you find me here?

Ratchet: We found your secret vid-comic, Qwark.

Qwark: Oh, that. Well, I don't expect you to understand. You probably look at me and think, "I'd give anything for a body like that!". For just one drop of his raw animal magnetism, one iota of his impeccable-..

Ratchet: Can we just skip to the end, please?!

Qwark: Er, let's see. Where was I? Sexy, charming, brilliant, iron hard abs! Ah, yes. But despite my outward appearance of utter perfection, well, umm..

Ratchet: Deep inside you're a cowardly wuss?

Qwark: No! Not exactly. When I escaped from that star cruiser cheating death by mere nanoseconds, I suddenly realized something very important: I could have died! Me, Captain Qwark! Imagine, an entire galaxy with no more me.

Qwark: And for what cause? So a few trillion people get turned into robots? Who am I to say who should or shouldn't be turned into a robot?!

Ratchet: You're pathetic, Qwark! I can't believe I once looked up to you. Let's go, Clank.

Clank: The people of this galaxy need you, Qwark. They believe in you. You can give them hope. You have a chance to redeem yourself and become the hero you have always wanted to be.

Skrunch: (screams)

(Upon returning to the ship landing pad.) Sasha Phyronix: Ratchet, where have you been?!

Ratchet: We were just-..

Sasha Phyronix: Never mind. The Phoenix is under attack! Our shields are-..

Ratchet: Sasha!

Sasha Phyronix: ..to forty percent. Life support systems are- ..I think they're getting- ..aboard the ship. Whatever's on that disk has Nefarious worried. Do anything to get it back. Hey hotshot, if I don't get to see you again, I just wanted to say-..

Clank: The signal is lost.

Ratchet: Engage the gravimetric warp drive!

Get to the bridge (gameplay)
(Upon entering the hangar.) Overhead speaker: Internal security breach detected on deck six.

(Upon entering the room with the broken transport.) Overhead speaker: Bridge compartment shields at forty percent.

(Upon entering the Refractor puzzle room.) Overhead speaker: Artificial gravity failure on deck five.

(Upon reaching the bridge.) Helga: Well, you certainly took your sweet time!

Ratchet: Hey, it's good to see you, too. Everyone okay?

Sasha Phyronix: We're fine. You made it just in time.

Ratchet: Any luck with the data disk?

Al: Hmph. Luck, he says!

Sasha Phyronix: Al cracked the encryption. The disk contains a complete copy of Nefarious' battle plan. He's going to attack planet after planet leaving nothing but robots in his wake. The Biobliterator is so well protected Nefarious doesn't believe there is any chance we can stop it.

Ratchet: Can we?

Al: I estimate our odds at approximately one in sixty-three million. Give or take.

Ratchet: Hey, that's uh, well you know, not so bad.

Al: The Biobliterator is programmed to recharge its power cells after each attack.

Sasha Phyronix: It's recharging at a base on planet Koros, right now. And Ratchet, the next target is Veldin.

Ratchet: (growls)

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Nefarious BFG, Koros

Get inside Command Center (gameplay)
(Upon landing on the planet.) Ratchet: Look, there it is! But how are we supposed to take it out? Whoa! My biggest gun wouldn't even put a dent in that thing.

Clank: Then we will need a bigger gun.

Ratchet: Yeah, right. Where we gonna get that kind of firepower?

Clank: Found it.

Ratchet: Huh? Woah. Yeah, that oughta do it.

Clank: If you can get me inside the command center, I can override the targeting system and take control of that ion cannon.

Ratchet: Let's go.

(Upon gaining control of Ratchet.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Hey pal. Today's special offer is a Plasma Coil, mint condition, still in the box. See you soon.

Slim Cognito (communicator): Hey, pal. Today's special offer is a Plasma Coil, mint condition, still in the box. See you soon.

Access Big Gun control Panel (gameplay)
(Upon entering the control room.) Nefarious: Agent Clank?! What's going on here? What do you think you're doing?!

Clank: After all those holo-films, there is one thing you should know by now: do not mess with Agent Clank.

Nefarious (screaming) Cla..!

Clank: Incoming call from the Phoenix.

Sasha Phyronix: Nice shooting, Clank. There's no telling how many lives you just saved! But we're not done yet.

Ratchet: Huh?

Sasha Phyronix: Al just finished decoding the data disk. Nefarious secretly constructed a second Biobliterator, a new model even more dangerous than the one you just destroyed.

Ratchet: Where is it?

Sasha Phyronix: Nefarious has a master control center on planet Mylon. We believe the last Biobliterator is there now, guarded by an entire robot army.

Ratchet: Then we'd better get moving.

Sasha Phyronix: Be careful, guys. This time they know you're coming.

(After the cutscene plays.) On-screen: Downloaded coordinates for: Command Center, Mylon

Battle your way to the Launch Site (gameplay)
(Upon gaining control of Ratchet.) HelpDesk (on-screen): I'll bet you miss your old Shield Charger, huh? Lucky for you I just picked one up. Come see me if you're interested.

Slim Cognito (communicator): I'll bet you miss your old Shield Charger, huh? Lucky for you I just picked one up. Come see me if you're interested.

(Upon deactivating the forcefield at the top of the magneboot rail.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Ratchet, you're going to need the Tyhrra-Guise up ahead. Security is airtight so it won't be easy. These robot Tyhrranoids are smarter than they used to be.

Sasha Phyronix (communicator): Ratchet, you're going to need the Tyhrra-Guise up ahead. Security is airtight so it won't be easy. These robot Tyhrranoids are smarter than they used to be.

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the first challenge.) On-screen: This is a fire drill! I need you to activate that elevator immediately, then proceed to the nearest swimming pool and throw yourself in.

On-screen: Hmm... how do I know I can trust you? You are a squishy, after all.

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the second challenge.) On-screen: Could one Tyhrranoid lie to another?

On-screen: Only if his lips were moving.

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the third challenge.) On-screen: I'm not sure I like your tone. I must report your behavior to the authorities... if you do not let me pass.

On-screen: You're going to be passing through my bowels if you are still standing there in five seconds.

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the fourth challenge.) On-screen: All right, no need to get violent! I'll just phone up Dr. Nefarious and let him know he won't be getting his massage today.

On-screen: I'm terribly sorry for holding you back, friend! Please proceed. Say Hi to Dr. Nefarious for me.

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the fifth challenge.) On-screen: Excuse me, sir. Lawrence doesn't like the color of this forcefield. He says it clashes with his trousers and he wants it deactivated immediately.

On-screen: Nice try, squishy. You know, I heard a rumor about a Lombax creeping around here disguised as a Tyhrranoid.

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the sixth challenge.) On-screen: Hah! That's a good one! That Lombax must be incredibly brave!

On-screen: Or incredibly stupid. Is that some kind of Halloween costume you're wearing?

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the seventh challenge.) On-screen: Hahah! Look, if you let me through I'll loan you my 'Amoeboids Gone Wild' holo-vid disc.

On-screen: Hmm... director's cut?

(Upon successfully inputting the correct buttons for the seventh challenge.) On-screen: Of course. You won't believe what those slimy coeds will do when the cameras are rolling.

On-screen: You've got yourself a deal!

Defeat Dr. Nefarious (gameplay)
(Upon approaching the Biobliterator.) Ratchet: Ugh, we're too late!

Nefarious: (laughs)

Sasha Phyronix: Get in!

Al: There it is! Nefarious has already initiated the launch sequence! If that thing gets into space, Veldin won't have a chance!

Ratchet: That's not gonna happen!

(Upon landing.) Nefarious: You again?! You will pay for your insolence, you miserable rodent! You'll regret- uh-oh.

Ratchet: Sorry, Nefarious. Your flight's been cancelled.

Nefarious: (screams) Lawrence! Lawrence? Lawrence!!

Lawrence: How can I be of assistance?

Nefarious: Annihilate him!

Lawrence: Just kidding! You've reached my holographic voicemail. Leave your name and a brief message, ta-ta!

Nefarious: Agh! Fine, I'll do it myself.

(After taking out a small portion of Nefarious' health.) Nefarious: I am defeated! I have no choice but to throw myself on your mercy!

Ratchet: Really?! I mean, that's right, Nefarious! Your reign of terror is finally-..

Nefarious: Sucker! (laughs)

Ratchet: (growls)

(When the rangers spawn in.) Ranger: Let 'em have it, rangers!

(Upon clearing out all of the enemies.) Ranger: Yeah! You want some of this?!

Defeat the Biobliterator (gameplay)
(Upon defeating Nefarious'.) Nefarious: Lawrence!

Lawrence: Oh, is this important, sir? It's almost time for my solo.

Nefarious: Begin the transformation!

Lawrence: I call it Bass Odyssey.

Nefarious: Now, Lawrence!

Lawrence: (sighs) If you insist.

Nefarious: (laughs)

Qwark: Yee-haw!

Nefarious: No! I don't believe it!

Qwark: Believe it, toaster head!

(After the cutscene ends.) Nefarious: Now let the age of robots begin! (laughs)

Agent Clank's Next Mission
Nefarious: Oh, the humiliation! Defeated by squishies! Ooh, I'll never live this down!

Overhead speaker: Warning: Reactor detonation in sixty seconds.

Nefarious: Lawrence, engage the teleporter.

Lawrence: Would you care to specify a destination, sir?

Nefarious: Who cares? Just get us out of here.

Overhead speaker: Time's up!

Nefarious: What!? That wasn't even close to sixty seconds!

Overhead speaker: Buh-bye!

Darla Gratch: We are live from the star-studded premiere of the latest holo-film in the Secret Agent Clank series. The atmosphere is positively electric as thousands of fanatical fans clamor for a glimpse of their favorite celebrities.

Maxmillian: Agent Clank! It seems your luck has finally run out. (chuckles) The time has come to say goodbye.

Maxmillian: (laughs) Your tricks won't do you any good this time, Agent Clank! I have been waiting for this moment a long time and now I am going to blow you into a million pieces!

Skrunch: (monkey noises)

Maxmillian: Get this thing off me! (screams)

Clank: Well, he got that monkey off his back. (chuckles)

Clank: Do not even think about it.

Bass Odyssey
Nefarious: What do you mean we can't teleport to a planet?!

Lawrence: I'm afraid we're well out of range, sir. Perhaps if you had bothered to specify a destination.

Nefarious: When will we be in range?

Lawrence: Oh, I'm sure something will come along in, say, five or ten, thousand years.

Nefarious: (screams) I don't believe this! Now what?

Lawrence: I don't suppose you can play drums?

Nefarious (screaming) Lawrence!!

Mike Stout
(Upon stepping on the help message at the Hacker puzzles, the editable effect area, or the Qwark comic section of the museum.) On-screen: Donated by: Mike Stout

On-screen: Our QA testers put their heads together and came up with a number of fiendishly hard Hacker puzzles. See if you're good enough to beat them! If you can, you can win some bolts!

On-screen: Back by popular demand, you can edit your own special effects. Just enter the debug window and change the values and see what you come up with.

On-screen: Because the enemies appear so small on the screen when playing the Qwark vid-comics, we thought we'd bring them closer for your viewing pleasure.

Cory Stockton
(Upon stepping on the help message at the turboslider model.) On-screen: Donated by: Cory Stockton

On-screen: Early on, we planned to have Turboslider races included in Ratchet and Clank 3. Due to a lack of time, however, they were eventually cut. However, you can still drive around on the only race track ever to be created.

Ken Strickland
(Upon stepping on the help message near Captain Blackstar or to the left of the TV in the Qwark comic section of the museum.) On-screen: Donated by: Ken Strickland

On-screen: This is Captain Blackstar, the original boss enemy at the end of Qwark vid-comic 1. He ultimately proved too complex and was cut.

On-screen: Now you can play the original, uncut, uncensored version of the Qwark vid-comic 1, "Booty is in the Eye of the Beholder" featuring different gameplay and the cut boss, Captain Blackstar.

Sean Wissler
(Upon stepping on the help message to the right of the TV in the Qwark comic section of the museum.) On-screen: Donated by: Sean Wissler

On-screen: This unnamed level was the first level ever designed for the Captain Qwark vid-comic rounds. Because it was very early, many of the concepts we tried here didn't work and as a result we cut the level. It is preserved here for historical purposes.

Scott Reeser
(Upon stepping on the help message near the multiplayer walker models.) On-screen: Donated by: Scott Reeser

On-screen: Originally, if any team in Multiplayer controlled all nodes in a battlefield, this monstrosity would appear and wreak havoc across the map. It was ultimately cut because it was too complex.

Carl Grande
(Upon stepping on the help message in Hank's room or the cut sandshark model.) On-screen: Donated by: Carl Grande

On-screen: Hank, the fearless Wiener Dog, was chosen by his owner, Carl Grande, as a De Facto mascot for Insomniac Games. These are pictures made by Carl to push Hank's celebrity status.

On-screen: This was an early design for the sandshark enemy from the original Ratchet and Clank game. It ended up not being the look we were going for, however.

Gray Ginther
(Upon stepping on the help message near the cut Qwark mask and cut hovership model.) On-screen: Donated by: Gray Ginther

On-screen: This is the original mask Captain Qwark wore when Ratchet first finds him on Florana. It was found to be too silly, and was replaced with one a little more somber.

On-screen: This is one of the early designs for the Hovership vehicle, which can be found in both the single and multiplayer parts of Ratchet and Clank 3.

Steve Moore
(Upon stepping on the help message near the Hound of Doom.) On-screen: Donated by: Steve Moore

On-screen: This robotic Canine was originally intended as a weapon in Ratchet and Clank 2. The so called "Hound of Doom" was supposed to seek enemies, attack, and then hang onto them until they shook him off or were defeated.

Tony Garcia
(Upon stepping on the help message near the cut Daxx enemies.) On-screen: Donated by: Carl Grande

On-screen: These enemies were originally for Planet Daxx. They were cut because their behavior was too complex for an enemy that only appeared once in the game.

On-screen: This swarmer was also going to appear with the ape enemies on Daxx. They were cut in favor of the fireflies because the fireflies were much less bug-prone.

Ryan Schneider
(Upon stepping in the far right corner of the museum.) On-screen: Check out www.insomniacgames.com to learn more about the Ratchet & Clank Universe and the fine folks who developed it. If you join our online community, you'll be able to unlock additional multiplayer skins!

Starship Phoenix

 * Notes:
 * The following section lists the possible lines that can be spoken by each character in the bridge room of the Starship Phoenix.
 * These lines are in a predetermined a four line conversation format, where there is a greeting, then a response by which character is formerly mentioned, followed by a comment from the initial character and then concluded by the second character mentioned.
 * Some conversations are not present during certain portions of the game, when characters are not present in the bridge room.

Al
(Greeting.)


 * Al:
 * Trooper!
 * Hey, slacker!
 * Captain Sasha!
 * Excuse me, Captain Qwark?
 * Sweet-.. I- I mean, Helga!

(Response.)


 * Al:
 * Al here!
 * Make it quick, I'm busy!
 * Al's Roboshack! If I can't fix it, it ain't broke!

(Comment.)


 * Al:
 * Are we there yet?!
 * You seen that monkey around here? He took off with my goggles!

(Conclusion.)


 * Al:
 * No problem!
 * I'm afraid not!
 * Ask me again later!
 * Yeah, when I get a minute!
 * I believe the answer is yes.
 * I must object in the strongest possible terms!

Helga
(Greeting.)


 * Helga:
 * McMarx!
 * Al, dear.
 * Miss Sasha!
 * Scrap heap!
 * Hey lardball!

(Response.)


 * Helga:
 * Ya?
 * I'm working! What is it?!
 * Sprechen?

(Comment.)


 * Helga:
 * Are you ready to try my new fitness course?
 * Are there no plus-size size keyboards? Hm? These puny buttons are too small for my fabulous fingers!

(Conclusion.)


 * Helga:
 * Nein!
 * What are you talking about?!
 * Listen up you lardball! The answer is no!
 * I will squish you like an insect if you keep bothering me!
 * (laughs) How about we wrestle first? You win and I'll do it!
 * (laughs) I'll turn you into a pretzel if you tell me to do that again!

Qwark
(Greeting.)


 * Qwark:
 * Helga!
 * Hey, Al!
 * Tech guy!
 * Oh, Helga!
 * Mr. McMarx!
 * Al, old buddy!
 * Officer Skidd!
 * Mr. Robot dude?
 * Yo! Skidd-dude!
 * Pardon me, Helga.

(Response.)


 * Qwark:
 * Yees?
 * Shoot!
 * What up?
 * What is it?
 * Spit it out!

(Comment.)


 * Qwark:
 * Chinese fire drill! Let's go! Chop chop!
 * Ahem, tell me the truth. Do I look fat in this?
 * Get the posa-tronic matrix system up and running!
 * Get me a crayon! It's time to play connect the dots!
 * Call my mother and tell her I finally got a real job!
 * I need the location of the nearest Galaxy Burger. Pronto!
 * We've got a bug on the windshield. Get out there and scrape it off!
 * Somebody drew a rather unflattering picture of me on the bathroom wall! Look into it.
 * Send a fruit basket to 226 Moon Lane on Marcadia. Sign the card, eh, your devoted slave, eh, Porky Qwarky.
 * Reverse the polarity on the.. thingy! And uh, re-divert power to something and get me some coffee! On the double!

(Conclusion.)


 * Qwark:
 * Yes, absolutely!
 * (laughs) I don't think so!
 * No, no, no! How many times do I need to tell you!?
 * Oh! I know the answer to that question! Uh, oh, wait, uhh.. I lost it.
 * That's a very good question, officer. I'd tell you, but you'd feel better if you figure it out on your own.

Ranger
(Greeting.)


 * Ranger:
 * Al.
 * Captain!
 * Insum McMarx.
 * Officer Helga?
 * Captain Qwark?

(Response.)


 * Ranger:
 * Aye, sir.

(Comment.)


 * Ranger:
 * Are we there yet?
 * Can I go to the bathroom?
 * Do you think I look like H-26?
 * Can you get me Agent Clank's autograph?
 * Can I watch Annihilation Nation on this thing?
 * Do you have any idea what I'm supposed to be doing?!

(Conclusion.)


 * Ranger:
 * Roger.
 * Negative.
 * Yes, sir!
 * Aye-aye, sir.

Sasha
(Greeting.)


 * Sasha:
 * Helga!
 * Big Al!
 * Trooper!
 * Ahem, Skidd.
 * Heads up, Al.
 * Insum McMarx.
 * Science officer.
 * Training officer Helga!
 * Skidd! Can you hear me?

(Response.)


 * Sasha:
 * Yes?
 * Sasha here.
 * Speak freely.

(Comment.)


 * Sasha:
 * Initiate plan nine.
 * Engage the impulse drive.
 * Get me a system check on three.
 * You're on second watch tonight.
 * Get me a sensor readout on that UFO.
 * Plot a course for sector alpha-five!
 * I want that report on my desk by 0-800.
 * Run a primary diagnostic on the computer core.
 * Meteor shower inbound, redirect power to four deflector screens.
 * Call up the archives on Dr. Nefarious. I want to know who we're up against.

(Conclusion.)


 * Sasha:
 * Negative.
 * Of course.
 * Affirmative.
 * Let me get back to you on that.
 * Last time I checked, I was still captain of the ship.

Skidd
(Greeting.)


 * Skidd:
 * Helga!
 * Yo, Al!
 * Hey, tin-head.
 * Uh, hey Captain Sasha?

(Response.)


 * Skidd:
 * Sorry, I'm busy!
 * What's goin' on?
 * Hello Mr. Q-dude.
 * You talkin' to me?

(Comment.)


 * Skidd:
 * Are we there yet?
 * Wanna check out my skydiving video? It's pretty sweet!
 * Dude, do you know what's going on with all these blinking lights?

(Conclusion.)


 * Skidd:
 * Bogus!
 * Umm, no?
 * Right on!
 * Sure, dude!
 * Not gonna happen, dude.
 * Dude, what have you been smokin'?

(Upon idling in any room but the bridge of the Phoenix, dialogue will randomly play over the intercom.) Qwark (intercom): Anybody know what the big red button does?

Overhead speaker (intercom): (alarm) Auto destruct sequence activated.

Qwark (intercom): Uh, nevermind! (laughs) I was just kidding around! (laughs) Anybody know where the escape pods are?


 * Al (intercom):
 * If anybody finds a Starmaster scientific calculator please contact lost and found!
 * Excuse me, could somebody make sure that there's coffee brewing in the cafeteria? I'm very disappointed!
 * Hey Clank, I've entered you in next week's Robowars cage match toasterweight division! We just need to drop five pounds and swap out one of your arms for a blowtorch! Call me when you get a chance.
 * Helga, there's something I need to tell you. I think you're the sexiest, nicest, most extraordinary artificial life form I've ever-.. hold on. Why is the intercom button flashing? Oh jeez!


 * Helga (intercom):
 * Today the cafeteria will be serving Helga's high protein meatloaf recipe. Bring your appetite!
 * Attention all crew members! You are required to attend the mandatory yoga class at 4-700. Dress comfortably!
 * Attention all you sissy jellyfish! Helga will be holding tryouts for the Phoenix crew softball team tomorrow at noon. Pansies need not apply!


 * Qwark (intercom):
 * This is your Captain speaking! Somebody get me a meatloaf sandwich. On the double!
 * I'd like everyone to congratulate Skrunch the monkey on his promotion to chief science officer! I feel confident that we have the best primate for the job! Better luck next time, Al!
 * Ratchet, we missed you at the last meeting of the Qwark cadets fan club. Don't worry, I signed you up for a two year premium membership. Enjoy!
 * Ratchet? I couldn't help but notice that you aren't wearing your regulation green Q-Force tights! I suggest you get your butt back in uniform before I write you up for a dress code violation!

(Upon approaching the Qwark inscription in the bridge.) On-screen: Press to read the inscription

(Upon reading the inscription.) On-screen: In memory of Captain Qwark,

The galaxy's most courageous hero,

and role model to men who wear tights.

He showed us that squeezing into a leotard doesn't make you a wussy,

necessarily.

Ok, usually it does.

Especially if it's green.

Continue

Multiplayer Tutorial
Qwark: Greetings, Qwark cadets! This is Captain Qwark, here to teach you everything you need to know about playing a multiplayer game. Let's get started!

Qwark: The multiplayer game can be played in split screen or online mode. Players are divided into red and blue teams. The object of a multiplayer game is to capture the opposing team's base. To capture a base, you must first destroy both of the bases' gatling turrets. Then, teleport inside the base and destroy the power core! (sniffs) Ahh, the sweet smell of victory!

Qwark: This is a node. Nodes are neutral objectives that can be captured by either team. There are usually several nodes placed throughout the map. You can capture a node by turning the bolt crank until the node turns your color. Capturing nodes gives your team access to various advantages including: vehicles, drones, special weapons, vulcan turrets, and spawn points!

Qwark: You can drive two different vehicles in a multiplayer match. The turboslider and my personal favorite, the hovership! All vehicles can be crewed by up to two players. A driver and a gunner.

Qwark: The radar display in the bottom-right corner of the screen shows the position of nearby teammates and enemies. Press R3 or select at any time to call up a full screen map of the level. If you are killed in a multiplayer game you will respawn on the battlefield after a few seconds. You can choose to respawn at any node controlled by your team or at your main base.

Qwark: Joining an online game is easy! Just select quick play from the main multiplayer menu and you will be automatically placed into a game with players of your own skill level!

Qwark: All right! Now you're ready to get out there and kick some butt! Let's get to it, Cadet!

On-screen
(Upon reaching a continue point.) On-screen: CONTINUE POINT

(Upon approaching a Gadgetron vendor.) On-screen: Activate Vendor

(Upon approaching the Gadgetron armor vendor.) On-screen: Activate Armor Vendor

(Upon approaching the ship vendor.) On-screen: Activate Ship Vendor

(Upon approaching VR deck.) On-screen: Enter VR Simulation

(Upon entering the Phoenix trophy room.) On-screen: View Trophies

(Upon earning a skill point.) On-screen: You got a Skill Point!

(Upon increasing your maximum nanotech.) On-screen: Your maximum Nanotech has just increased!

(Upon obtaining a titanium bolt.) On-screen: You got a Titanium Bolt!

(Upon obtaining a sewer crystal.) On-screen: You got a Sewer Crystal!

(Upon failing any galactic ranger mission.) On-screen: Mission failed.

(Upon completing a VR challenge while testing a weapon.) On-screen: Congratulations!

(Upon striking an inferno crate.) On-screen: Inferno Power!

(Upon purchasing the Magnaplate armor.) On-screen: Magnaplate Armor

(Upon purchasing the Adamantine armor.) On-screen: Adamantine Armor

(Upon purchasing the Aegis Mark V armor.) On-screen: Aegis Mark V Armor

(Upon purchasing the Infernox armor.) On-screen: Infernox Armor

Transportation
(Upon approaching your ship or the hovership.) On-screen: Enter ship

(Upon approaching any turboslider in the game.) On-screen: Drive

(Upon entering the Submarine near Slim Cognito on Aquatos.) On-screen: Take Submarine to Nefarious' Base

(Upon entering the Submarine near the Plumber on Aquatos.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon entering the Submarine near the ship landing pad on Aquatos.) On-screen: Return to Sewer

(Upon entering the taxi near the Harbor Station on Daxx.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon entering the taxi near the ship landing pad on Daxx.) On-screen: Return to Harbor Station

(Upon entering the taxi near the Grav-train on Metropolis.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon entering the taxi near the ship landing pad on Metropolis.) On-screen: Return to the Train

(Upon entering the taxi near the ship landing pad on the Thran Asteroid Belt.) On-screen: Return to Qwark's Quarters

(Upon entering the taxi near Qwark's quarters on the Thran Asteroid Belt.) On-screen: Return to your ship

Teleporters
(Upon standing on the teleporter in the Qwark boss battle arena on Florana.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter at the end of the VR gadget training.) On-screen: Return to hangar

(Upon standing on the teleporter at the entrance of the Laser Defense facility on Marcadia.) On-screen: Return to Laser Defense Core

(Upon standing on the teleporter at the Laser Defense Core on Marcadia.) On-screen: Return to Dropship

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the ship landing pad on Aquatos.) On-screen: Travel to Slim Cognito

(Upon standing on the teleporter near Slim Cognito on Aquatos.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter on any of the bridges in the sewer on Aquatos.) On-screen: Warp to another bridge.

(Upon standing on the teleporter at the end of the weapons facility on Daxx.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the warship arena on Daxx.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the ship landing pad on Daxx.) On-screen: Fight Warship

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the ship landing pad on Obani Gemini.) On-screen: Go to Obani Gemini: Pollux

(Upon standing on the teleporter at the end of the laser puzzle on Obani Gemini.) On-screen: Go to Obani Gemini: Pollux

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the beginning of Obani Pollux.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the disintegration field generator on Obani Pollux.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter at the ship landing pad at Holostar Studios.) On-screen: Go to Clank's Trailer

(Upon standing on the teleporter at Clank's trailer at Holostar Studios.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter at the end of the titanium bolt section at Holostar Studios.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the ship landing pad in Obani Draco.) On-screen: Return to control room

(Upon standing on the teleporter in the control room in Obani Draco.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the Biobliterator testing bed in Obani Draco.) On-screen: Fight with Courtney Gears

(Upon standing on the teleporter at the end of Box Breaker path on Zeldrin Starport.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the titanium bolt path between 3 and 4am on Metropolis.) On-screen: Insomniac Museum

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the titanium bolt path at any other time on Metropolis.) On-screen: Teleporter out of order. Come back another time.

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the ship landing pad at the Thran Asteroid Belt.) On-screen: Return to PDA Vendor

(Upon standing on the teleporter at the titanium bolt path at the Thran Asteroid Belt.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the PDA vendor at the Thran Asteroid Belt.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the ship landing pad on Koros.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the teleporter at the BFG on Koros.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon standing on the secret teleporter next to the Phoenix trophy room.) On-screen: Insomniac Museum

Weapons and Gadgets
(Upon approaching a Hacker terminal.) On-screen: Use The Hacker

(Upon approaching a Tyhrranoid with the Tyhrra-Guise equipped.) On-screen: Talk /  Abort

(Upon approaching a warp pad.) On-screen: Set Warp Pad Destination

(Upon upgrading any weapon for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Your weapon has upgraded! Weapons upgrade automatically when they are used frequently.

HelpDesk: Your weapon has upgraded! Weapons upgrade automatically when they are used frequently.

(Upon upgrading the Shock Blaster to V2.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Hold to charge up the Shock Blaster for a more powerful attack.

HelpDesk: Hold circle to charge up the Shock Blaster for a more powerful attack.

(Upon upgrading any weapon that has a lock-on mod.) HelpDesk (on-screen): This weapon upgrade features a lock-on mod. To lock on to enemies, press and hold and.

HelpDesk: This weapon upgrade features a lock-on mod. To lock on to enemies, press and hold L2 and R2.

(Upon equipping the Thruster Pack for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): The Gadgetron Thruster-Pack is a replacement for your old Helipack. You can use it to glide and to boost jumps.

(Upon equipping the Plasma Whip for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To throw your whip, hold and press.

HelpDesk: To throw your whip, hold R1 and press circle.

(With lock strafe mode enabled.) HelpDesk (on-screen): To throw your whip, hold and press  or.

HelpDesk: To throw your whip, hold R2 and press R1 or circle.

(Upon purchasing the Infector.) HelpDesk (on-screen): The Infector fires "nano-virus globules" that infect enemies on contact. Infected enemies will attack and infect other enemies until the infection wears off.

HelpDesk: The Infector fires nano-virus globules that infect enemies on contact. Infected enemies will attack and infect other enemies until the infection wears off.

(Upon using the Infector for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Enemies hit by the Infector will continue taking damage until the infection wears off. Hitting an enemy with multiple Infector shots will make the infection last longer.

HelpDesk (communicator): Enemies hit by the Infector will continue taking damage until the infection wears off. Hitting an enemy with multiple Infector shots will make the infection last longer.

(Upon purchasing the Spitting Hydra.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Hold to target multiple enemies with the Spitting Hydra. Release to fire.

HelpDesk (communicator): Hold circle to target multiple enemies with the Spitting Hydra. Release circle to fire.

(Upon buying enough weapons to fill up you first quick select ring.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Try customizing your QuickSelect in the pause menu.

HelpDesk: Try customizing your QuickSelect in the pause menu.

HelpDesk (on-screen): To access your secondary QuickSelect ring, hold while using the QuickSelect.

HelpDesk: To access your secondary QuickSelect ring, hold R1 while using the QuickSelect.

(Upon purchasing the Flux Rifle.) HelpDesk (on-screen): The Flux Rifle is an excellent weapon for sniping! To enter sniper-mode, equip the Flux Rifle and press. Use and  to zoom your view in and out.

HelpDesk: The Flux Rifle is an excellent weapon for sniping! To enter sniper-mode, equip the Flux Rifle and press L1. Use R1 and R2 to zoom your view in and out.

(Upon upgrading the Shock Blaster to the Shock Cannon.) On-screen: You got the Shock Cannon!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Shock Cannon can be charged up to release a spectacular beam of death. Hold the fire button to charge up the beam, then release the button and sweep it across your enemies.

HelpDesk: The Shock Cannon can be charged up to release a spectacular beam of death. Hold the fire button to charge up the beam, then release the button and sweep it across your enemies.

(Upon upgrading the Nitro Launcher to the Nitro Eruptor.) On-screen: You got the Nitro Eruptor!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Nitro Eruptor has a wider blast radius and simultaneously launches a volley of energy missiles with each shot.

HelpDesk: The Nitro Eruptor has a wider blast radius and simultaneously launches a volley of energy missiles with each shot.

(Upon upgrading the N60 Storm to the N90 Hurricane.) On-screen: You got the N90 Hurricane!

(Upon upgrading the Plasma Whip to the Quantum Whip.) On-screen: You got the Quantum Whip!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Quantum Whip emits waves of quantum energy that slice through enemies.

HelpDesk: The Quantum Whip emits waves of quantum energy that slice through enemies.

(Upon upgrading the Infector to the Infecto-Bomb.) On-screen: You got the Infecto-Bomb!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Infecto-Bomb launches a charge that explodes and infects all enemies within the blast radius.

HelpDesk: The Infecto-Bomb launches a charge that explodes and infects all enemies within the blast radius.

(Upon upgrading the Suck Cannon to the Vortex Cannon.) On-screen: You got the Vortex Cannon!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Vortex Cannon fires flaming comets that ignite anything they hit.

HelpDesk: The Vortex Cannon fires flaming comets that ignite anything they hit.

(Upon upgrading the Spitting Hydra to the Tempest.) On-screen: You got the Tempest!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The deadly Gadgetron Tempest can target up to seven enemies simultaneously.

HelpDesk: The deadly Gadgetron Tempest can target up to seven enemies simultaneously.

(Upon upgrading the Agents of Doom to the Agents of Dread.) On-screen: You got the Agents of Dread!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Gadgetron Agents of Dread are armed with lethal heat seeking rockets. When the Agents run out of ammo, they self-destruct in a massive nuclear explosion.

HelpDesk: The Gadgetron Agents of Dread are armed with lethal heat seeking rockets. When the Agents run out of ammo, they self-destruct in a massive nuclear explosion.

(Upon upgrading the Flux Rifle to the Splitter Rifle.) On-screen: You got the Splitter Rifle!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Gadgetron Splitter Rifle is the galaxy's most powerful stealth weapon. It uses quantum wave phasing to fire shots through multiple enemies.

HelpDesk: The Gadgetron Splitter Rifle is the galaxy's most powerful stealth weapon. It uses quantum wave phasing to fire shots through multiple enemies.

(Upon upgrading the Annihilator to the Decimator.) On-screen: You got the Decimator!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The all powerful Gadgetron Decimator releases a vicious swarm of heat seeking missiles. Each of the dozen missiles tracks independently.

HelpDesk: The all powerful Gadgetron Decimator releases a vicious swarm of heat seeking missiles. Each of the dozen missiles tracks independently.

(Upon upgrading the Holoshield Glove to the Ultrashield Launcher.) On-screen: You got the Ultrashield Launcher!

HelpDesk (on-screen): In addition to damage absorption and health drain, the Ultrashield fires a trio of destructive energy pulses at nearby enemies each time it takes a hit.

HelpDesk: In addition to damage absorption and health drain, the Ultrashield fires a trio of destructive energy pulses at nearby enemies each time it takes a hit.

(Upon upgrading the Disc Blade Gun to the Multi-Disc Gun.) On-screen: You got the Multi-Disc Gun!

HelpDesk (on-screen): Gadgetron's devastating "Multi Disc Gun" rapid fires homing discs that ricochet with each hit. The new discs will continue to ricochet, creating up to 16 discs per shot!

HelpDesk: Gadgetron's devastating "Multi Disc Gun" rapid fires homing discs that ricochet with each hit. The new discs will continue to ricochet, creating up to sixteen discs per shot!

(Upon upgrading the Rift Inducer to the Rift Ripper.) On-screen: You got the Rift Ripper!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Gadgetron Rift Ripper electrocutes enemies with each shot. Any enemies by the target will also be electrocuted.

HelpDesk: The Gadgetron Rift Ripper electrocutes enemies with each shot. Any enemies by the target will also be electrocuted.

(Upon upgrading the Qwack-O-Ray to the Qwack-O-Blitzer.) On-screen: You got the Qwack-O-Blitzer!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Qwack-O-Blitzer transforms enemies into highly explosive flaming ducks that will fly at your side and blitz nearby enemies.

HelpDesk: The Qwack-O-Blitzer transforms enemies into highly explosive flaming ducks that will fly at your side and blitz nearby enemies.

(Upon upgrading the RYNO to the RYNOCIRATOR.) On-screen: You got the RYNOCIRATOR!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The RYNOCIRATOR generates a spectacular blast of destructive energy that obliterates anything foolish or unlucky enough to be caught in its path.

HelpDesk: The RYNOCIRATOR generates a spectacular blast of destructive energy that obliterates anything foolish or unlucky enough to be caught in its path.

(Upon upgrading the Miniturret Glove to the Megaturret Glove.) On-screen: You got the Megaturret Glove!

HelpDesk (on-screen): Megaturrets fire guided missiles that chase enemies down and strike them with deadly force. Megaturrets will continue to fire until they run out of ammo or targets.

HelpDesk: Megaturrets fire guided missiles that chase enemies down and strike them with deadly force. Megaturrets will continue to fire until they run out of ammo or targets.

(Upon upgrading the Lava Gun to the Liquid Nitrogen Gun.) On-screen: You got the Liquid Nitrogen Gun!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Liquid Nitrogen Gun sprays a stream of sub-zero liquid that freezes enemies solid and then shatters them in a flurry of ice crystals.

(Upon upgrading the Shield Charger to the Tesla Barrier.) On-screen: You got the Tesla Barrier!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Tesla Barrier offers state-of-the-art protection and automatically shocks any enemy that comes close with bolts of high-voltage lightning.

HelpDesk: The Tesla Barrier offers state-of-the-art protection and automatically shocks any enemy that comes close with bolts of high-voltage lightning.

(Upon upgrading the Bouncer to the Heavy Bouncer.) On-screen: You got the Heavy Bouncer!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Heavy Bouncer fires a gigantic shell that bursts open and showers the target with powerful bomblets.

HelpDesk: The Heavy Bouncer fires a gigantic shell that bursts open and showers the target with powerful bomblets.

(Upon upgrading the Plasma Coil to the Plasma Storm.) On-screen: You got the Plasma Storm!

HelpDesk (on-screen): The Plasma Storm fires a seething mass of radioactive plasma that crackles with lightning. Any enemy caught in the path of this weapon is likely to be annihilated.

HelpDesk: The Plasma Storm fires a seething mass of radioactive plasma that crackles with lightning. Any enemy caught in the path of this weapon is likely to be annihilated.

Weapon on-screen text
(On pick-up of ammunition, where the X represents the count, and [weapon] the weapon you picked up ammo for) On-screen: Got X [weapon] ammo

(On upgrading a weapon, where the X represents the version number, and [weapon] the weapon you have upgraded) On-screen: You upgraded to the [weapon] V.[2—4]

(On upgrading a Mega weapon, where [weapon] represents the weapon you have upgraded) On-screen: You got the Giga [weapon]!

(On upgrading a Giga weapon, where [weapon] represents the weapon you have upgraded) On-screen: You got the Omega [weapon]!

Insomniac Museum on-screen text
(Upon standing on a help message pad.) On-screen: Play Help Message

(Upon standing on an effect pad.) On-screen: Activate device

(Upon standing near the turboslider model.) On-screen: Go to the Florana Turboslider track

(While inside of the Florana track.) On-screen: Return to your ship

(Upon approaching the editable Hacker puzzle.) On-screen: +  to edit Puzzle

(Upon approaching any model with viewable animations.) On-screen: View Next Animation

(Upon approaching the Insomniac Game Pyramid.) On-screen: Use Insomniac Game Pyramid

(Upon approaching Mister Fister.) On-screen: All hail Mister Fister!

(Upon standing on the help pad near Mister Fister.) On-screen:On-screen: Donated by: John Lally

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the multiplayer walkers.) On-screen: Go to Tank Room

(Upon standing on the teleporter near the exit to the outside area.) On-screen: Go to "Bomb's Away!" set

(Upon standing on the teleporter at the outside area.) On-screen: Go to "Pirate vs. Ninja" set

(Upon standing on the teleporter in the tank room, the Bomb's Away set, or the Pirate vs. Ninja set.) On-screen: Insomniac Museum

(Upon standing on the QA tester hacker puzzles.) On-screen: Donated by: Ed Kim On-screen: Donated by: Bill Powers On-screen: Donated by: Chris Towne On-screen: Donated by: Bryan Bernal On-screen: Donated by: Tyle Moore

Other
(Upon increasing your maximum nanotech for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Your maximum nanotech level has increased.

HelpDesk: Your maximum nanotech level has increased.

(Upon striking a jackpot crate for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): The Jackpot crate multiplies all bolts and experience gained for a limited time.

HelpDesk: The Jackpot crate multiplies all bolts and experience gained for a limited time.

(Upon striking an inferno crate for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Inferno Mode. Your armor and wrench attack have been greatly increased for a limited time.

HelpDesk: Inferno Mode. Your armor and wrench attack have been greatly increased for a limited time.

(Upon finding a titanium bolt for the first time.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Titanium bolts can be used to purchase new skins in the Specials menu!

HelpDesk: Titanium bolts can be used to purchase new skins in the Specials menu!

(Upon purchasing the Bouncer for free with a Going Commando save.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Looks like you two got connections in high places.

Slim Cognito (communicator): Looks like you two got connections in high places.

(Upon purchasing the Plasma Coil for free with a Going Commando save.) HelpDesk (on-screen): What did you guys do to win all these free weapons?

Slim Cognito (communicator): What did you guys do to win all these free weapons?

(Upon purchasing the Shield Charger for free with a Going Commando save.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Mr. Fizzwidget sends you his regards. This one's on him.

Slim Cognito (communicator): Mr. Fizzwidget sends you his regards. This one's on him.

(Upon increasing your maximum nanotech to the max.) HelpDesk (on-screen): Congratulations! You have reached your maximum Nanotech level.

HelpDesk: Congratulations! You have reached your maximum Nanotech level.

(Upon idling during a Qwark vid-comic.) Qwark: Who's the man?!

(Upon obtaining the Ratchet trophy.) On-screen: You got the Ratchet Trophy!

(Upon obtaining the Clank trophy.) On-screen: You got the Clank Trophy!

(Upon obtaining the Captain Qwark trophy.) On-screen: You got the Captain Qwark Trophy!

(Upon obtaining the Dr. Nefarious trophy.) On-screen: You got the Dr. Nefarious Trophy!

(Upon obtaining the Skrunch trophy.) On-screen: You got the Skrunch Trophy!

(Upon obtaining the Lawrence trophy.) On-screen: You got the Lawrence Trophy!

(Upon obtaining the the Plumber trophy.) On-screen: You got the Plumber Trophy!

(Upon obtaining the Courtney Gears trophy.) On-screen: You got the Courtney Gears Trophy!

(Upon obtaining the Al trophy.) On-screen: You got the Al Trophy!

(Upon obtaining the Nano Finder trophy.) On-screen: You got the Nano Finder Trophy!

(Upon obtaining the Skill Master trophy.) On-screen: You got the Skill Master Trophy!

(Upon obtaining the Titanium Collector trophy.) On-screen: You got the Titanium Collector Trophy!

(Upon obtaining the Omega Arsenal trophy.) On-screen: You got the Omega Arsenal Trophy!